Thursday, June 4, 2009

:: Preceptions ::

Perceptions is the process whereby one becomes aware of the existence of an object or an event. In my point of view, it often is influenced by factors surrounding it, and more often than not, result in subjective opinions on that matter. One looks at something from their own perspective, they hold on to that perspective and angle, and believe strongly in it.

When opposing viewpoints are raised, one might react in two ways. The first being they react strongly against it, while the second being a change in viewpoint to follow the "majority" to "blend in".

This process of Perceptions involves three stages, including selection, organisation and interpretation.

In the array of information that is available to one, one often selects the information that stands out to him/her, and which has an impact of a certain degree to him/her. He/she thereafter organises thoughts of the particular information, sorting out the details that he/she has an opinion on, before giving his/her own interpretation on that information. This whole process actually happens in just a few seconds, but is imprinted in the mind for a very long time thereafter.

This perception created is strictly the viewpoint of one, and can be right or wrong.

To me, more often than not, I carry these "perceptions", and at many times, being biased, and might influence the people around me to these perceptions, negative or not. Especially in the case of stereotyping.

Being in a competitive society such as that in Singapore, and also being a "not-so-booksmart" person, I've had, at many points in life, steoreotyped different groups of people, and putting them in the negative light.

Back in my JC days, being from a bottom ranked JC, I often "talked bad" with regards to students from top ranked junior college, basing it on past knowledge and experiences of interaction. I would always label them as "aloof, arrogant, and "no-life"". It was only after in depth interaction with someone from a top JC, that I know my perceptions was wrong, and that I should not label and classify someone or a group so easily.

When I was in university, I was entered in a faculty which was dominated by "foreign talents". Many of these are scholars and are highly competitive. In the brief first few dyas I started school, and living in the hostel, I had terrible experiences with these Chinese nationals. This led me to stereotyping them and through conversations with friends, affected them, labelling and giving them negative nicknames. We would not see their "good", but to highlight their bad. They were classified as having bad dress sense, poor hygiene, uncouthed, etc. Me and my friends would instantly shun them on the streets and in the campus. In the later days when I was "forced" to do projects with a few of them, my impressions changed and was once again proven wrong.

As humans, we are prone to developing such perceptions about people, things and events, good or bad, but we should always try to be objective, and conduct perceptive checks before passing judgments on them. We should always try to be rational, and look at things from different angles, and accepting that there are different things and people in the world, things happen for a reason, and be able to look at things in different views.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

:: 困 ::

被捆绑住的感觉真的很不好受。
当你神经紧绷的时候
你盼望的是自由

奇怪的是
当你太过自由
却似乎失去了原有的自我控制
这时候 感觉无助、彷徨、害怕
因为失去了的 找不回
错过的机会 不会回头
浪费掉的时间 不可能倒转
世界只会继续旋转


困惑
困难

戒 解 接 借
戒掉坏习惯
解开绷住的线
接开前路的门槛
借用世界的时间与机会

我不要在让生命控制我了

我要掌控我的一切
现在~未来~

:: drained ::

I feel drained
physically and mentally
especially mentally
out of creativity
out of ideas
practically feeling that there's no more space in my mind.

Once again,
I seem out of control of my own life
I am letting my studies and projects take control instead
and on the free times I have
I sleep..
because I am so deprived of it.

I have no social life,
almost zero.
I am not going out and enjoying my life as much
as I would like to
I am not seeing the world
and feel left out
desperately..

The world is just running on without me
I am trailing too far behind..
i need to catch up with life
to pursue what I really want
to unleash the creativity hidden within

I need time and control.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

:: 谢霆锋《最后》成熟多了 惊喜少了 ::

文:林觉豪(学生记者)

阔别乐坛四年,谢霆锋再次推出全新国语专辑《最后》。听出岁月带来的沧桑,却没加入太多新惊喜。沧桑嗓音仍是特征,在摇滚快歌中发挥得淋漓尽致。
专辑中收录了九首新歌以及一首粤语版歌曲“Tonight”。近年来事业重心放在电影,这张专辑比较像是这些年的电影主题曲精选集。
当中就包括“可以可以吗”和“终点站”。主打歌“终点站”与歌迷们分享他的爱情观,描述着不离不弃的爱情,Nicholas更把歌深情献给妻子张柏芝。
经过人生历练的谢霆锋,明显的在多首歌曲中表示的更成熟稳重。专辑曲风与概念以航空母舰为主,配合着飞行导航者的造型,表现出Nicholas的酷,霸气十足。
开场曲“Tonight”,是首韩语翻唱曲。摇滚曲风强烈,但谢霆锋似乎无法掌控好,在主歌部分,音域偏低,独特标准国语发音更是听来有点辛苦。反而是粤语版“Tonight”,唱得较自然,更有感觉。“新雅廊”和“别管我”很有态度,仿佛回到刚出道时的那种豪爽态度。
抒情歌曲“最后的爱”和“不敢的天才”中,谢霆锋充分表现出浓郁的情感,深情表演的慢歌都相当耐听。值得一提的是,“最后的爱”由林夕改编的词,额有画面感,是久违的典型谢式情歌。
Soler与林夕联合创作的“好样”太“Soler”,虽谢霆锋已尽力表现出自己的rock韵味,却似乎走不出创作人的阴影。
专辑整体来说相当完整,由谢霆锋联合制作,听得出他的想法,更感觉到他的努力。很希望这不会是他的“最后”,相信将来能更有突破与惊喜。

:: 容祖儿《A Time For Us》用心的音乐最动听 ::

文:林觉豪 (学生记者)
图:网络

出道10年的Joey容祖儿,刚推出了全新粤语专辑《A Time For Us》。刚获得2008年IFPI香港唱片销量大奖的Joey,在09年强势举行一连串演艺生涯10周年的庆祝活动,以这张广东大碟打头阵。《A Time For Us》以“我们的时期”为主题,收录了10首完美精彩的歌曲,呈现出粤语歌坛天后十足的唱腔与动感。

要在现今的乐坛打出个名堂,若不是有突出的外形,就是拥有绝佳的歌声,不然就是多才多艺,当创作型歌手。容祖儿却刚巧参杂在其中,外表不算太突出,歌声也不是特别好,但幸运的,碰到好的专辑制作班底,为她量身打造出首首动听金曲,一张张销量高的专辑。

这次《A Time For Us》也不例外。汇集了粤语歌坛中金牌音乐创作人和制作人,C.K.Yong,Eric Kwok和林夕等人,每首歌都让Joey有巨大的发挥空间。

Joey的专辑一大特征是传唱度高的K歌。主打歌“可歌可泣”就是个好例子。林夕的词加上C.K.Yong的优美曲子,听起来舒服之余,主旋律容易记得,听几次就能一次哼唱。

以Joey的知名度,广告代言不必多说。专辑就收录了3首Joey的广告歌。除了“可歌可泣”(百老汇电器广场广告曲),还有香港麦当劳广告曲“我所知的两三事”和可口可乐广告曲“开动快乐”。这两首快节奏的歌曲,调皮可爱。“开动快乐”让我想起王菲的“你喜欢不如我喜欢”,感觉却有点不同。口哨声是该品牌的特征,给人一种愉快的感觉,但本人觉得有一点别扭。
抒情歌曲方面,“搜神记”,“圆谎”和“时不兴我”都相当耐听。“It Doesn’t Matter”中,Joey歌声发挥很好,最能听出她的进步。“心贼难防”曲风新颖,玩出了一定的精彩,也表现出了Joey转音的实力,够新鲜。

专辑造型以非洲流浪民族为主题,附加的56页写真集是Joey迷必得拥有的。专辑整体制作用心,值得收藏。

这整张专辑再次让Joey尝试了不同的曲风,随着经验开始掌控不同的歌唱技巧。10年来累积的用心,让这专辑精彩,动听。

:: 吸收。反思。分析。- 非政治/人权?那又凭什么?::

这几个星期以来,最令我关切的新闻,就是关于缅甸扣压审判前领袖翁山淑枝的这件事。对很多人来说,或许翁山淑枝这个名字,是既熟悉又陌生的,因为,我们在过去的十多年,断断续续都听到这个名字,总是知道这位女士是的不屈不挠的政治领袖,但对她实际的情况,却大多一知半解。

在今天读到的一份保障报道,是我这几天来,最盼望读到的,但却同时令我感到非常失望。这报道就说明了缅甸政府对外界,尤其是美国和亚西安群国,对于缅甸所施加的压力,给予的回应。缅甸是由军士政府所管制的。而翁山淑枝,就是在他们眼里最大的威胁。这十几年来,军事政府得权之后,都在避免这让翁山淑枝带党出选选举,处处为难这位杰出的政治领袖,无论她是多顽强的支撑着,都似乎无效。这是民主吗?]

大约的解释目前的情况与事情的发展。翁山淑枝是于进5年前被扣压,以“政治”因素,违反条规,被判家中服刑。这段4年的家中服刑之前,翁山淑枝已在缅甸的Insein Prison牢房里“蹲”了一段时期了。这次的家中徒刑,原本已经将近到期,会在过去的26日被释放出来。就刚巧,在本月初的时候,有一位美国的记者“偷渡”过江到文山淑枝的湖边家中,并以“累”为理由,要求住在她家中。翁山淑枝原本不肯,毕竟是有可能触徒刑条规,拒绝了该男子,过后又已人道理由,“收留”了他两晚。 怎知此事被军方知晓,告她触犯条规,这次刑法,若罪名成立的话,是在度入狱长达5年。刚巧缅甸将在明年前举行民主大选,这一切,是巧合吗?]

过去的几天,连连发生了一些事。被扣压的翁山淑枝已开始出庭作证。在出庭的第一天,她已说明了自己的立场,表示是以人道的理由收留了该男子,并纯属给予他住宿。翁山淑枝更是坚持自己并没触犯任何的条规。在那之前,翁山淑枝首次被批准于一些国家的外交部官员与记者会面,但详细内容却是客观话语,似乎没有像是她会说的真正的话语,带有照稿说话的嫌疑。被扣压的这段日子,除了中国是保持中式立场之外,美国已经发言指责这次的事件。而缅甸的直接邻居,亚西安国家,都有意施加压力,提出了反对的异议。原本,亚西安组织个国是保持观望的态度,也曾经表示决不参与成员国的内部政治。但这次,其余的成员国都已表示立场,不鼓励继续扣压审判翁山淑枝。

昨天,缅甸的军方政府终于回话了。他们表示,这次扣压,绝对是内政法律的因素下扣压翁山淑枝,绝无政治或人权因素的干扰,更是提出立场说,决不向外界所施加的压力妥协,劝请其他国家避免插手,包括联合国世政府。

这样短短的新闻发布,令我非常难受。翁山淑枝到底犯了什么错?她的杰出才能,是众所周知的。怎么说,她也曾得过诺贝尔和平奖的加冕。若这一切不是因政权的因素,真的让人无法了解。

另一方面,文山淑枝在过去的十五年期间,当中有多达十三年是在监狱里,否则就是在家中服刑,这样过的。她坚持相信有着自由的一天,换回的则是世人的关心,自己的痛心。理想的和平与真理,何在?? 这样已外界视为非犯法的条列扣压他人,还连续已外界视为不成立的法则判罪他人,这不是触犯人权,是什么?

