:: simple pleasures ::

going away
is something i always wanted to do and never had the chance
until a certain brave soul
asked me to throw everything down
and escape into a world i only dare fantasize about
just you and me
in a foreign land
enjoying ourselves

and so I am now in Taipei, Taiwan
on a 3 days 2 night trip
enjoying
just pleasure
massages, facial, shopping, spa, sleeping, eating
not bothered about anything thats not mine
and not his
we are just wanting to be in a world of our own

not bothered touring spots that are for tourists
maybe just a trip of taipei 101
and not bothered about sharing with everyone how happy we are
not bothered with taking too many photos
and not bothered with memorabilias
and goodies to bring back

those, like wat M says
are for tourists
we are just two people who want a break
we are here to enjoy
and thats what we are doing

the trip is short
but that is what we can afford
in terms of time, for now

why go on leaving so much trails and memories
i like to hear him explain and tell me..
"dear, you are in charged of enjoying and relaxing.
not buying things for your friends and families
not taking pictures to prove where you have been
not sharing your joy through thoughts and what nots
it shall just be you and me and our love love"

ok!
i'm pampered and very happy:)

i can't stop smiling
seeing him seeing me seeing where i am seeing what i have
i just smile and feel really delighted

and then he says..
"no need to have too much memories to keep,
coz when you crave, seeing pictures are useless"

and also
"when you feel it, like it, want it, need it, have a break,
we'll just back again.."

these simple things in life
really
enjoy a holiday like its yours..

:: 开心就好 ::

Love is a vicious cycle.. (Jasen Tay said)
And i can't agree more..
You fall in love.
you quarrell..
he betrays you..
you forgive..
he continues..
you hate him..
for awhile..
and you love him again..
and soon, the passionate kisses are gone..
it becomes boring.
you fall out of love, with him..
and you crave for more love..
and you want more..
then you love, again..

my relationships in the past few years are really interesting
from friends
to very good friends..
to a sudden feeling for one another
love love love
then he loves me like crazy
and i love him like theres no tomorrow..
then it forms and drops into a routine
there is love, but it seems normal
like married couples after years..

then another friend appears
and i think its interesting
i see the current relationship going nowhere
so.. i skip and hop boat
bad bad..
but the "ex" dun really seem to get angry
weird, i might think
but i'm glad it didn't turn into something ugly (twice, in fact)

now..
back to square one.
i'm in love, again..
some passion..
same passion? i don't know.
but i know we will love each other for a while more
though i hope it will be for long..
maybe..
forever..

to my dearie..
sorry if i hurt you
i've learnt
to treasure you
thank you for being who you are
and for sharing your heart and love with me
thank you for not digging into the past
and willingness to accept me again
i thank you for who you are
and our love.. :)

i know i am a bad bad boy
but thank you for wanting me
maybe these unexplainable things
is what we call.. love...

:: 孤单的很需要另一个同类 ::

爱收了又给我们都不太完美
梦作了又碎我们有几次机会

去追
不晓得为什么爱又稀少又昂贵

:: thinking back on these few days ::

I am tired.. very tired.. but I do not know why..

1. E-learning weeks are one hell of a rollercoaster ride. Very busy.

2. I feel lost in a weird way. Not knowing what I should do or where I am. I need positioning.

3. I seem overly pursuing something way out of my task. Why am I not studying and working hard on projects.

4. I overspent. Period.

5. Too busy. Far too busy with all the camps, ambassador, shopping, designing for label. Lost sight of target, again.

6. VOX! New Media Camp is, well, not tt exciting and fun. The school I'm attached to (JSS) is erm.. i've got too many negative things to comment. So shall stop. Overall, its a eat n eat camp. Hah!

7. Look forward to making new friends and interacting with hte kids at Arts Biz Camp tmr n thurs. :)

8. Who are my friends? I seem to not know. Blurred. Bad! Weird sensation lik how it was between me and zhiwei in the past is back. I treasure you as one of my bestie. Really.

