:: mayhem ::

this may was indeed
a gruelling month
which witnessed some of the worst Nature could bring to us

but it was also a good opportunity
for us to see
everything and everyone in a different light

we saw the ugly side of some people who didn't talk with their heads
and we also saw care and concern being spread throughout the world
we saw governments which was struggling through
and also governments which was selfish, not helping their citizens
we saw people who abandoned lifes
and those who struggled to live
we saw hope
we saw sparks
and most importantly
we saw ourselves
and the compassionate we have.

lets share our hearts
and remember
the month of Mayhem..

::
for all the broken families
for all the orphaned children
for all the poor and hungry
for all the injured and tortured
for all the unsheltered hearts
for all the babies who survived
for all the courageous heroes
for all the strong helpers
for everyone who wishes to live
and those who couldn't make it in the end
let us share love.

because
we love each other for a reason.
let the reason be love.

::

:: goodbye ::

it's always hard to turn around
and bid farewell
to the things that we have grown used to.

for all the laughters we share
and the little comforting corners
of which fond memories will always be there

gossip amongst friends
and pictures with the landscape
will be imprinted deep in mind

more often than none
that we choose to believe
this parting is but temporary

however sometimes, just sometimes
we just don't know
that the goodtimes are gone

and the possibility
of meeting again are slim
and the farewell was forever.

so from now on
I shall treasure each moment i spent
with you, my dearest friend.

:: dollars and sense ::

the issue of frugality hit me hard on my face nowadays.
i never exactly realise how much i spent until recently.
because it is until now that i've started to pay my own phone bills,
and my accumulated charges from my $500 credit limit cards...

looking back
indeed i'm quite a spendthrift

my mum scolded me left right centre regarding my escalating credit sub card bills
which in the past months have reached to $1000 each month.
now, i promise to take note of what i buy and control the amounts.

even now
when i am staying with dearie
he presist on forcing his big brother sense on me
of which i am quite grateful actually
making me realise what damage i've commited to my own pockets
as well as to the environment..

Dinner conversations tend to revolve around frugality.
"We should eat cheap; food court henceforth."
"No buffets. No restaurants."
Commuting conversations tend to revolve around frugality too.
"'I'm glad I'm not driving anymore."
"Let's just take the MRT."
Domestic conversations, naturally followed frugality as well.
"No lower than 24 degrees, please."
"Why is that fan on when the aircon is already in use?"

all that he says..
well.. alright..
i shall commit to that

and save money
because i'm a grown man now
need to spend wisely
as an adult..

(dun go out so often, eat at home whenever possible,
and spent onli on things which i really need,
dun buy those snacks which are tempting you,
nor those clothes that seems cheap, because..
they will accumulate..)

:: sex and the city ::

have been hearing all about sex n the city..
argh..
i wanna watch it..

but i've already gotten the OST even before watching it
cause its quite cool
there is a great collection of songs
from the new ones from Duffy ("mercy"),
and also older songs which are real "classics"
including a different performance of "Auld Lang Sine"
as well as "How deep is your love"..
the great mix of songs from different genres make the OST a great listen

now, i can't hide my anticipation to watch sex and the city..
but i will have to wait till next week
because i'm so caught up with things this weekend..

:: happy lunch ::

In a really rare occasion, i met Dearie for lunch today. As i had training session at MND auditorium at maxwell road, i was able to meet him for lunch, for his lunch time is pretty flexible. So we went to Tuck Shop on this rainy afternoon, enjoying our foccacia sandwich and fish n chips, scoops of ice cream, and relaxing in the lazy afternoon. Now, i'm blogging this post as i sip my caffe latte while i see him busy on his Versa lappie.. Rainy afternoon, but wif the right company n atmosphere, it can be relaxing and nice;) i'm happy!

:: smile ::

smile

it melts everything down
to a warm feeling
deep in my heart
chases away all the gloom
making my day
all bright and sunny
no need for words
just a simple action
thats what we all need.

:: noble ::

i am a knight
coming to save your day
from the evil clutches of society
that makes you go crazy

i am your prince
coming to set you free
for you may not see
the dangers ahead of you

i am your mother
so you wish to be
don't be stupid
I know what's good for you

everybody tries to be noble
to help other people
see things in a different way
it all may not be...