刚巧,在几个星期前也提到了一部本地话剧,由李邪所主演的“狂女日记”,还在当时说了此角色与翁山淑枝的相似度。当时说了,就算他被放出来,人家还是会已有色眼镜看她,觉得他是疯子。照情况看来,翁山淑枝这次判刑已相当确定是得服了。这样坐牢,也难免会成为政治疯子。
接下来,也只能密切关心局势的发展,为人权和政治权利保持己见。我相信,总有一天,缅甸军方政府会倒塌,由一个真正能带国家走入繁荣的政府取代。多久?我不敢想。希望,只能希望天理存在,放了翁山淑枝吧。

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

:: my back hurts! ::

like hell!
argh!
its back to haunt me!
shit!
how?
my run this saturday!

damn!!!

please recover soon..
like when i wake up tmr it will be okay..
please
i beg.. you... whoever u are..
help!!!!

:: late night ::

just finished my first chinese essay assignment
which is supposed to be of 1200-1500 words..
amazing but true

guess wat..
i busted it..
final character count?
1899..
but well
i would say tt includes a section of lyrics of a sunyanzi song which is approx 150 char
so that does not count
plus an average of 10% of commas and fullstops..
makes it around 1500 la hor..

thats the thing
when u dun have something to start with
you worry
and when u start writing, you have so many descriptions you want to add in
and you might think very far how to develop the writing
then in the middle
you feel juxtaposed
if you want to carry on writing, when should you stop
and how shud it be developed?
will I be able to hit the word limit?

then when you get near the upper limit
you have even more things to write
then shit!
you fly past the upper limit and
pray no one notices that you have flown thru the roof

well
i managed to write my essay and re read it through
and though it still feels farny at some part

i find this essay really interesting
especially since its partially true
though mostly made up
(stop fantasizing, isaac!)

if there's a chance,
i'll post it up here.
though i think no one will be interested to read

those who really want, can always ask me for a soft copy..
haha.. for pleasure reading and let your imagination run wild!

LOL!

oh! wat am i doing here at this time,
its almost 3am!

(oh ya, lying on bed while writing essay has caused my back to be a little pain..
ominous sign tt i shud not go cheerleading practive tmr?? hmm...)

Monday, May 25, 2009

:: enjoy the present ::

Vietnamese Buddhist monk and philosopher Thich Nhat Hanh
Writes about enjoy a good cup of tea.
You must be completely awake in the present to enjoy the tea.
Only in the awareness of the present can your hands feel the warmth of the cup.
Only in the present can you savor the aroma, taste the sweetness, appreciate the delicacy.
If you are ruminating about the past or worrying about the future, you will completely
Miss the experience of enjoying the cup of tea.
You will look down at the cup, and the tea will be gone.
Life is like that.
If you are not fully in the present, you will look around and it will be gone.
You will have missed the feel, the aroma, the delicacy and beauty of life.
It will seem to be speeding past you.
The past is finished.Learn from it and let it go.
The future is not even here yet.
Plan for it, but do not waste your time worrying about it.
Worrying is worthless.
When you stop ruminating about what has already happened,
When you stop worrying about what might never happen,
Then you will be in the present moment.
Then you will begin to experience joy in life.
(from Only Love Is Real, by Dr Brian Weiss)
I was tanning by the pool with dearie when he read out this section.
It wasn't something that I have not read before.
But reading it again from this perspective gave me insight.
I reflect too much, and in this process could have been
Stuck too long in the quagmire of the past.
Perhaps it is time to fully focus on the happy present.
Make the best of it, and cherish it.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

:: no time ::

Yup. I guess its a bit demoralising for you my friends
to visit my blog to only read some rubbish in chinese
or stuffs that you are able to see elsewhere
like on my school blog diandao
or on mediaweb ourvoicebox.sg
worse
my chinese essays!

haha

but well
that IS the case
i've had no time and no creativity in even expressing my own thoughts
too much effirts have been INDULGED into writing for the above platforms
i've relatively no time in writing for myself
it seems now like a chore to be blogging
and that is sad

i find my life rather stale
not in the sense that its been boring
but i try to bring the "news" in my everyday life
first hand translate into chinese
and post it on diandao
which is supposed to be a platform of "communication"
between classmates and teacher danny yeo
but a you may know
writing there is not like writing as Isaac
because i need to take note of my language and to be able to convey the messages across
carefully and properly
and seriously lor,
how personal can you get writing in chinese right?
haha..

i now try to make it a point
as a promise to myself
that I will blog here,
in ENGLISH
with my viewpoints no matter what
to try to keep a promise and staying true to myself
blog at least three times a week
sharing my thoughts
and not just blaming my no time and no energy on my coursework..
damn..

but then again..

i've got a creative essay of 1000 words due in 2 days
5 business cards and logo designs to complete and a formal presentation
10 photos in different views to take (i need models!)
a project about media in taiwan
a project about social psychology to implement and experiment and report
and a blog to write on and communicate..

whoa.. never felt so "fulfilling" in my life

but well... at least i'm happy! i hope.. :)

Friday, May 22, 2009

:: 神木与瞳 摇滚精神震荡Lunar Bar ::

from ourvoicebox

文:林觉豪(学生记者)

星光二班的赖铭伟和黄美珍(神木与瞳),二度来新在克拉码头Lunar Asian Fusion Bar 举行小型售票音乐会,全场爆满,摇滚音乐high 翻天。



超人气摇滚男女组合神木与瞳,继去年底到新加坡宣传新专辑时,曾到Lunar举行新歌演唱会。因反应热烈,在今年5月20日晚上,再度回到Lunar开唱。和现场乐队一同表演,除了唱出多首《为你而活》专辑里的歌曲,也为观众带来其他艺人的经典歌曲,摇滚精神引爆全场。

本地歌迷熟记非主打

音乐会一开始,身穿黑白线条搭配的Yuming和Jane,默契无间,带来了几首强劲的歌曲,如“武装的蔷薇”和“爱在末日前”,Yuming(赖铭伟)弹着电吉他,配合美珍高亢的嗓子,首首歌曲都让现场的观众一起跳起来。



进入Unplugged不插电的部分,Yuming开玩笑说要暗下灯来,才更有气氛。带来抒情歌曲包括“爱恋”和“理由”,显示出两人的唱功。非主打“不放”即使很少在公开表演,但这次表演在场的歌迷一却能跟着合唱,两人都赞本地歌迷厉害,熟背了专辑中所有的歌曲!

摇滚精神震荡全场

演唱抒情主打《草戒指》时,神木与瞳上前与歌迷握手,拉近与歌迷们的距离,更带领全场一起挥手,大合唱。过后,美珍松了口气,表示终于唱完所有抒情歌曲的喜悦,准备把音乐会推向另一个高潮。



把台上的乐器推到一旁后,两人演唱了张惠妹的“三天三夜”,继续high爆全场,舞池里的歌迷更跳动起来。Yuming和美珍飙唱的“自由”,也让人听出耳油!

最后,神木与瞳与歌迷一起大合唱成名曲“为你而活”,歌迷的声音一度还盖过了美珍的歌声,摇滚精神震荡全场,音乐会结束后仍依依不舍和歌迷们道别。

特别鸣谢:环球音乐

(pictures can be seen on the page. do log on to ourvoicebox for moreyoung and happening stuffs, and occasional reports and reviews by ME! muahaha! support la!)

Thursday, May 21, 2009

:: 朋友?::


是我不了解别人,
还是人家不了解我?

是我孤僻,
还是他们并没归纳我在团内?

我的无声,
传达出的不是敌意吗?
当我太常安静时,
你们是否已习以为常,
忘了我也有感受的?

他人会生气,
我就没有这权利吗?

是因为我年级较大,
更独立,
就不需朋友的关怀?

或许,
或许孤独也不错。
或许,
我能找到更志同道合的朋友,
更能了解我,
多点关心我。

:: My Adam Lambert ::

WTH?? WTF?? How on Earth did America vote?? WTH?? WTF??

How could KA win?? Adam Lambert will win in terms of CD sales. Its proven. Idol results is not the true indicator, because votes are free! CD sales prove it!! Yeah!

Adam Lambert is my World Idol!!!!!!!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

:: Pinkdot . 爱的权力 ::

5月10日是历史性的一天。500多人,身穿粉红服饰,聚集在芳林公园,制成一个巨大的粉红点。


媒体会说,这是个示威,为同性恋者争取利益的示威,但我不赞同。
这是一个让世界知道,新加坡是个开放的社会。我们并不是在争取权利,而只不过是想分享我们的爱。


这是有史以来第一次那么多位GLBT(gay,lesbian,transgender,bisexual)一同为一个理念而站出来。当中,更有许多是straight异性恋者。但所有人都相信,如新加坡这繁荣的社会,不应该有对弱小族群的歧视。


我们应该是个包容的社会,尊重彼此,让大家都有这生活的权利,有选择爱的权利。


在傍晚六点钟,当所有人聚集时,一同举起手中的粉红气球与雨伞是,在其中的我,感觉到的是自豪、骄傲、光荣。这是向前行的新加坡。活动代言人,本地戏剧演员,已婚的异性恋者,梁瑞琳(Neo Swee Lin)在台上表示,她支持的是爱,因为我们人类都需要爱。"我们出生、入土都是独自一人,在短短的几十年人生,不应该单独一个人过。"


我和一群相信自己,相信自由的朋友,以及多为相信爱的国人,一同度过了u一个开心,有意义的下午。我们带走的,是感动,骄傲,和全新唤醒的爱的理念。


无论Aware风波造成的对同性恋者的敌意,无论法律条规377A是否被撤消,我们要的,不过是一群朋友,一同相信爱的人。


期待在明年参与更大一粒粉红点。为爱,努力!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

:: definitions (by me) ::

Happiness :: Having friends, brothers, mummy, home, dearie.

Lonely :: Not feeling happy.

Trust :: When there is someone I can think of when I am in doubt.

Emo :: Moments when I feel "suddenly lonely". When I get temporarily tempramental.

Very emo :: When I am obviously down but no one notices. I will act unusual, but no one will notice.

Friends :: Very important. I take everyone as friends. But apparently not everyone returns that.

Partner :: Someone I can trust. Alot.

Marriage :: Not really found in my dictionary.

Bonding :: Being by friends side, doing anything (not stupid) together. And everyone else have a chance to hear me.

Isaac :: Someone who has to talk and vent anger. Silent at times, but do pay attention to his hidden emotions. Don't give him his way? He will keep quiet, but beware.. 所谓,福建话说:静狗咬死人。don't corss over the line.

Isaac Lim :: Don't mess with me unnecessarily. Known for being 笑里藏刀。

Isaac Jue Hao :: Friendly guy. If you talk to him, he will soften up and talk crap to you. Not a very tough nut to crack. But first, make the effort.

Me :: Friends are key. Talk is essential. I may be a lame joke person. But, first you need to be friendly with me. When the bottle is opened, I will ensure you don't hear silence.

I :: Quiet person. Lonely. Enjoys loneliness.

我 :: 你不会真正的了解我。我的多层次面纱,只让你抓狂。要小心。要很小心!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

:: i hearts v ::

Dearest vincent ywk!

You will be my bestest bestest friend

ALWAYS

no matter our other relationship status
our friends
our studies
our work
our sexual preference

22 years le
how can you ever doubt it?

and say such dumb things like
"will we still be friends if you have another bf?"
dotz la
we are not mutually exclusive to one another lo
and since you don't believe my words
i must put on my blog
so that everyone may know
and your new baby will not suspect..

i got mine you got yours
we are still friends, buddies, brothers..
OK???? dotz..