9. Not focusing on my schoolwork. I really need to buck up. Almost half way through. I can't get last sem's results anymore. It was a wake up call to work harder if I want to go back to Pulau NTU again.

10. Visions blurred. Is dressing up and friends and friendships and joking partners more important? Is shopping important?

11. Alot on my mind. New start of a relationship. With guilt no less. Its happening to me once and over again. Izts bad. But is this the norm? Hope not. I need to settle down. Not young anymore.. What is the meaning to this? I seems to not know. Sad.

:: thinking through things ::

I sit down
looking through my stuffs
and thinking through the many happenings
that has happened during this holidays
and as i plan for the next week or so
and for the new semester..

Love:
its a complicated thing
between 2 persons
even more so between 2 guys
especially between 2 people who are so different
in many ways
yet sharing the same passion in life
and in this real world
real things happen
and feelings get tweaked

there's too much between us
and around us
for me not to feel tired
but because we love each other so much
we are able to look past these things
and appreciate each other
forget about the flaws
forgive one and others' misdemeanors
and love on like nothing happened..
i wish
this will stay on..
and on..

was at a class chalet i spearheaded
and am I glad that although the turnout was small
but we had fun
and bonded well
i had a chance to bond with the people were going to
be in the same class as me
and we talked also about many things
about class
about life
it was..
nice:)

attended BBE YEC's first meeting..
was a nice session selecting the committee
and the various office bearers..
there's going to be a lot to learn from
being a grassroots leader
in this youth group
and i look forward to working with this dynamic bunch of people
from different walks to life
to organise events for my constituency
and making friends in my neighbourhood
btw..
after little rounds of "elections" and "votings"
i am part of the sports and wellness team,
as well as the New Media and Publicity Secretary..
interesting..
as i hope to hone my skills in design and publication
doing publicity works and such
as well as maintaining good new media health
in the group.
might be able to apply wat i learn from webby design in the new sem..

currently out of dragonboating for awhile
because since i left for vietnam till now
my weekends are all jam packed
so..
no river regatta and db trainings for me this half year..:(

as for my new style in the new sem
i've decided
that i should be a fashion boy like i've always targetted
and go all out in dressing everyday
i've bought a big new collection for this sem
and hope to create new styles that will blow ppl's mind
and upping my own style quotient
to go well with my new fashion blog i plan for next year
as well as our little designing tees business:)
my great clothes collection from uniqlo n topman n river island n g2000
all waiting for me:)

that also brings me to another point..
i'm broke
and my lines are cut off temporary again..
i need to get a work
and try to pay off things for myself..
i dun noe how long more i can sustain a lifestyle like tt
without working
and i feel bad when i swipe the card each time..
well well..
any good job offers to fit my timetable?

and fitness calls..
i need to get a healthy lifestyle
gym n swim.,.
alot alot alot next sem..
loose weight!
with determination and sheer spirit.
i believe!!

alot in my mind
weighing me down..
if u don't see me smile so much
u understand
i've too much load
going through too much
i only hope to do my best in each section
and excel!

for now
i think i need to concentrate and enjoy whatever i have

HMS leadership camp from mon-thurs..
well well..
looking for other commitments..
and also job+money:)

:: blur ::

Why?
For what?
I don't know.

dear Isaac..

Don't let a moment's willful thoughts ruin you.
think of the future..
one which is happy
and positive
and endless possibilities..

that is far more important
and a fling or two
some random fun times

its okay when your relationship reaches a plateau
and you get used to one another
just think of the random happy moments and surprises you share
doesn't it still bring a smile upon your face?

why does the grass look greener on the other side?

and this person is willing to let you go have some fun
but unwilling to let go
it means something
because he understands you so much
and that he still loves you.

he knows that you will turn back.

and probably..





i will turn back..
because i've comed to my senses.. :)

:: love . the time has come.. ::

when we feel the relationship
and love has reached a plateau
maybe its time to talk it out
and me and W did.

we are still very good friends, buddy, brother..