:: bonding . 友谊的考验 ::

今天和几位同学朋友外出
由于今天没上课,
约了一同去唱k。
全场下来
突然觉得莫名的孤独
那孤僻,antisocial 的feeling又回来了。
我真的不习惯如此emo的我。
因为那样真的很难受。
或许是因为我早前身体不适,
头有那么一点痛的关系。
但似乎,旁人也没查到什么不对经。
又或许他们还年轻,
无法了解他人。
朋友朋友。到底如何才是朋友?
我似乎已经忘了。
要到已经分开后才珍惜那段友谊吗?

i can't feel our friendship going anywhere further
is it just me or is it true?
我和中学朋友以及当兵队友那种bonding到了那里呢?
or am i just in the wrong clique?
真的希望不是。

i choose to think i am just too stressed
that i'm thinking too wildly.
its tough to blend in
really
not an age matter
just a personal thing.
当时看到的closeness好像lost了。
我的best friend 真的在这当中吗?
我还在等待。

thats the problem with big groups
you will naturally form small fractions
and when there are extraordinary relationships
things change
and as the quiet, queer, oft emo boy i have always been
i easily feel neglected.

how to make me feel loved? i do not know.
i just wait.. for the correct feeling to come.

:: 600 ::

Its been sooo long since my last post!
At least its been freaking long since i wrote a proper post with regards to how i'm doing.. well well..
life has been pretty exciting, but tiring as well.. not sure how some things will turn up as, but there are already some disappointments..

CCA wise, i failed to get ino baracuda batucada, which is quite sad..
magnum force training just started, but its quite straineous, not sure if i can cope..
there's drama but i'm not v keen, mayb i've had quite enuff of it..
and then there's ovb n chinese soc? not v sure though..
but i now wish to concentrate on my studies, really.. even though i said the last time i must jiayou, but week 4 le, i still quite "diao er lang dang".. no good no good!

mayb not having a cca, i can concentrate on my studies, but hor, will b so boring right? hmm..

anyways, in terms of school, i'm really busy le lo..
every week seems so short
with sooooo many projects to do and so many assignments starting to pile up in the back too..
its especially scary!!

my friends are cool though.... and seemingly acceptable to me..
haha..
they are, well, rather innocent people, not yet tainted by the cruelties of this world.
so i can still feel very safe talking to them.. haha!

my other friends wise, well, we had a gathering with the chestnuts last weekend..
which was, what i'll say as zhongguizhongju, ok lo.. but hope the next time we can have more fun,
and make sure every body is HAPPY! as happy as attending my Happy! Party! LOL!

isn't it amazing how life is?
we plan so many things to happen like the way we want it to
but most of them time they fall flat
or an event just goes past and there seems to be things you planned to do but did not accompolish?
i guess that is just life, la.

instead of setting millions of aims,
we should take a step back and look at our life sometimes
is this really the path we want to take?
(no matter big or small decisions)
where should we really rest?
are we doing things on impulse?
where are we heading to?
is this something we will really be happy for?
why are we here?
there are a million of such questions
often left unanswered.

the next time when you meet me
please tell me
that wat we eat or drink or am at is not important
what is more important is that you and me are still good friends
and that we have not "mi shi fang xiang"
we know wat we are doing and are on our way to a blessed life.

it is not easy,
but we need to know if
we are happy.

just like W and I
i feel we are happy
because we can't always be the "perfect" couple.
there are the many imperfections in our relationship which we need to improve
there are the unhappy times that we whish never occured.
there are many things i wish i can tell everyone how much i feel the love.
there has been so many occurings that i dun know which one to share.
the sweet notings
the endless love n sex n kisses
the feeling is deep inside....

just like special friends.
they are always there for you
you know it
and thank god for it.
vinc.. thank you are your mere existance.
we had our "4 years" annivesary for something dumb a few days ago..
it was the day, 4 yrs back,
when i told him about what i really amd and he told me his feelings about tt.
it was farny
no idea why we would commemorate such a day.
now he has someone else he likes, who is soo gdi cute la..(i'm jealous)
i feel happy for him
though deep inside
i feel bad for "converting him" like i always said.
haha. some ppl say, you can't change a person, if he is queer, he IS queer.. well well..

anyway.. so much on my current thoughts and a round up of my messy stage of life now..
i feel really happy though..
there are little percents of unhappiness, grouch, confusion and other terrible feelings
but i shall always try to forget them
and lead a simplistic life and enjoy!
happiness to me and all my friends
and some random ppl who comes to read my blog.

this is my 600th post on Absolutmilo!! WOW!!
to the many 100s more of interesting post to come..
at this place where i share my life, my thoughts, my rants and my creative juices.
happy 600th post!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

:: 手紙 ~拝啓 十五の君へ~ ::

秉持着一个信念,回味着过去,看着自己的人生,若能再来一回,会是一样的吗?


当时的我们,有着怎么样的理想?当时的我,曾经相信什么?或许,一切都变了。现在,我很希望,能说服15岁的我,要开心,要勇敢做自己,不要因为一点小事而放弃。我要对自己说,我要努力,因为,现在的确有点后悔,当时没用工,当时做错了选择。回想起来,从15岁至今,有整9年了。对十六七岁的你们,或许无法体会我的感叹。这9年来,我曾经开心,也痛苦过。青春就如此飞逝,往事就只能回味。我走过的,是一道又一道的门槛,偶尔路过了几个弯角,转进了“冤枉道”,毕竟也作了个蛮大的U转。因为社会和家人给予的压力,选错了路,曾得逼自己相信念理科会有美好的未来。天天挣扎着,怎么都不愿认输。


若能写封信给15岁的我,我会劝请他,要争取快乐。要坚持自己的信念与理想,要为自己的将来做准备,要勇敢说出自己的看法,要好好表达自己,要让自己的个性完整发挥,要努力扩大社交圈子,交越多的朋友。最重要,每天都要过的开心,充实。


其实,我现在就正在尽量弥补这些年来的“过错"。 珍惜这所有的朋友,珍惜这每一天,尽量开心。


听着Angela Aki(安芸圣世美)日语歌曲《手信~给15岁的自己》(アンジエラ。アキ ―てがみ),我感触良多。你们或许在未来的日子,能够更加对这首歌曲与词,有更深的体会与见解。


(这首歌曾是2008年日本NHK红白大赛比赛歌曲,也是2008/09年日本中小学合唱团比赛的指定歌曲。此歌收录于Angela Aki最新专辑Answer里。若喜欢舒服沙发音乐的人,不妨听听。我个人非常喜欢。)


《手纸 ~拝启 十五の君へ~》(敬启,写给十五岁的你)


拝启(敬启)
この手纸読んでいるあなたは(此刻正在阅读这封信的你)
どこで何をしているのだろう(身在何方,在做些什么)
十五の仆には谁にも话せない悩みの种があるのです
(十五岁的我怀揣着无法向任何人述说的烦恼的种子)
未来の自分に宛てて书く手纸なら(倘若是写给未来的自己的信)
きっと素直に打ち明けられるだろう(是否就能将一切诚实地坦露)
今 负けそうで 泣きそうで(此刻,好像就快输掉,好像就快哭出来)
消えてしまいそうな仆は(好像就快要消失的我)
谁の言叶を信じ歩けばいいの?(到底应该相信谁的话向前行才好呢?)
ひとつしかないこの胸が何度もばらばらに割れて(唯一的心无数次变得支离破碎)
苦しい中で今を生きている(无尽的苦痛之中,我仍活在这一刻)
今を生きている(我仍活在这一刻)

拝启(敬启)
ありがとう(谢谢)
十五のあなたに伝えたい事があるのです(我有话要对十五岁的你说)
自分とは何でどこへ向かうべきか(到底自己为什么一定要向着某个目的地前行)
问い続ければ见えてくる(只要不停的问终能看到答案的)
荒れた青春の海は厳しいけれど(狂风巨浪的青春之海虽然很艰难)
明日の岸辺へと 梦の舟よ进め(但是请将梦想的小舟驶向明天的岸边)
今 负けないで 泣かないで(此刻,好像就快输掉,好像就快哭出来)
消えてしまいそうな时は(好像就快要消失的时候)
自分の声を信じ歩けばいいの(只要相信自己的声音前行就可以了)
大人の仆も伤ついて(即使是已成为大人的我)
眠れない夜はあるけど(也还是会受伤会有睡不着的夜晚)
苦くて甘い今を生きている(但是,我仍活在苦涩而又甜蜜的这一刻)
人生の全てに意味があるから Woo...(人生的一切都是有意义的,喔喔...)
恐れずにあなたの梦を育てて(所以请不要畏惧去栽培你的梦想吧)

La la la la la la Keep on believing
La la la la la la Keep on believing Keep on believing Keep on believing...

负けそうで 泣きそうで(好像就快输掉,好像就快哭出来)
消えてしまいそうな仆は(好像就快要消失的我)
谁の言叶を信じ歩けばいいの?(到底应该相信谁的话向前行才好呢?)
ああ 负けないで 泣かないで(啊!好像就快输掉,好像就快哭出来)
消えてしまいそうな时は(好像就快要消失的时候)
自分の声を信じ歩けばいいの(只要相信自己的声音前行就可以了)
いつの时代も悲しみを避けては通れないけれど(无论是哪个时代悲伤总是不可避免的)
笑颜を见せて 今を生きていこう(但是请,展露你的笑颜,活在这一刻)
今を生きていこう(活在这一刻)

拝启(敬启)
この手纸読んでいるあなたが(衷心祝愿,现在正在读这封信的你)
幸せな事を愿います(能够幸福)

:: 法克这个人 ::

近在逛CD店时,留意到了这张专辑。
专辑封面就把“法克”这两个字放得超大。
这是台湾新人萧闳仁的第二张个人创作专辑。
或许对很多人来说,萧闳仁是个陌生的名字。
但我本身早已在他发第一张专辑时就已经留意到这位“音乐新鬼才”了。
可惜的是,他在台湾以外都没什么运气,专辑更是叫好却不叫座。
长相没什么特别的他,样子的辨识度就被大打折扣了。
刚好他出道发片期,又和另一群音乐天才如怪咖卢广众和萧敬腾等碰上,
公司宣传不足,害了他。
但这第二张专辑《法》却惹来了不少是非。
虽然音乐创作水准有维持在相当高的水平,
也受到“圈内人”相当大的肯定,
然而,较有争议性的专辑名称使这专辑受到了限制。
首先,许多电台,也就是音乐专辑最主要的宣传管道,
被禁播专辑中的原本主打,同名歌曲《法克那个人》。
虽然顶上了另一首主打《爱的黑狗兄》,
也的到不少电台音乐总监的推荐,
但由于DJ们都无法念出专辑名称,
而无法“宣传”专辑。
所以,到底如此带有争议性的专辑名称,
到底是帮了他,还是害了他呢?
我任为是有帮也有害,真正的结论,
还是要看庞大的中文音乐市场如何反应。
以一个青少年的关店来看,我会因为歌曲好听而去买。
我也会因为好奇《法克这个人》真正的意思而去听。
根据最新台湾g-music风云榜来看,
专辑销量过了五个星期却只在二十大徘徊,
的确会让歌手担心。或许是时候到东南亚来做宣传了吧。
《法克这个人》其实是个虚拟的人物,
是说两个朋友马克和法克的故事。
我觉得可爱的是,
首批专辑附送了印有“法克”字眼的“机车口罩”。
是超可爱的。
换另外一个角度来看,
这也教我们不应该单平一个主题或名称去下定论。
这张专辑,一点也不粗俗,蛮好听的。
俗话说:坏的宣传总好过没有任何宣传(自编的)。
希望大家能尝试去听听杰出音乐人的努力。
那你对《法克这个人》,又有何看法?
会对萧闳仁感兴趣,去听他的歌吗?
还是认为这是个低俗的文字游戏,而“抛弃”好音乐呢?