a special relationship that we will treasure

i don't eliminate the fact that I will go back to him
in the future..



but for now..
i still feel very much loved by him
status and relationship might be at a different level
but we still care and concern for each other very much

and as for the other M..
we share many things in common..
and the passion n love within.. :)

:: 你Aware吗？::

新加坡女性权利与行动小组（Aware）今天在新加坡402展厅举行的特殊常年会议（extraordinary general meeting ) ，或许是新加坡由史以来最轰动，混乱的私人组织“暴动”。

Aware自三月份的常年会议至今，一直受到大家的关注。从聘用DBS信用卡部门副总裁Josie Lau为新管委会主席，到近日掀起的宗教纷争，同性恋者歧视性教育课程纠纷，都是因为“女性权利领导者”（feminist mentor) Thio Siu Mien 引领的。由于故事太长，我也就不在去解说，相信同学们比我更了解。

如今，Aware“两大派”的纷争主要是在于Aware启蒙成员（old guard）对新加入的成员和新的执委会感到不满，认为他们有着私下的反抗议题为主加入Aware。而新执委（new guard) 则坚持自己的信念，希望能够一改Aware近年来的“过错”。这批新执委其中有多人是亲戚，也是在Aware常年选举之前几个星期才加入的成员。他们其中也有多数是来自同一所教会，位于马格列通道的救主之堂（church of our saviour)。

前几天，该教会的主牧师更是表示有在教会的网站以及祷告会中要求会员到今天的大会为“姐妹们”加持。过后，该牧师更是为言行举止深感歉意。毕竟新加坡是个多元种族，文化与信仰的国家，我们不应该把个人理念强迫大人认同，更不应该硬逼他人接受自己信仰的教法。

近日的会议至今也得到了明显的结论，虽其中的Drama的确有点过火。

（最新消息：不信任新执委会投票结果：New guard (红衫军）761票，Old Guard （白衫军）1414票）

会议上全程乱一通，明显表示对红衫军的不满。其中NMP Siew Kum Hong 更是扮演着相当重要的角色。他虽然是男性，无法参与投票，但却到场为白衫军加持，更为广大民众申冤。现在，虽投票结果已经呈现在眼前了，但Josie与伙伴却坚持不肯歇下职位，明显表现出非常霸道的行为。（不信任票其实并不表示他们失去委员职位，但已失去大家的支持，应该“自动一点”）

红衫军如此不干脆，不直接，做事鬼鬼祟祟，不透明，真的是相当卑鄙。为女性争取权利还是为自己的信念与信仰牟利？只有他们自己知道。如果真的是不满之前Aware的企划与行为，他们应该做的，是自己开设另一个行动小组，而不是这样一低下的手法得到权利，霸占他人的组织。

这整件事今后又会演变到什么地步，无人知道。但人人都持有己健，应该做的是互相包容，使这国家繁荣。继续纠缠也是没有用的。

但我自己留意了这件事哪么久，只能说，我相信这不是终点。Drama相信会在接下来几天继续越演越烈。不知大家对Aware事件持有什么看法，这是个小组内的争论，还是同性恋者与“家庭概念”的冲突，或是有着宗教信仰的敏感争议呢？

（其实要说的还很多，故事还很长，但打到手累了，就在此结笔。对我来说，投票过后，我赢了。爱，不分你我，sorry to the Thios， *Boo*！）

*整段post是在会议举行的最后几个小时内写的，本作者心情混乱，若有得罪任何人，请多包容。文章纯属作者个人意见与主张，如有雷同，纯粹巧合。*


*********************************************************************

on a sideline, do check out the full details of the EGM today from..

Wayang Party
cruz teng 丁志勇
The Online Citizen

oh ya, and remember to get a Shut up and Sit Down tee shirt!!