Saturday, May 2, 2009

:: 你Aware吗?::

新加坡女性权利与行动小组(Aware)今天在新加坡402展厅举行的特殊常年会议(extraordinary general meeting ) ,或许是新加坡由史以来最轰动,混乱的私人组织“暴动”。

Aware自三月份的常年会议至今,一直受到大家的关注。从聘用DBS信用卡部门副总裁Josie Lau为新管委会主席,到近日掀起的宗教纷争,同性恋者歧视性教育课程纠纷,都是因为“女性权利领导者”(feminist mentor) Thio Siu Mien 引领的。由于故事太长,我也就不在去解说,相信同学们比我更了解。

如今,Aware“两大派”的纷争主要是在于Aware启蒙成员(old guard)对新加入的成员和新的执委会感到不满,认为他们有着私下的反抗议题为主加入Aware。而新执委(new guard) 则坚持自己的信念,希望能够一改Aware近年来的“过错”。这批新执委其中有多人是亲戚,也是在Aware常年选举之前几个星期才加入的成员。他们其中也有多数是来自同一所教会,位于马格列通道的救主之堂(church of our saviour)。

前几天,该教会的主牧师更是表示有在教会的网站以及祷告会中要求会员到今天的大会为“姐妹们”加持。过后,该牧师更是为言行举止深感歉意。毕竟新加坡是个多元种族,文化与信仰的国家,我们不应该把个人理念强迫大人认同,更不应该硬逼他人接受自己信仰的教法。

近日的会议至今也得到了明显的结论,虽其中的Drama的确有点过火。

(最新消息:不信任新执委会投票结果:New guard (红衫军)761票,Old Guard (白衫军)1414票)

会议上全程乱一通,明显表示对红衫军的不满。其中NMP Siew Kum Hong 更是扮演着相当重要的角色。他虽然是男性,无法参与投票,但却到场为白衫军加持,更为广大民众申冤。现在,虽投票结果已经呈现在眼前了,但Josie与伙伴却坚持不肯歇下职位,明显表现出非常霸道的行为。(不信任票其实并不表示他们失去委员职位,但已失去大家的支持,应该“自动一点”)

红衫军如此不干脆,不直接,做事鬼鬼祟祟,不透明,真的是相当卑鄙。为女性争取权利还是为自己的信念与信仰牟利?只有他们自己知道。如果真的是不满之前Aware的企划与行为,他们应该做的,是自己开设另一个行动小组,而不是这样一低下的手法得到权利,霸占他人的组织。

这整件事今后又会演变到什么地步,无人知道。但人人都持有己健,应该做的是互相包容,使这国家繁荣。继续纠缠也是没有用的。

但我自己留意了这件事哪么久,只能说,我相信这不是终点。Drama相信会在接下来几天继续越演越烈。不知大家对Aware事件持有什么看法,这是个小组内的争论,还是同性恋者与“家庭概念”的冲突,或是有着宗教信仰的敏感争议呢?

(其实要说的还很多,故事还很长,但打到手累了,就在此结笔。对我来说,投票过后,我赢了。爱,不分你我,sorry to the Thios, *Boo*!)

*整段post是在会议举行的最后几个小时内写的,本作者心情混乱,若有得罪任何人,请多包容。文章纯属作者个人意见与主张,如有雷同,纯粹巧合。*


*********************************************************************

on a sideline, do check out the full details of the EGM today from..

Wayang Party
cruz teng 丁志勇
The Online Citizen

oh ya, and remember to get a Shut up and Sit Down tee shirt!!

:: 2 weeks ::

it has been two whole weeks since school has officially started
and i've not kept to my promise much..
my promise to myself to join a sports group with my beloved "dragonboat"
or canoeing.. nope.. did not manage to officially join
because i had other duties/ccas and could not attend their first/second training sessions..
so..
case closed..
i might take up a music instrument for the first time in my life
if my batucada interview n audition went well.. *prays*
then again
the next week (week 3) will have interview/training sessions/audition
for my 2nd most want to join activity currently
Magnum Force.. (noting to do with the ice cream, its a cheerleading team.)
can be considered a sport
not sure about how its training is though..
but should be cool.. LOL..
if i get both, then i'll consider really hard which one i want to join..
NRA (new revolving age)
the NP's hip hop club is also having auditions next week
reallyu contemplating if i should go
coz my passion has wained a little
and they "extort" money by demanding for a $5 admin audition fee
how stupid right? even ntu MJ don't do tt la!
so.. i tt i'm still considering..
this week has been relatively slack
though most of the on going projects have started le!
there's photography illustrator blog writing info collection....
all to be done on a continuous effort..
busy busy..
and tts the problem..
i vowed to start being hard working from day 1
but i've not exactly "started yet".. damn!
i shall start this weekend..
play around with my computer
and keep generating fresh ideas and thoughts..
read the chinese dailies and improve myself!
on the other hand..
i attended NP's english drama club as well
and its just like a secondary school drama club
with a director and all
what makes me feel uncomfy is tt most people speak in english n am
highly ang mo..
and many of them are from mass comm.. roar..
could have gotten in to the supposedly "hip" course
but i chose not to coz they are too stuck up
unlike me, so friendly.. LOL!
well..
i shall start working hard from tomorrow..
i shall wake up from my dream
pursue good grades
pursue the great skills in different technical aspects
pursue a fun and great cca which i will enjoy
and hopefully get the experience and exposure
hopefully can loose weight
and have fun!
well well..
jiayou, isaac!

Friday, May 1, 2009

:: colours ::

i wrote the below essay in class when i felt it was boring and i couldn't wait to finish it and go off.. Haha.. It was based on a photograph (black n white), of a couple walking along a train track, with the girl trying to balance and the guy holding her.

rather unexpectedly, the short essay which i didn't put any effort in turned out to be pretty well received and won "rave reviews" amongst my friends. LOL!

by the way, now is no longer like the past when my essay was the best (like during JC or sec sch) when the others in class had mediocre chinese standard, my classmates now are all chinese pro, with majority being form higher chinese and excelling them.. I tried my chinese twice la, for both AO and O levels, and both time yield A2 only lo.. Not even a A1!!! roar!!

well, let u read my 简短,扼要,精彩,富有画面感的文章。LOL!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

扶持着他的手,感觉到无私的安全感。他手的温暖,保护着我,让我坚强,勇敢。
那天,我们俩走在铁车轨道,快乐的分享我们这些日子以来,欢乐的时光,曾经度过的美好日子,回忆涌入脑海中。当时,我感受到的,是无限的幸福,因为我想,我找到了人生的幸福伴侣,似乎看到了我们的未来。能够一同在如此诗情画意的空间,度过我们的一周年纪念,真的,满足了。
我来自单亲家庭,更是家中的独生子,从小就没感受到太多的亲情。自认长相不太养眼,一直以来都不善于表达自己,因而朋友不多,要找个男朋友,更是天大的难事。
一次在朋友的聚会,偶然碰到了他,因为同样喜欢看动漫,而成为了好友。感情慢慢发展,延续。
如今,我们在一起已经一年了。我们走过的,是风风雨雨,一道想当漫长,弯曲的路。彼此扶持着,秉持着共同的一份坚持。 爱,就是着样散播开来的。
看着他的眼,黑白的眼,我却仿佛置身在七彩的世界。曾经的彷徨与无助,现在有人分享。
有了他,我看见了未来。 和他在一起,我看见了彩虹,活着的精彩。
and now for the teacher's comment..

Y*** Chen said…
故事完整,也很感性,文采佳。
WOW! 真是让人拍案叫绝!!!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

:: no more heartaches ::

We had a little argument which turned sour
And then a rather quiet evening.
There were mentions of break up
Or some time to cool off and rethink
Probably, just probably,
We might be better of as brothers
Who still shared the love n concern for each other
Leading me to think we seperated
That I was once again, alone, single.

After thoughts for a whole night
I felt bad, really upset
I hated the feeling of being lonely
N needed emotional comfort, somewhere.
I called him up,
Reluctantly
Hopefully we can forget about yesterday,
And be "together" again.
Just my stupid innocent thoughts
Of juvenile relationships
Where one breaks n patch again..

W picked up the phone.
And went, "morning sleepy dearie"
I flabbergastedly replied "who u calling "dearie""
"why? Wat happened boy?"
"oh, so it was just me who was an idiot to believe the words you said yesterday."

Yes, it really was.
So it wasn't any break ups
And hopefully never will b
Difference can be solved
And we will walk through it, together.
Love will always b strong
And the feeling will never fade
Maybe, just maybe, because we have grown to need each other.
And have already grown to rely on each other on many things.
The dependency..

:: boo junfeng ::

Boo Junfeng

this is a talent..
he is uber cute to begin with
and has unique thoughts..

my newest ou xiang..
watched his new short film yesterday
Tanjong Rhu (the casuarina cove)
it was about the 1993 police entrapment at the once popular gay cruising spot
where 12 men were arrested one night
when undercover was there to trap these gay men
and thereafter charging them with outrage of modesty.
it was the last known entrapment exercise
and was deemed by the High Court after rounds of appeal
that this was a highly uncivilised action taken by the police.
more importantly
it was hearfelt, poignant, and it was not overtly explicit like many
pink related movies
it was also not overtly "activist" style..
the short film conveyed to us that the pink community can be all around us
be it our brother, friend, officer in military, neighbour...
like your nice and friendly boy next door here.. LOL..
and we have more than ever, merged them into life
and the "lifestyle" we've chosen doesn't have an impact on others directly,
really..

now back to Junfeng, my ou xiang..
haha.. his story creation is superb, the angle which he looks at the stories
are just so unique and fascinating
i really hope to be a film director/writer/creator like him la!

read more about him..

Boo Junfeng was born on 4th December 1983 in Singapore. He first attended film school at the age of 16 at Ngee Ann Polytechnic, Singapore. During his course of study, he went on an exchange programme at the Escola Superior de Cinema i Audiovisuals de Catalunya (ESCAC) in Barcelona, Spain, where he wrote and directed his first short film UN RETRATO DE FAMILIA (2004). The short won the Best Film and Special Achievement awards at the Singapore International Film Festival (SIFF) in 2005.

In late 2005, he attended the Asian Film Academy at the Pusan International Film Festival in Korea. This inaugural session of the programme was headed by esteemed Taiwanese director, Hou Hsiao Hsien.

After two years of mandatory military service, he made the short films KATONG FUGUE (2007) and KELUAR BARIS (2008). The former, a film adaptation of a play, won the Special Jury Prize at the SIFF in 2007; and the latter, a semi-autobiographical take on a boy’s experience of being conscripted, took home the Best Film, Best Director and Best Cinematography awards at the SIFF in 2008.During this period, he also directed a segment in LUCKY 7 (2008), an experimental feature film aimed at promoting collaboration among filmmakers in Singapore.

Between 2007 and 2008, he continued his film education at The Puttnam School of Film at LASALLE College of the Arts, where he graduated with the valedictorian honour, the McNally Award for Excellence in the Arts. His thesis film, TANJONG RHU (2009), is featured at the Panorama section of the 59th Berlin Film Festival.

He is currently working on his full-length feature debut with Zhao Wei Films, a production company helmed by acclaimed Singaporean director-producer Eric Khoo. The film project – SANDCASTLE – was selected at the Pusan Promotion Plan in 2008 and is slated for production in mid-2009.

It was interesting during the post show dialogue
(the film was shown as part of Singapore Panorama Shorts 1
as part of Singapore International Film Festival)
that Junfeng mentioned that he was not an activist and never wanted to be
neither was he trying..
and that although viewers thought Tanjong Rhu and Keluar Baris had parralels..
he said he didn't see it that way and was trying to do straight films.. Haha.


by the way he is really supportive of Pink Dot
which I am too..
so for all my friends who are in the pink community or supportive of the pink community
do join us at pink dot event on 16th May at Hong Lim Park..
where we can all gather and have an aerial view picture taken
to commemorate our unique community
in pink clothes, and with pink umbrellas n balloons..
and when we do it in future years
we can see the pink dot growing..!!

:: (i hope i can) cancel my DBS cards ::

A very interesting "thing" came up
with regards the ongoing AWARE saga
this guy apparently came up with a good idea
that all those who disapproves AWARE's new guard to just cancel your DBS cards
as a form of rebuttal against Josie Lau and the Thios
instead of just sending hate mails in the forms of death threats
(which might in any case get you into trouble with the law if not careful)

Its been a roller coaster ride for the group i suppose
and more than ever (no pun on NP watsoever)
its positive impact on AWARE.
their membership doubled suddenly
and they've got the publicity
(as they say no publicity is bad publicity.. haha)

The indignant pink gay and lesbian community has been once again catapulted itself
and suddenly,
the "bonding" of the gays and lesbians have arose once again
(the last time was thanks to the junior Thio)

well well..
the Thios definitely know how to attract attention
first with their unique surname
(anyone else with the surname should feel pretty disgraced)
and then their "pro-family" stand

on a side note
W n me have always been pro famiy
be it our family or the family we might have in the future.. LOL
(though its over, for now...)

back to the AWARE case
i hope it will be resolved and tt my pink friends will not be so
aggravated by it anymore
i sincerely hope the eogm next week will run smoothly
and an amicable result obtained
(my stand? erm, topple the new exco and form a newer exco?)

its turned pretty ugly because the controversy is just bad
i would say the media has been painting pretty ugly pictures of the old guard at the start
but now
i see the balance
both sides are ugly in their own ways
but with more understanding
we all have our sides to stand on, i hope..

we shall see what happens..

But to ask me cancel my DBS card?
dun want la..
its already a important part of my social life
Hahaha..
oh ya, why wasn't Josie Lau sacked huh?
then they can anyhow sack some poor staff at the AWARE centre for some minor things..
these new guards very bu jiang li hor..
tsk tsk...

Saturday, April 25, 2009

:: release ::

It was mutual.
We both felt I needed space.
I needed space for growth,
I needed to develop myself.
I needed to understand myself more,
As a gay boy in Singapore.
I had to develop my own stance.
I need to know what a relationship meant.
I needed to know my own life, with my parent n friends.
I can't live n change myself.
Love n monogamy needs to be understood.
He can't be the dictator of my life, yet.
So I should stand on my own,
And feel what it was I really want.

Is it really him or was it someone else?
There's too much doubts we had to clear.
Before we really understand Happiness.

Love is a jigsaw puzzle
It needs to b a perfect fit.

Friday, April 24, 2009

:: 志同道合 ::

It's been a week since I started lessons at NP.
And it's been a hell of a week.
I've made new friends. Many many.
And tried many foods around school.
Talked all sorts of rubbish.
And experienced interesting n horrid lecturers.
I took part in a dance competition, performing an Indian song.
And got myself involved in a myriad of CCAs.
Magnum force, stage factor, batucada, new revolving age, ambassador, our voice box, canoe polo..
Not sure which one I'll stick to though..

Friends had been a major factor.
Especially a group of close friends.
Because in uni, I stuck close to my army friends n even epiphany friends, we onli met once awhile.
The close close bonding was just missing.
Glad now to have made instant friendship
With this group of great peeps..
Hao Jie, mabel, Jing yi, serene, jolene..
Playing dumb games n lunching together.
N even going out to orchard together on week one.
Haha.
Didn't expect such close bonding with ppl 6 years my junior actually.
Bit really glad.
Hope to get to know u all deeper,As well as let u all know me better.
Hope u won't b scared of me
N we can b great friends for the next three years.
LOL.

It feels great!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

:: mrisaaclim ::

after some brouhaha..
my livejournal is once again up, alive and kicking..
do go over to look at photos and random updates..
both blog will be regularly updated, one more personal..
check it out..

mrisaaclim at livejournal

Friday, April 17, 2009

:: 始终 ::

最终还是离不开这个部落格。
或许是因为
太过于习惯这里了。
或者是因为怕搬了家后
却没人到新家去拜访。。 顾虑太多了。
可能。。 可能是放不下absolutmilo这个“品牌”
怎么说,也与我度过了多么多的欢乐与悲伤
进入了一段感情,然后也走出了。
同样的,与我庆祝了三个生日
是我成年的最好纪念。

我将走进人生中的另一个阶段。
或许对一些人来说,
是个转捩点。
有的人当成一个愚蠢的行为。
对我来说 开心就好。真的
这不是退后
是勇敢的向梦想前进。
我同意,在这个年龄才报读理工学院,
尤其是当我已经经过了大学课程的洗礼后
看似是一大“退步”
但试想想
如果按部就班
我真的能快乐的当工程师吗?
到目前为止
知道我决定的朋友们
都相当的鼓励我的选择
至于他们是否在我身后嘲讽我的愚蠢
或是真心祝福
我不知道
只能默默的接受“祝福”
快乐追逐我的理想
当个媒体从业员。
在未来的日子
一切都是个未知数。
希望一切安好。
在义安理工学院的未来日子
我希望我能达到一些目标
不要轻言放弃,否则对不起自己。
让我先在这里立下目标。。
1)踊跃参与课外活动,尤其是个运动项目。身体健康已“堕落”了多时,
是时间照顾一下了。我真的希望有机会瘦下来。在这途中,将会有一些挑战,但希望我会撑到底,不要放弃!
2)真心交友。别让自尊与自私独霸。
在南大的日子,我成多时“孤僻”,不善于沟通,做出了自私的行为,把自己与他人分离,封闭。现在想起,觉得愧疚,后悔。我希望i'lldevote my time and effort to each project I take up and complete them well. I shall not let myself down again in such a way and at the same time letting the team down. I shall change.
3)努力读书。这一点,不用再多说了。一次又一次的教训都不曾听从,
现在,希望是真的后悔了。尤其是南大的教训。
人已不年轻了。是时候认真想想了。机会真的不多了。
唯有能努力,努力,在努力。
只能得最好。
4)活得精彩。把握美一个机会表现自己。把自己最好的一面展现出来。
开心完成每一个计划,一刻都不要浪费。
努力。放飞。追求人生的美丽,精彩。
i'm currently facing some problems my lj.app on my iphone
coz i can't seem to log in and post on my mrisaaclim.livejournal.com
through my iphone
am trying to do someting about it..
rest assured.. it WILL be my 2nd home
and will be posting MANY pcitures as much as possible
so go there for my photo log.. using some photos
to share my life with you all.
see you all,
friends
new or old...
update: (18/04/09) i've moved the blog to wordpress, with same title..

Sunday, April 12, 2009

:: 2nd home ::

With age
a person change.

absolutmilo.blogspot.com

it will be a site with few updates

more on my life
on a real Isaac

the new Isaac.

see you again, soon.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

:: suddenly ::

I dream, suddenly.
That W is not the W I know.
That my friends are all new and unfamiliar.
That I am young again.
That I was madly in love with this guy I met for the first time.
That I was a sports person playing a few sports.
That I was a great student awaiting to enter uni.
That I was soon going to be a radio presenter.


Soooo many dreams. It may be scary to think of it now.. But I think I secretly hope that most of them will some real.

(really, I had a dream and all the above happened.. Especially the part I was introduced to W, he had another Chinese name different from the one I know, I just can't remember wat it was in my dream.. Weird.. And tt someone whom I wanted to date and became my partner, all in the dream,, it was a looong long dream.. Yeah..)

Friday, April 10, 2009

::華人。華語。華文::

since i got a place in NP Chinese Media and Communication
i have been feeling the urge to brush up on my mandarin and chinese
especially since i realise that most of the time when we talk and read
it is in english..
we often forget that we actually use mandarin unknowingly
but think that we normally only use English.

we only remember that we read the newspapers, blogs, internet articles, googles,
facebook, twitters and play games in English,
but we listen more to 933, watch channel 8/U/taiwan shows in mandarin/chinese.

what comes to my attention more is the fact that actually
the worrying thing to me is not speaking or listening to mandarin/chinese
but reading and writing chinese
because this will be a quintessential part of my next three years
(not forgetting working in a chinese media environment and living in china for up to a sem)

hearing and comprehending wat others say in chinese is not so much a problem
but reading and especially writing
i initially wanted to write this blog entry in Chinese using pinyin
but i realise i'm not very good at that because i grew up with using chinese in handwriting only
not on computers.. (even my days at fridayweekly, i was super slow always on the comp la!)
so now
i seriously need to brush up my chinese
and know the cuo bie zi(s)
and knwo which are the correct form of writing
and write in proper characters.
because i've not touched chinese officially for at least 5 years (after J1)
so it might be a challenge..
i don't want to lose to these kids who have been studying chinese for the past 10 years (pri+sec)
and i know i've bteer knowledge in the language

i super don't want to be laughed at with my poor command of the language
or for the lecturers to laugh at mefor cuo bie zi.

I know i used to give chinese tuition
but i guess i need chinese tuition now..
pass me the i-weekly/zaobao.. i shall start writing essays to zaobao again! Haha!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

:: danny yeo ::

Not sure if many of u know Danny Yeo Chin Wei. Better known as 杨君伟.

A former YES 933 and ufm 1003 DJ, he currently blogs on omy.com and teaches at ngee ann poly.

He was a great dj. He speaks with knowledge and character. He is in a class of his own, a fantastic DJ, really. 很有深度,内涵,品味,态度的绅士。

He really is my 偶像! Super idolize him la. Registered for this course of Chinese media n communication partially because he's teaching (and also for my passion in Chinese AND mass comm).

I took a look at the unconfirmed timetable just released and yay, he will be teaching me Speech and Presentation Skills on Tuesdays from 2 to 6pm.. Haha..