:: colours ::

i wrote the below essay in class when i felt it was boring and i couldn't wait to finish it and go off.. Haha.. It was based on a photograph (black n white), of a couple walking along a train track, with the girl trying to balance and the guy holding her.

rather unexpectedly, the short essay which i didn't put any effort in turned out to be pretty well received and won "rave reviews" amongst my friends. LOL!

by the way, now is no longer like the past when my essay was the best (like during JC or sec sch) when the others in class had mediocre chinese standard, my classmates now are all chinese pro, with majority being form higher chinese and excelling them.. I tried my chinese twice la, for both AO and O levels, and both time yield A2 only lo.. Not even a A1!!! roar!!

well, let u read my 简短，扼要，精彩，富有画面感的文章。LOL!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

:: 黑白 。 彩虹 ::

扶持着他的手，感觉到无私的安全感。他手的温暖，保护着我，让我坚强，勇敢。

那天，我们俩走在铁车轨道，快乐的分享我们这些日子以来，欢乐的时光，曾经度过的美好日子，回忆涌入脑海中。当时，我感受到的，是无限的幸福，因为我想，我找到了人生的幸福伴侣，似乎看到了我们的未来。能够一同在如此诗情画意的空间，度过我们的一周年纪念，真的，满足了。

我来自单亲家庭，更是家中的独生子，从小就没感受到太多的亲情。自认长相不太养眼，一直以来都不善于表达自己，因而朋友不多，要找个男朋友，更是天大的难事。

一次在朋友的聚会，偶然碰到了他，因为同样喜欢看动漫，而成为了好友。感情慢慢发展，延续。

如今，我们在一起已经一年了。我们走过的，是风风雨雨，一道想当漫长，弯曲的路。彼此扶持着，秉持着共同的一份坚持。 爱，就是着样散播开来的。

看着他的眼，黑白的眼，我却仿佛置身在七彩的世界。曾经的彷徨与无助，现在有人分享。

有了他，我看见了未来。 和他在一起，我看见了彩虹，活着的精彩。

and now for the teacher's comment..

Y*** Chen said…
故事完整，也很感性，文采佳。

WOW! 真是让人拍案叫绝！！！

:: old flame . new love . future ::

we were packing out old stuffs
seeking for things to take out for sale at a charitable sale yesterday
when W came across a pair of alphabetical bears
with W and B on it.
as well as a bottle of origami stars
painstakingly jottled with love messages and then folded



wow..
that is so sweet and diabetic, ain't it

well
it belonged to a past relationship of his
a rather looong relationship
he told me, 6 years
and till now
after reading a few of the love messages
he feels each of them.

they shared a love which was unique
and let me to see a tender side of him
for a strong and grown muscular man
to have a love affair like that
is quite unbelievable.

it makes me cherish him more
and he to me too.
it is just memories, and will be
to be kept in an important place in his heart.

now, he says, he has me
and there's no need to be jealous.
for past can never mix with present
and i'm, but his future.

(i'm getting rather diabetic now..)

he told me yesterday too:
"I looked at these. I realised how much I loved B.
And how much I still love B."

he packed it up
and returned these to B at the club today when they met
and right after
in front of a group of friends
popped the question, once again, to me.

i felt it was right
and so, "yes"

:: W ::

it definitely wasn't the first time he was asking and we were discussing about it
a nice union to celebrate and commemorate our love
and i swear i wasn't on a sugar high/ sex pills/dead drunk
to finally agree to the idea (or proposal)
of the "wedding" or "marriage"

you see
due to the unconventional relationship we are having
the "normal terms" just don't quite apply to us
however
we are but two normal man
who are, really, in love.

the reasons are aplenty
but yes, we are going into it
hopefully
with predictable outcomes...
(though at this point, the happiness has just started sinking in, but no real concrete plans has been set, yet.)

we have been together for about 10 months now
not a really short period of time
but as compared to many more
it is not that long either
but he always say
its the love that's important
and age is not a factor
you might think its childish
and just some fantasy
but to me,
this wildest dream
IS taking shape.

i would prefer just a simple ceremony
but he has differing views
not too elaborate
but not too simple too
he is a man with stature
and adored/fantasized by many
to him, it is an announcement
he's taken, keep out!
while to me, its just a nice sweet way of him promising me
to be there...

i want just a ceremony
he wants a dinner
at a nice friend's place for me
at a church, then a club, for him
just a few common friends for me
all our friends and families must be informed, for him
a quiet affair for me
a lifetime effort no less from him.

we have differing viewpoints on matters in life
but we share a special chemistry
which just churns out much more sparkles each day
probably that's what you will label as
love.