Hope tt tt is true. Can't wait to attend his lessons. Bet it will b fun! Cool 毙了!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

:: 叶子 * 怀念阿桑 ::

yesterday, Taiwanese singer A-Sang (original name: 黄嬿璘),
silently left us. At age 34, the power vocalist known for her sultry voice, and bringing to life
the theme song of 《蔷薇之恋》 《叶子》 .
She was diagnosed with breast cancer in the preceding years,
and quietly left the entertainment business to proceed with treatment.
The low profile singer did not even contact her relatives and management company in recent times, and it was only when news about her passing that everyone got a shock.
Though not an extremely popular singer,
but several of her songs were a hit within the mandarin music market.
The more memorable songs, other than 《叶子》, included
Her sultry voice bring so much emotions to the songs
its hard not to feel it and now
cry along to the tunes.
Let us now pay a tribute to this outstanding songstress
who brought us classics
as well as reminding us how frail life is.
A sang - wishing you a peaceful journey to a happier world.

姓名:阿桑 / Judy / 黄嬿璘性别:
职业:歌手 星座:双鱼座 血型:O 身高:156cm
阿桑是华研国际音乐继成功打造第一偶像团体S.H.E与R&B小王子张智成之后,
在2003年推出的是声音非常具有特色的女歌手。
藉由一出偶像剧《蔷薇之恋》的成功,
主唱片尾曲《叶子》的阿桑,
在个人专辑发片前即享受比一般新人更高的知名度,
后援会早早成立,到校园演唱更是广受学生热情欢迎,
丝毫不逊其它已成名的歌手,殊不知这些掌声与赞美对阿桑来说,
已迟来了四年,看到今天小小的成功起步,
对照其传奇性的经历与坎坷的歌坛美梦,
难怪阿桑会频频感慨落泪。在新专辑中,
阿桑为了配合春天脚步逼近,这次造型变得更为柔美,
尽现阿桑的女人味。在主打歌“寂寞在唱歌”中,
阿桑试图唱出都会男女心里潜藏的寂寞,
即使再幸福的人也有被寂寞感侵蚀的时候。
而“一直很安静”一曲亦同时收录于
《仙剑奇侠传》电视原声带内。
<<叶子>>
叶子是不会飞翔的翅膀 翅膀是落在天上的叶子
天堂原来应该不是妄想 只是我早已经遗忘 当初怎么开始飞翔
孤单是一个人的狂欢 狂欢是一群人的孤单
爱情原来的开始是陪伴 但我也渐渐地遗忘 当时是怎样有人陪伴
我一个人吃饭旅行(到处)走走停停 也一个人看书写信自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里 就连自己看也看不清 我想我不仅仅是失去你
我一个人吃饭旅行(到处)走走停停 也一个人看书写信自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里 就连自己看也看不清 我想我不仅仅是失去你
孤单是一个人的狂欢 狂欢是一群人的孤单
爱情原来的开始是陪伴 但我也渐渐地遗忘 当时是怎样有人陪伴
我一个人吃饭旅行(到处)走走停停 也一个人看书写信自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里 就连自己看也看不清 我想我不仅仅是失去你
我一个人吃饭旅行(到处)走走停停 也一个人看书写信自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里 就连自己看也看不清 我想我不仅仅是失去
你叶子是不会飞翔的翅膀翅膀是落在天上的叶子
<<一直很安静>>
空荡的街景 想找个人放感情
做这种决定 是寂寞与我为邻
我们的爱情 像你路过的风景
一直在进行 脚步却从来不会为我而停
给你的爱一直很安静 来交换你偶尔给的关心
明明是三个人的电影 我却始终不能有姓名
你说爱像云 要自在飘浮才美丽
我终於相信 分手的理由时候很动听
给你的爱一直很安静 来交换你偶尔给的关心
明明是三个人的电影 我却始终不能有姓名
给你的爱一直很安静 我从一开始就下定决心
以为自己要的是曾经 却发现爱一定要有回音
给你的爱一直很安静 来交换你偶尔给的关心
明明是三个人的电影 我却始终不能有姓名
给你的爱一直很安静 除了泪在我的脸上任性
原来缘份是用来说明 你突然不爱我这件事情
给一个人的爱不要一直很安静,要勇敢对她说!
<<受了点伤>>
my love,晚安 就别再为难 别管我会受伤
想开体谅 我已经习惯 不然又能怎样?
这个城市太会说谎 爱情只是昂贵的橱窗
沿路华丽灿烂陈列甜美幻象 谁当真谁就上当
竟然以为你会不一样 但凭什么你要不一样
因为寂寞太冷 虚构出的温暖 没理由能撑到天亮
前进转弯我跌跌撞撞 在这迷宫打转死心失望
会比较简单却又心有不甘
这个城市太会伪装 爱情就像霓虹灯
一样谁离开之后却把灯忘了关 让梦作得太辉煌
以为能够留你在身旁 但是谁肯留在谁身旁
一首情歌都比一个亲吻更长 这就叫做好聚好散
别说你对我感到愧疚 别说你会永远想念我
我很知道孤单这条路怎么走 请你不要安慰我
my love,晚安 别放在心上
我只受了点伤 只是受了点伤
We must live life, happily...
Thank you A-sang for the great songs.
May you rest in peace.

:: The Happy! Party Thanks You! ::

Hey Happy! Friend!!!!

Once again, Thank You! For being part of my 23rd Birthday Party, the Happy party. In the midst of the rush rush 4 hours, I missed many opportunities to take much more photographs (Haha) and to make relevant speeches to thank my revered friends and sponsors.

The Happy! Party was the third party, as part of the Pure&Sexy Party series. Thank you to my old friends who have been to all three parties, and hope those who joined me for the first time enjoyed it as well! This year’s event was part of the ongoing Pink month, organised by 5-Degrees Network. It supports GLTB businesses in Singapore. Thank you 5-Degrees and its founder, Mr Willie Chan, for your staunch support for the event and generous sponsorship.

The birthday caps, as well as birthday presents for the other Birthday boy and girl was sponsored by 5-Degrees. Best dressed prizes for the attendees were especially provided by Urban Concepts Connections, which can be found at Cineleisure Orchard. The snack pack in the brown bags were provided by Canteen@P, a snack and drinks corner located at Tanjong Pagar Road, next to Play Club. Party Treats folders and the many items inside were mostly had made and designed by me and my friends Vincent Yeo and Melvin Lum, thank them for helping with the crafts, as well as 5-Degrees for the fund to purchase the materials. The handmade sweets from Sticky can be found at their shop at Central. Thanks to Sticky for the partial sponsorship of the sweets, as well as Marsh (found at Duxton Road) for the bottles. Book prizes for birthday babies were brought to you by Books Actually (on Ann Siang Hill). THANK YOU ALL who helped in a way or another! Thank for the generosity!

I also like to thank each and everyone for your attendance. To my Epiphany Friends, Dianne (and Kenneth), Cassandra, Shimin, Meryl, Michelle and Joseph. Thank you all for the memories and friendship in the past year. Great fun knowing you all! Hope you all had fun!

To Weilun and ChinHuat, thank you bros! See you all sooooon!

To 3238 people (the badminton clique!),Weizhi, Anderson, Ronnie, Roger, Sir Seng and Eugene, thank you all for being a pillar of support in the past years, especially the past year where I underwent a “turmoil”. Haha. You peeps are great people and hope this close knit friendship will last.. Thank you for being here.

To my Chestnuts, Julia, Jian Rong, Cheng Yee, Darius, Guan Yi, Hui Ting, Eunice, Zhiwei, Jonathan and Zhen Hui. You guys ROCK. Thank you thank you thank you! Thanks for being such great friends all these years and looking forward to many more meet ups which are going to be much more fun!

Thank you, and to all those who have exams around the corner, I wish you all the best. Hope to see you all soon!

Lots of Love, Hugs and Kisses,

Isaac [Happy! Boy]

P.S.: Do find selected pictures which you can use in the Happy! Poster or the Happy! Photo frame! in your postal mailbox within the next few days. There’s also door gift vouchers which I missed distributing that evening. Enjoy!

Monday, April 6, 2009

:: The Happy! Party 2009 ::

a rainbow birthday!


Jon . Zac . Ju
Bday babies for April..

I am really Happy its over!
A BIG Thank You to all my friends who took the time out
to accompany me for the one evening
It was fun for me! Was really happy with the chit chats
wild games, food and photo takings...
thanks for the wonderful gifts as well
really.. your presence was what made my day complete!

I promise myself
i shall keep celebrating my birthday each year
plan for them myself with my friends.
however
from now.. i will no longer have such big parties
coz i tink too big v hard to connect to everyone..
but i will still have the parties.. no worries..
in fact..
i've somehow have plans for next year's party le!
Yup.. at least 2 different events for 2 groups le..
more atas than ever..
the BEST way to thank all my friends!!! YOU!!

i have loads to say, but for now..
i shall let the pictures do the talking.. look at these!!

3238/NTU/Badminton group..
ss.eugene.ron.roger.weizhi.andy.zac
the chestnuts
zhiwei.eunice.zhenhui.yihao.jianrong.julia.zac.darius.chengyee.huiting.guanyi

wat's left of my pj clan..
weilun.zac.chinhuatntu epiphany08/09 . revelations rock
zac.joseph.kenneth.meryl.michelle.cassandra.dianne.shimin
epiphany best dresses . michelle fun who stays on happy avenue!
3238 best dressed . ker hang



More pictures all uploaded on Facebook..
look out in your postal mailbox for more surprises!!
see u all sooooon!!!

:: Its gonna be a HOT WINTER! 热冬 ::

Why should gyms be the only place be a "mating place" for many of US?
Haha.. I love gyms too.. Nice place to ogle.. Muahaha..
Its really no wonder Jolin's new song is SOOO targetted at queers! So many songs are suited for us la.. gyms.. no boyfriend only real man.. evolve into butterfly.. love like parachute.. u happy me internally injured.. soooo many..

anyways.. here's the lyrics for 热冬..

**********************************************************

气候暖化我的心却在冬眠 桃花少到比北极熊还可怜
周末夜也没有半通手机来电 跑步机前才找到养眼画面

不必再control 不必ㄍㄧㄣ爱错回收 看对眼直接行动 这一季将是热冬

当对的你出现会有暖化感觉 在雪花消失前只想和你热恋
热情的拥抱冰山也会溶解 当爱点燃整个冬天

it's gonna be a hot winter a hot hot winter hot winter a hot hot gonna be a
hot winter a hot hot winter hot hot hot hot ...

地球暖化前要去不丹花园 别想南极企鹅孤单在冰原
健身房不该变成相亲地点 满身大汗哪还有浪漫空间

:: 花蝴蝶 ::

I am like a butterfly
only want to be pretty
I have evolved
and am still constantly
evolving....

*************************************************************************
花蝴蝶 歌手:蔡依林

环游了世界全世界
却发现美丽没有旗舰店
谁穿着钉鞋不肯变
停止了自转变成一个茧
你我都希望特别
又不敢太过于特别 yeah
流行是一种安全
搔着闷骚的太阳穴

你是花花世界里限量版的花花蝴蝶
美女们只是比较豁出去比较敢一点
花蝴蝶的美的艳的炫若没三审定谳
那些路人甲们凭什么发言惹人讨厌

快离开冬眠赶快破茧
别被无聊困在地球表面
想灵魂出窍甩平凡嘴脸
就自创品牌靠自己变脸
当你不刻意特别
突然就会变得特别 yeah
只要别越描越黑
你的眼睛就会放电

你可以瞬间飞去东京巴黎米兰纽约
别让别人嘴里的形容词左右你视野
如果有人的魅力足够为这世纪代言
那是她敢站出来变成蝴蝶飞舞翩翩

那些路人甲们凭什么发言惹人讨厌(准备惊艳)
你可以身穿花花限量的花蝴蝶
你可以比你想象中再爱炫再敢一点
你可以自己决定没得最后三审定谳
你可以让路人甲闭嘴惊艳

Thursday, April 2, 2009

:: 妥协 ::

你 总爱编织谎言 我 负责配合表演
所有改变 只为了进入 你的世界
这情节 重复了一百遍
才发现 是你的心太野

你 画定楚河汉界 我 不能轻犯规
所有时间 都是先给了 你优先权
不自觉 爱到不敢冒险 成了你的傀儡
一年 两年 才看见 我有多狼狈

爱到妥协 到头来还是无解
历史不断重演 我好累
爱到妥协 也无法将故事再重写
你已下最后通牒 我躲在我的 世界

你只是害怕一个人睡
我不想再为你掉泪
我了解 不会变 不再徘徊
开始自己的明天

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

:: 5 Ms ::

Me a little sotong la..
Just learnt of this, which I tink is quite farny..

The 5 Ms of Mat Rokers..

Minah . Marlboro . Motosikal . Metal . Maintain Balan..

If no, sure Mati. Farny siol!

:: photos and reflections ::

Isaac's regular photos and intimate reflections will now be posted on my other blog..

http://roychiu.livejournal.com

Do look over there too! All new April.

Monday, March 30, 2009

:: real man ::

My current favorite song.. 99% fits W la!

Jolin 蔡依林 「大丈夫」

(男生rap)我真的搞不太懂 你怎么会选择寂寞
要的通通都有 就少了那一个男朋友
你还要ging多久 你到底挑什么

听你说得多 不怕我罗嗦 知道我难过 陪着我沉默
手机桌布只有我 很多甜蜜小动作
自己吃饭没胃口 刷卡之前先问我

喜欢我朋友 也会爱我的狗
懂环保爱地球 保护我像英雄
总是大方介绍我 什么节日都记得
陪我减肥吃苹果 帮我买口红

I don't want a boyfriend
I need a real man
诚实的嘴 可靠的肩 温柔的眼
I don't want a boyfriend
I need a real man
Real man! Real man! Real man! Real man!
何时出现 何时出现 何时出现 何时出现

会玩会工作 会疯会生活
会下厨会运动 会爱会做梦
又像男孩又成熟 对我大方自己抠
教我绝招打电动 什么都有我

I don't want a boyfriend
I need a real man
诚实的嘴 可靠的肩 温柔的眼
I don't want a boyfriend
I need a real man
Real man! Real man! Real man! Real man!
可会出现 可会出现 可会出现 可会出现

(男生rap)我现在有一点通 该怎么解决你寂寞
你说了两三分钟 我愿意花两三年去做
既然你ging很久 要不要等等我

(女生rap)大丈夫耍酷耍温柔
肩膀什么都扛得动 我嘴唇轻轻动一动
就知道我在想什么

Just show me one real man
十项全男 Real man


.....................................................................

Ooh! I need a real man real man real man real man

其实。。。。 已经出现 已经出现 已经出现 已经出现。。。 哈哈哈哈哈哈!!!!

:: it's a Happy world! ::

it feels great making new friends
especially friends whom you can talk freely to
without any prohibitions

first,
its my sports camp friends from NP
wow
they are young, nubile, innocent
and they are soooo fun to be with
its interesting to see the world through these youngster's eyes
without being tainted by the troubles of adulthood yet..
orh....

next,
my friends from Trevvy
one afternoon together of bitching and yeah!
instant hit off..
its the kind of friends i've always looked forward to..
yes! they ARE friends..

btw..
i'm sooo looking forward to the new project we will be undertaking
which we will have a room up on mt emily
which we can hang out
play games
and chill with fellow people
and feel "belonged"
more importantly
we can be there to help others like us
to feel save, to "belong"
and we can all be together without feeling awkward
cool eh?

its time such a place is set up for queer youths in Singapore
somewhere not sleazy
somewhere where theres no alcohol and sex
somewhere which is common in overseas
somewhere which is lacking in Singapore
really..
being queer should not be simply constrained to random sex
dancing and party..
no no no!
its time this place came!
yeah!

Its going to be such a nice place..
so uber looking forward.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

:: sinking ::

It is a dangerous pit to sink into.
But I think we have.
The regularity of his overseas trips.
The frequent nights out at Play.
The ostentiably long working hours.
The expectable foreplay n sex.
The lunches and dinners.
The stay overs.

When it becomes this regular.
When it becomes this used.
When everything is so planned and expected.
After one year...
One gets tired.

And thoughts start running through your head.
Random naughty thoughts runs thru my head.
Sunken in.
Isaac, beware.

Friday, March 27, 2009

:: 今日の俳句 ::

突在细雨中
伤感望这桥访处
见彩虹微笑

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

:: when I was 17... ::

Did I form friendship and bonds so fast?

Looking at my OG for sports camp, I can't help but feel old.

For one, I'm not able to be so energetic. Pubescent, growing, eager, enthusiastic.
I wish I can be.
I tried, I think, I hope.

But more importantly, I am amazed by the strong bonds they have former, even in just the first 2 days. The friendship, the spirit, is admirable.

Because at that age, we do not so much see the complexities of life. More often than not, friends were the ones you talk to, to share your life with. And at tt age, as long as you can talk, no matter the topic, you will find immediate relations. Afterall, you do not actually know tt much things to have diverse opinions.

The girls have bonded by night one, even sitting on each others lap, discussing the guys..

The guys on the other hand, have formed cliques. They are good friends, with certain similar passions in certain activities, hitting the right freq.

Wow.

A fee years down, at my age, we start to stick to our old cliques. Well well. When making new friends, we are often biased, have our own list of expectations. We start to judge people, often biased. We always suspect if this "friend" is close to us if for some reasons.

It is difficult. Blame it in the society.

How I wish I can really be like them. Used to think their conversations were childish. On second thoughts, I think it is innocence. Something I've lost and yearn to gain back again. Something I'm jealous they have.

I really hope to gain back my youth, my vibrance, forging ties with these youngsters.

I tried, I try, trying...

:: 今日の俳句 ::

今は頭が痛い
誰わかります
好きだいよ

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

:: reflections - aimless ::

Sleeping away at home
On days when I'm not out shopping.
I feel wasted.
I know I've a target a goal
But at many times
I am just an aimless soul
Parading myself to the crowd.
No cash on hand.
No motivation, really.
No destination in mind.
Just wandering.
What do I really want in life?
At this age, when people are busy with chasing
Dreams, technology, the ultimate modern day lifestyle.
I feel left behind.

A true otaku. Probably.

Monday, March 23, 2009

:: acting busy ::

I seem busy. With a million thoughts running thru my mind. There seems to b a thousand things tt I need to accompolish.

But the truth is, I cannot be more free. I've wasted enough time. And as much it seems tt I've a packed schedule, I'm actually just idling most of the time.. Waiting.. For something to happen. Really.

I've got orientation camps to attend. But I feel.. Lethargic. Because I see no reason now to attend. The enthusiasm has very much faded. In fact, I feel old to be in company of these "ru xiu wei gan" kids. I try to think I'm young n enjoy.. But.. 一言难尽..

I'm contemplating whether or not, to go for tmr's FOC. Can't blame.. My injured leg is also another reason prohibiting me..

Well..

Monday, March 16, 2009

:: more than ever ::

Life in NP starts as soon as today.

I chose Chinese media and communication over mass comm because it's a combination of both my passion in Chinese and mass comm. Also because of the niche market it aims. A small pioneering cohort and prospects with the diploma was also taken into consideration. Finally, the year three overseas immersion was also interesting experience I looked forward to.

I did my registration of course today, and with just a little admin to settle by post, I am prepared for school next month.

Oh, my Exciting life in np is starting ss early as this week as I've signed up for sports camp. Wednesday! Yay! Look forward to it. And hopefully I can join the db team. Haha..

There's also SU camp next week and humanities school camp on the week before school starts!

And oh ya! There's the Happy party on 4/4/09! Looking forward to see all u friends then! Yay!

Monday, March 9, 2009

:: to 宅 or not to 宅 ::

宅男.. I am becoming a 宅 kia la!
due to my leg pain (probably because of suppressed vein)
i hardly go out if not for work
and most of the time
i lay on my bed..
coz even sitting down is painful..
bleah!

and the kaypo in me decided to quit my job as an admin assistant (fulltime)
and then the next day accept the job as events coordinator (part time)
now let me make a comparison between the jobs..

admin assistant:
-full time pay (alot lo)
-average three day work week in office (each less than 5 hours)
-work from home the rest of the time on comp
-some nights on comp working on website admin stuffs..
-very easy job..
-climb stairway to heaven thrice weekly

-event coordinator:
-part time pay (1/2 to 2/3 of full time pay)
- work average three day in office ( less than 3 hours, in evenings..)
- noting to do at home, just some simple admin
-many nights at clubs!!! INCLUDING SUNDAY! bleah!
-i have to be out and show my face in the clubs.. bleah!
-i've to climb stairway to heaven to collect things/get a ride whenever there's event.. bleah!
-i get sick and tired of muscle marys sticking up to me with their naked bodies!!
bleah.. they are so bloody disgusting.. and giving them a condom does not mean i want you to fuck me! bleah!


luckily Play is temporarily closed..
the "new" job is quite relaxed actually
just tt i'm now really out in clubs almost every other night
really don't know what to tell my mum
working at a club? salah leh
then? hmm..

but the pay is quite okay
and i can still study and handle this job
(boss say i can stop handling superstar sundays when i start school)
and most impt.. the PAY!
i need money, alot..

one PLUS thing..
i now attend parties which W attends too!
in the past i shun the events because i'm just not such a social butterfly
now
i'm constrained by the job
so i get to eye him while i'm working and
the work practically entails me being friendly and partying..

whats there not to like of a job that is just partying?
the CROWD! i really have yet to feel totally comfy about it..
alright.. its just me!
its a dream job to some of my aj friends
but for me..
if not for the money..
bleah!

but next sunday's Superstar Sunday will be interesting..
haha
there's the contestants of Manhunt 2009..
and i've a ex-schoolmate who's in the competition la! so cool right..
do support him okay?
MH12.. Ryan Chong..

totally nv expect la..
but well.. he looks quite good la..
didn't realise back then..

W should have taken part back when he was younger lo
will have won..
but his youth was wasted on..
overseas studies / working in tt green company..
bleah!

well.. based on the fact tt i'm blogging at such wee hours..
yup.. because i just came home from work
and yup.. i'm back to my 宅 days until the next work day.. on wed.. hmm..

Monday, March 2, 2009

:: dear death ::

You are morbid. You are feared. You seem "dirty". You are oft visited when one thinks that there's no way out.

Today, I saw death in two distinctively different light. One in the case of a student who looked to death after a frustrating confrontation with his FYP prof, another in the case of this year's Academy Award Best Foreign Language Film.

The movie, Departures, was a poignant story of a man, who gave up his career after unsuccessful attempts, as a cello player in an orchestra, which was forced to close down. He went back to his old home in suburban Japan. He looked for a job in the classifieds section and came across one from NK Agent. It was a job to work with "departure". Thinking it was a travel agency job, he went to apply. In reality, it was a job dealing with the departed, in other words, it was a person who take care of a dead person, helping to prep a dead to get ready for entering the coffin, departing to another world.