:: (not so civil) union ::

strangely enough

i'm now using a lappy

while attending a union ceremony of one of our best friends

really nice..

its specially planned to be held late at night here at Play

and only invited guests are sitted around.

a nice buffet spread of fine wines and cheese nibbles awaits at the counter

and we are still waiting for the grooms to appear

in a few minutes

they had specially selected today as tmr (17/12)

was when they first met 3 years ago and got attached..

how sweet right. even if its not a weekend (its onli the start of the week)

all their friends have made it a point to come and celebrate

although its just a union in name

and does not specifically have any significance in name of law

but its just really nice

because there are many people who don't believe in gay couples being together

and even those who are together, do not believe in unions.

but i tink a union is a promise to each other

a simple party (or not) is a way of telling and sharing with your friends

your joy and happiness

and also having them share with you their blessings and believes in the couple.

contrary to wat J thinks that its just another gay wild party

i tink it has much more than it appears to mean

and i feel blessed to see two of my friends

who have dared to step out

be themselves

and share their lives with one another

and telling people around them.

more importantly

their families and friends are here to witness this event

which makes me think

they are really courageous to come out to their parents.

tonight

i wish tony and branden happiness always

and may we always share the love you two have for one another

and more importantly

may your love go on forever...

will i ever have such a day?

i really dare not even think about it.

*by the way, the black tie event has close to 100 guests, and has a theme, sexy sensual silver,

that is like sooooo Branden lo.. *

waiting for the ceremony to start..

:: sex then love ::

sometimes

it just feels like something which happens so often

that it might appear to be the quintessential part of our relationship

it seems like its what keep us together

the basis of our being together

but now

we are really stable together

words of confirmation

once again affirmed the two of us

being a couple

as we face challenges

and prolonged seperation due to work

i am sure we are already one

as he would say

we are not just a dating couple

we are "together" like..

for.. a long long time to go..

suddenly have this very weird but good feeling..

:: roller coaster ride! ::

its examinations week next week
and its going to be a hell of a roller coaster ride
with many things cramped up! oh my god!
emotional and mental torture.. be prepared..

yesterday
watched Avenue Q
its really funny
and wat i watch out more is the story development, characters and production
its a great set and storyline
but i guess its a show for the masses..
noting much technocal to note of
but nonetheless
its a really great performance
since many of the show's 3 weeks run has been fully booked.
will remember the songs like "if you were gay", "internet is for porn" and "It sucks to be me".
well
i'm now listening to the Broadway original cast recording
a really nice memory of a great musical!
anyone wants can borrow from me and have a great laugh at the songs..

read a few comments and reviews about Gemuk Girls by The Necessary Stage
i seems to be a great play
in theatrics and script
but too bad..
just when i wanted to get tickets
its all sold out le!

but I'm gonna catch Flare ( a play bout live during n after a earthquake in a neighbouring country)
by Cake Theatrical and The Finger Players
quite looking forward to it
coz its really interesting to see two companies which i like and are pretty known to be good companies..
hope dearie will be able to watch it with me

that brings me back to another topic
watched Ave Q with weizhi yesterday
because someone was busy
and couldn't make it

well well..
sometimes
i really hope he can relax and take things in different perspective
i hope he can see things through other's life
who knows what happens
he is sometimes domineering
just the way i like it
but then
there are times when i feel he hould think of what people really want
and not simply wat he perceives

sometimes
i might say i'm tired
like really "tired"
because i don't just want to be pampered
i want to be a bigger part of your life
not just someone who gets your love
or how it appears to be "love"

its not easy
you might say again
you don't know what young people think
but hey
if i can understand you and what you really want
mayb you can try to reciprocate that as well
i know work is tough
and you are one who knows how to work hard n play hard
and seperates the two apporpriately

probably you need to separate your social life from mine
i know your friends
but do you know mine?

there are things you do with your friends
and try to pull me in when i might not be interested
then there are other activities
which you simply count me out
you don't seem to care about anyting at all

on the long run
i really don't understand you
your stand on things
and what you are really looking for
your fast changing attitude makes me feel lost
98% of the time
i enjoy the many things
but its the little things that matters more

hopefully
by saying you love me
we can integrate each other into one another's life
and not just say so

be it..
if we are going to live together (forever? long term? i don't know. though i know you want to.. ?)
we have to balance. merge. move on.

sometimes
being simplistic is the best
get back to your roots of being the child-like boy when you are with me
think of being simple
thats easier.. to think and do..
haha.. now i am at a lost myself.. what do i really want??

**ps: anyone wants to go Zoukout, watch Snow white and the seven dwarfs by Wildrice, First Light by Toy Factory, Lee Guitars All Stars Concert, please contact me!**

:: while the rest of the world... ::

... gets busy with political turmoil..

isaac plans to write a political play.. hahaha...
and tries to avoid politics..

... gets busy with financial crisis...

isaac is also setting himself into a personal financial crisis..
but i doubt anyone would use a bailout to save me..

... has presidents "quitting"

isaac is getting himself overly busy with a million and one things
even if somethings he can't explain..
doesn't know what to do..
feels dumb
gets bored
completely puzzled by plans and arrangement
doubts his own ability and capability
and feels like quitting on some matters..

... has terrorist attacks..

isaac doesn't understand whagt the heck are they thinking..

... financial markets and large company turns over

isaac seems ambivalent
isaac is also neutral to such
he is an idiot, really..

... when the local theatre scene is proceeding

isaac seems to be letting his creativity backflow
and starts to think of ways writing plays with same ideas..
he needs to wake up..

...is troubled over milk

he just wants to make some lame jokes out of the milk brand names..

...is moving on F1 success

he wants to avoid Marina area at all cost this week..

...everyone is enjoying their recess

Isaac is going to be so busy this week
or so he thinks..

...people want a healthier lifestyle

Isaac wants too, but
despite exercising a whole lot
but eats even more
especially at unearthly times
which makes him fat

Isaac wants too many things
but he can't be
and he needs someone to constantly alert him
that he is not superman

someone.. anyone..

miloboi says: "being alone lets you think more,
about the endless possibilities..
and not needing to concern yourself too much
about the feeling..
or what is love, really.."

:: Piling . Troubles ::

i've got everything piling up the way it shouldn't be
and as i look back
I really haven't changed for the better
the way it ought to have gone..
oh no..

troubles are all piling up my way
5 weeks in school and entering the 6th
I am just afraid that I've taken on a little too much!
(once again..)

I've got educational trouble..
organisational trouble..
sports and physical trouble..
monetary trouble..
relationship trouble..

heres a summary..

education troubles:
-project piling up, especially for HW210.. its a sucky project, though it seems essential..
-tutorials.. they are secretly piling up, and I seemed to have missed a lesson or two sometimes..
-thus leading up to missed tutorials and lectures.. notice the s behind? oh no.. how? i need to seek the real importance and the meaning of studies in life for myself and prioritise. plan my life properly..
-and because i've missed the above, the tests coming up will be damn fierce. though it might juz be tests, but things add up, and i hope it will not be in a bad way. I'm going all out to mend these holes, i promise!
-I need to buck up of my school work, desperately..

organisational troubles..
-as u may know,
I have joined a few main committees this year after a bad year in onli sub-committees last year. and as they say, the job is fiercer. oh no.. so the work is really getting heavier and i need to "wake up" my idea and get things done so as to not fail or give up in any of the projects..
anyways, the election for Epiphany main com is tomorrow! yeah! fingers crossed!
(I've currently got CAC JDC and Impresario to take care of.. both PnP posts.. well well)

sports and physical trouble..