The people around him, including his wife, played by 广末凉子, thought of it as a improper job, even leaving him saying he was dirty. But through ways, he proved to people it to be a noble job, respectable and something he is proud of.

An understory of him with his father was told, with his parents divorced and his father being a useless man who had extramarital affair. In the end, when he found out his father was dead, it took him a while, until he decided to visit him. With his wife, they drove to a little town and saw his fathers body. It was extremely touching seeing him looking at his fathers face and matching it to the face he has long forgotten since he last saw when he was a child. Unhappy with the way the undertaker took care of the body, he stepped in to do his job, and sent his own father on the final journey. Overall, it was touching, something that felt close to heart and not at all unfamiliar.

On the other hand, an Indonesian Chinese year 4 EEE student from NTU took his own life, slashing his wrist before jumping down a a EEE block. (yah, he jump from a basement level and died, proving the theory tt u can die in NTU even if u jump from a basement) but before tt, he stabbed his FYP professor several times at his office.

So was it a case whereby FYP professor was over demanding that the student could not tolerate. Or was it that he was simply too stressed. I would prefer to think that the prof played a part in this whole disaster. Mayb I'm biased, bit, I can't think of any reason a student would stab him. If too stressed he die himself can le ma.

Still, it's sad la. Why couldn't he just tolerate it for awhile more, project finish in a month or two, then he will grad le. So wasted. Sad la! Stress.. Who is not stressed?haiz ~

I fail so many times, also live on. Tsk. Don't set too high expectations la, be it the student or the prof..

Fun facts about NTU EEE accident:

-ntu south spine highest level is level two. At the EEE buildings, one is Level 1 to basement 5, the other got basement 7.. The two extentions (which I guess is where accident take place) got basement 1-5.. No levels abover ground, haha..

-some say FYP stands for Finish Your Professor. Cruel but funny.

-that guy who died was from hall 4. He was once my neighbour la... Dun noe him personally though.. Someone even said maybe hall 4 will hold the wake, rubbish la!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

:: Wild Wild Wild ::

We spent our first anniversary up one mt emily, enjoying a splendid dinner at Wild Rocket. The ambience I must say, was great. I could not have imagined there to have a projector with our private photos screened on the walls the whole evening la. As there were other guests, the atmosphere felt salah at times.

We popped over to Wild Oats for a round if drinks before an unexpected thing happened. W really went on his knees to propose. I felt really warm n fuzzy deep down, but fortunately, my mind was calm. I've not officially replied but still.. Hope u understand, dearie. I believe we still have a long way to go and getting me to come to terms about us and my family n friends is still one big barrier we need to overcome. I promise, I will do that, soon.

Still, thank you for the wonderful night tt I will always remember, and I LOVE YOU. You know I will reply to that BIG question, I just need time first. And we do have the time... Love u always....

:: 1st anniversary ::

Today marks our first anniversary. Really special year indeed. And boy, did I grow and mature loads this past year. From being an innocent boy looking for a friend, till meeting this wonderful guy he previously only know as S3, till the development of a wonderful relationship, as a splendid love blossom. Never did I expect all these to have happened this time last year.

Willie is a man of character. Playful n childish at times, at others, he can be an executive, braving all storms. A thinker, a poet, a man of wise words. A sporty guy, who never fails to inspire the people around him to keep fit with him. A man who is proactive in leading people, who enjoys his networking, a man who knows how to entertain and party. He is a super all rounder.

And today, I'm proud to say he is a great boyfriend.

And he officially proposed today.

We are really in LOVE.

Monday, February 23, 2009

:: Heath Ledger ::

I am still crying. Touched. Seeing the Ledger family receiving the Oscar for this outstanding actor.

We see talent. But unfortunately, it is only in our memory.

Thank you Heath, for The Joker, and many more films you have created and left a legacy on.

And congratulations to your win. You really deserved this recognition as Best Supporting Actor. You deserve this!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

:: 纯音乐享宴::

林宥嘉「迷宫」新加坡演唱会已经圆满举行。 眼唱会可说是一场音乐的非凡体验。 三个小时演唱会有足足四十五分钟的encore,整体上音乐曲目多元化, 有快有慢,有主打也有非主打,更有一些超冷门歌曲, 但首首都突显出yoga的度特唱腔和完美唱公。

郭富城的「对你爱不完」,陈亦讯的「谢谢」, 等yoga在「超级星光大道」上用来参赛的歌曲都得道很大的回向。

但是,本人对歌曲的扁排感到很奥恼。快与慢歌的交差都有点wrong。 但这样的无理头或许就是宥嘉的特点。如在一些感伤的怀旧歌曲后加上一首「叉烧包」, 抄热气奋只余也添了几份新鲜感。

特别嘉宾方面,本地的olivia 和女生天团S。H。E,更是让整场演唱会加分不少。

yoga的直摔天性,加上一点玩皮,配合他的特直嗓音,相信是这一切让他能单凭一张专辑,开个唱,还变成巡回。

太棒了!!

林宥嘉「迷宫」新加坡演唱会 : 3。5个星

Friday, February 20, 2009

:: i love N...... ::

I'll be back ( i hope)..

call it rejuvenation
refreshening
awakening of senses
upgrading

i take a short pause from my university education as I pursue my interest..

not that i've given up on it
i love to study
to study something i like
and move on from there
correct the wrongs in the past years
and have an adventure
pick up new skills

*on a side note*

Revelations have come to an end..
thank you all my actors and production crew for the wonderful effort
it has been one hell of a crazy ride
i hope all of you enjoyed it..
you are the reason I persevered

you all did a wonderful closing to the chapter of my life in NTU
and i hope you will all go far
although in different directions..

now..
NP got any drama group?
or can I really be a dragonboater? muahahaha..

****

tears may fall when we say goodbye
but more importantly
its the smile these memories bring
when we look back
and embrace the happy times...

****

to all my friends who have made my journey in NTU memorable, although some for the wrong reasons..

~3238 peeps in NTU, weizhi, anderson (u 2 r really special.. ), ronnie, sir seng, eugene..
and many more army friends who were in ntu..

~CAC FOC 07 and 08.. Pollia and Thyra..
tingshu, shining, wileen, weihua, yongyi and all those Thyra-nosaruses.. 6 days was all we
needed for the close bond.. i still feel it inside. thank you
and all those committee people, thank you for the opportunities, and the friendships.
great to know all of u..

~Hall of Residences 4.. well.. Alexis Cai.. haha.. nice to know you..
and all the others who i've known through the year of stay..

~the random people i talk to from NTU network on trevvy.. nice to have known you..

~classmates, japanese coursemates.. thank you for once being a friend. it was fun!

NP CMC! Here I come!!!

Monday, February 16, 2009

:: new hair cut ::



wanted to colour hair
but realised cannot due to an interview
nonetheless
cut my hair
thanks to Zen who always give me a nice look
and can handle all my request n tries his best to make me look good
short front and sides
but i retained my back somehow..
yup..
at least its neat n kempt..


Thursday, February 12, 2009

:: my funny valentine ::

I am going Singapore flyer again this Sat with Vincent. By the way, we spent v day as a couple together last year, also on Singapore flyer. Haha. He won a pair of tickets this time. Hope it's not awkward like last year.

:: iPhone * emojicon ::

If u do not already know, Japanese people have their own quotly ways of doing things, many of a time, reworking on wat the English produce and re-inventing them to perk it up.

One such thing is Emojicon, one grade above wat we have as emoticon, just much more interesting, some being simply 无理头。

It really is fun working with emojicons to add some fun n color to life.

However, iPhone has been slow moving in japan, mainly due to the lack of emojicon function or applications. The truth is, it exists, just that it is hidden or locked.

Until recently, when people studied it, created applications which seemingly have no link to emojicons, and using special secret codes on these applications, you will be able to unlock the emojicons function on the iPhone n it's keyboard function, and add life, vibrancy, and that tinge of Japanese into your life.

One such application to unbreak the emojicon is Number spell, supposedly used to translate numbers into monetary terms in words for cheque writing n related uses. But by simply keying the secret code 9876543.21, you will unbreak the application's Emojicon Easter Egg function and thereafter can use your emojicons.

Now, let me show u a few of my favourite emojicons which are fun!!



Yup. Be it happy, sad, love u, ok, omg, I'm angry, shit la, I'm sleepy, NO, jiayou, doggie, piggy, beach time, let's play mahjong, go swimming, listen to music, let's have coffee, going drinking, happy birthday, u driving?, and meet at ATM.. All can expressed in just a pic on SMS.

There are hundreds more fun emojicons to brighten up anyones day lo. Cool right??

:: thankful ::

I m thankful.

For friends in my life, although maybe not always by my side everyday, mayb we only meet once occasionally, but these are friends I really treasure.

Friends which sometimes we argue, have different opinions, or does actions which I really can't stand.

But to me, they are friends, who understands me, can hold conversations with, can pour my heart out, and talk without any restrictions. They are friends who really care about me as much as I care about them.

Thank you, my friends...

Happy Friendship Day / Valentines Day

I heart u all!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

:: Grammy 2009 ::

Why??

Why didn't Leona Lewis win best female pop vocal performance??
hmpf!
who is Adele?

Congratulations...

My heartiest congrats to great performance by Coldplay and their wonderful album
Viva La Vida (which till date i keep saying i want to buy but have yet to buy)

and also to Jennifer Hudson (self titled album)
for bagging best RnB Vocals.
(hope u will walk out of your family tragedy soon..)

Sunday, February 8, 2009

:: SPORTSeason09 * national vertical marathon ::

1st sports challenge of the year completed.

60 storeys up Republic Plaza is no easy feat.

I feel great that I was able at least to complete it.

Great achievement. And seriously.. It takes tough mental strength to pull through!

(sidenote: met weichuen.. Never run together but shares lots of crap before n after..)

Saturday, February 7, 2009

:: SPORTSeason09 * not a good start ::

I'm supposed to go for Safari Run at the Zoo tonight, but will instead be at Crowd Lu Guang Zhong's concert coz I won a pair of tickets.

On another note, National Vertical Marathon will be held tmr morning at Republic Plaza, but I sincerely doubts whether I will be there to attempt, one reason is because it's damn early (which isn't exactly a good reason since runs normally start rather early), while the other reason being my intensely severe backache. Yup. It's back (pun unintended) to haunt and daunt me, sitting down, standing up, lying down or even bending. It doesn't seem to be leaving anytime too soon..

What a bad start to the new sports season of runs and swims...

Thursday, February 5, 2009

:: valentine09 * gonna be lonely ::

Maybe I should get use to it.

Or maybe I'm already used to it.

Will be spending Valentine's alone.

Even if it's our first valentine together...

Well, yup, work is more impt..

But.. Say of we DO get married this year..

Not even a valentines together as a dating couple...

Not really complaining actually..

Coz I've got rehearsals tt day, so will be spending the day (at least) with a group friends whom I "love"..

Haha..

To console myself: it's valentines everyday as long as love lives in your heart, and you know W will always be there for you.. Literally..

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

:: LNY09 * new teeth ::

On the ninth day of Lunar new year today, I got my teeth back. Muahaha.. Removed my braces today, and underwent a tedious and torturous process of scraping and cleaning my teeth.. Ouch! Bit finally, after 5 years, my braces are finally out!! Yay!! Straight pretty teeth again! Will need to put retainers though.. Will get it next Friday..