-I am fat
-I am unfit
-I've got IPPT coming
-I've not trained well enough..
-I can only run (long distance, not 2.4 n 4X10m..)
-I got tedious dragonboat training which i hope helps.
-i've regular runs thanks to a certain person..
-I am still fat despite trainings and my physiques in not building up.
-i hate that!

monetary troubles...
-really, officially, i am POOR.
-i'm near bankrupt.
-my 4 bank accounts are running on less than 2 or 3 figure sums.
-my three credit cards are running on debts.
-i'm afriad each time the statement comes each months.
-why does time past so fast?
-where am i going to get money to pay
-why am i still in the blur and keep spending endlessly without the constant effort to thrift and spend less despite knowing i HAVE to?
-i am officially a "ka-nu" slave to my cards

relationship troubles:
-for those who do not know
-i've got a 31 year old partner
-who is quite prominent in the circle due to some unspecified reason
-who is desperate to get into a stable "family environment"
-but travels around the world for holiday/work so so often
-and loves sports to much that pressurizes me..
-he is a freakin' 6-pac believer
-and a uber IT professional and closetted entrepreneur wanabe
-who happens to have a military background.
-and is a guy.
-the trouble?
-well..
it is about me acknowledging his existance to my friends
-who might be able to take it, or may be homophobics..
-another challenge:
-he takes care of me too well.
-i feel insecure
-yet he offers a great sense of security
-and now officially wants to have an official "union"
-but it sounds good. but i dun know what will happen next time.
-or even the near future.
-i'm afraid of my poisition in school, friends, family, society...

troubles...

:: missing you ::

probably.. after so long... i feel the weird feeling of missing someone..
actually.. its been happening for awhile..
really..

since we got quite close (about four months back, when it was more or less on track)
each time we part..
i feel sour
how i wish i'm with him 24/7
even he is at his work (in local office)
i would miss him
and we will exchange sweet notings via sms..

then he went on his business trips around the world..
it hurts me every minute i can't see him
the daily Skype-ing is a necessity, not a want.
being able to hear n see him each nite was wonder.
if there was a day i didn't receive his sms/msn msg
i feel so awkward

and when he IS in town
the once (at least) per hour sms is something i wait for..
oh...

when i was staying over at upper east coast
every night was heaven while the days (as in day time) without him was hell
i miss him every minute
i had to go out for fresh air to try to keep my life in blance.. not exaggeration!

and now tt i've moved back
my sms bill will most probably burst
unless i switch to student plan soon..

because every moment
(after the stay together)
i don't see him and he dun see me
we miss each other
miss each other...
miss each other...

love? tts probably it..
and age and gender is not a factor
(we have broken out of the typical norm, sex is not the only key!)

wil dearie.. i love you.

:: tired? ::

we got sporty today

as a group of my army friends went to play badminton..
i admit
i suck at sports
but at least
i've the courage to start having more contact with sports
simple ones though
at this age..

but all efforts seem to go to waste
when we went cafe cartel for lunch
and helped ourselves to endless helpings of bread..
evil!

i then proceeded to have my hair cut
so i went far east to look for Zen
i asked him if i could do the china-doll staight cut look
he said my hair was "pong pong" in front
and will flare up
so he cut a asymmetric short kempt style for me..



thereafter
i tried my luck going tangs to look for weizhi
which coincidentally
was on shift
(he was suppose to leave at 4.30, but stayed on a little longer.. so.. haha.. yuan fen!)
and we chatted a while
and thereafter proceeded to SMU
coz he was meeting his gf there

i became "dian deng pao"
eating my first Subway cold cut trio salad
which is amazingly good
for 6 bucks
you get a pretty decent portion of veges, ham, and dressings..

he offered to accompany me to walk to esplanade
where i was catching Happy Robin
on the way
we chatted on several stuffs
on the word "atas" and "wasting"
which seems like the hit word these days

i must admit
that in recent months
I've grown to develop the liking once again for the exquisite
the expansive
its not like i'm dying to reach the upper class of society
because i sincerely think i would be unable to
but..
being able to think of yourself seems self-satisfying
so let me live in my own world

while wc said tt he is constantly feeling tired
since the first semester school started
i think other than the fact that we are older
is the fact that university life is vastly different
and coping and managing is a big hoo-haa
putting it in the corrct place and leading an enriched life is not easy
but if well accomplished
you will lead the most fruitful period of your life.

i am still trying to arrange my lifestyle
and there are many factors and faces to it..
i need the time to slowly piece it together
and i need to do it fast
for one, this is a rat race
for another
i've not much time left

moving on
i went to catch Happy Robin
a music sharing session
where ex-TCS actor, star search finalist
currently Jia 88.3 DJ
cum accomplished stage actor (Chang & Eng, Asian Boys Volume 2 and 3)
Robin Goh performs a Jazz gig @ esplanade theatre studio
tonight marks the first night of a four nite shows

the short one hour show
had Robin chatting about life and love
and singing several hits and some special classics
(he did a jazz version of Singapura and yue liang dai biao wo de xin)
and bravely stood out as the guy with a great pink heart
and exposed some little ditty dirty decrets
(such as loving Men, big and strong, and falling for guys
who just meet the minimum legal age (if there is such in Singapore.. pun..))

i can't agree more to his believe on love
that PLU love lives are often dreamt of and wished to be so perfect
but more often than not
turns out to be just.......

well
surprise
dearie willie appeared outside the theatre waiting for me before the show
yes, he bought a tix without my knowledge
so we enjoyed the concert together
just when i thought i would be lonely.. well well..
such little surprise makes life interesting
spicing up our little lovey dovey relationship..:)

to willie:
yup.. nex week will be our 5th month together
people might think as grown ups
why are we still concern about the little months
but deep down
we understand that for people like us
each month count is special in its own little way
like an achievement
a great task accomplished!
i'll be in orientation camp next week
so we shall have our little celebration after that
will miss you loads when i dun see you
for a whole whole week.. orh...
still..
i love you..

miloboi says: "the interesting thinbgs in life is made interesting
by you yourself and the way you look at it."

:: union ::

a union is some sort of wedding
but the difference is
it is not in the legal sense
some sort of coming together
celebration of two who really love each other
making promise that they will love each other
in sickness or in health
and never part
or so they try to make it sound

it marks the end of just a simple relationship
and goes a big step into
a world where both blend one another seamlessly into individual life
they are affirmatively together
accepting everything
like a couple

dearie proposed
for us to plan and work ahead
to a day when we can
seam into each other's life
where we make that promise to each other
to love one another deeply, forever
in other words
he "asked for my hands in marriage"..
although it sounds so so wrong..

and I thought about it
for two weeks now..
before i finally said.. yes..

I do..

and now we wait
until the day when we can confirm
the two of us
into
one.

yes..
i'm getting married!

*for all the people who might be interested, we plan it to be maybe in two to four years time..
and no, there won't be a dinner.. mayb a little church ceremony.. or mayb just a luncheon..
till then, life goes on, as usual..*

:: thank you for being a part of my life ::

dearest willie dearie...

it might seem a little fast
when it all happens in a rush
our rapid development
flourishes into a powerful love
as we move on
into another phase of our relationship
I want to thank you
for everyday that you are here

we made a promise to each other
that we will always be there
now to take it to another level
i gave it much thought
to others it may seem nonchalant
or even unnecessary
but i know the meaning to you
and that's enough

its a long term contract
a special agreement
a long period before it comes through
but we shall let this time be
a test of our faith and responsibility to each other
before we finally commit ourselves
to prove our love.

for now
we shall work to that goal
showing the friends and family around us
our hearts bind as one
saying "i do"
baby, i love you...

lotsa love, hugs and kisses
Baby Isaac

Willie and Isaac . Commitment date: 24/5/08 . Our 3rd Month together