:: hurt ::

actually, i just wanted to bring this across without much focus.

but thinking of it again and again, i've realised that it is far too important to me that i can't just bring it off with the mention of a few words. this is my online diary, where i a record of issues close to my heart.

other people's blogs might serve other purpose, for me, i just want to keep things to myself, so that in years to come, when i look back at my entries, i will know these were the things that fascinated me, and those were what i went through, at that point of time, such things happened, and that was how i felt then.

i know everyone is open to their own perspective and things, and some choice of words used might be misinterpreted. if i try to clarify things, i feel, it would just make things worse, really.

so for the past few days, a very close friend of mine brought up an issue with something i wrote some time back. immediately after i received the "feedback", i was irrate, and thought i had to explain some things and clarify any doubts so as not to affect our friendship.

and i did just that.

now, looking back and reading post again, i think readers might have been mistaken by my choice of words. i don't want to specifically state the words, post, or anything. but i just want to tell all, that you might have got it wrong. that verbal explanation is best.

unlike people who uses blogs as a tool to hurt, i take absolutmilo as a site for me to express my desires and thoughts, in no way harming anyone, i hope. aggravated i may be, but i try not to be over opinionated unnecessarily. and i'm definitely not someone who pin points other's fault. i always express thoughts and concerns based on the majority's viewpoints. i don't mind if you say that i do not have my own stand. i have no problems with that. (although i must say that i actually have my viewpoints, but i never enforce it upon others).

at other details of the "feedback", all i can say, is that i feel dumb writing the reply back so fast. because after much thinking, i feel wronged. philosophically, though the person might not mean it that way, the whole feel of the entry gave me the weird sensation that they think of me in a complete different light, and that i'm but a wild thinker who lives in an unrealist world. (then again, i believe, too much details).. i feel bad being doubted. really. i cried last night when i thought of the issue again. what gave him or her such impression? why does he or she think that what i'm doing is so and so, and that everything was just my own indulgence and fantasy? do i need to? for the love i get, do i need to fake anything? what is the motive?

hurt. my mind is in a constant whirlwind over this "feedback". why. what has caused this utter distrust between friends? i am really sad and hurt.

but i'm not going let all this bring me and my life down. after typing this out, it makes me feel so good. i did not break any promise to myself. i will just carry on my normal life, enjoying my days and all that i'm busy with.

my life is always open for you to understand. its your choice whether or not to step into and be part/enjoy/view it. nothings gonna change. and everything is real. definitely. real!

miloboi says: "never felt so great and relieved."

:: unknowing ::

unknowingly
you have hurt me so much.
because of the words you said
in utter distrust,
did nothing to show the concern,
but instead
it made me think
over and over again,
about myself, my life and us
what actions did i commit?
that have made you doubt me so.
silence doesn't mean anything.
it just makes the situation awkward.
for we will keep guessing,
till we finally get an answer.
but who knows when that will happen?

:: thank you for being a part of my life ::

dearest willie dearie...

it might seem a little fast
when it all happens in a rush
our rapid development
flourishes into a powerful love
as we move on
into another phase of our relationship
I want to thank you
for everyday that you are here

we made a promise to each other
that we will always be there
now to take it to another level
i gave it much thought
to others it may seem nonchalant
or even unnecessary
but i know the meaning to you
and that's enough

its a long term contract
a special agreement
a long period before it comes through
but we shall let this time be
a test of our faith and responsibility to each other
before we finally commit ourselves
to prove our love.

for now
we shall work to that goal
showing the friends and family around us
our hearts bind as one
saying "i do"
baby, i love you...

lotsa love, hugs and kisses
Baby Isaac

Willie and Isaac . Commitment date: 24/5/08 . Our 3rd Month together

:: 中国第一公敌 ::

Sometimes, when we talk, we need to think.

some things we say or write might unknowingly hurt or harm others in ways we do not know.

this "jie jie" probably used her butt to think before she recorded the following comments,
which has ulitmately made her the joke of YouTube,
the enemy of all China chinese,
and probably the whole world.

As some parents like to scold their kids: "why should i have given birth to you, you silly boy."
this lady's parents (who should have heard of this clip by now)
could be knocking their head on the wall for their daughter being public nuisance,
and international disgrace.
they might be scolding: "my child, why did i give birth you? you should not have come into life!
(*******a million cursing words which should not see the daylight..)".

haiz~ internet and all..
please
do not do things in the rage of a moment.

think before you act.

:: Plug and Play ::

i enjoy the mobility a mac bring
together with my SingTel Broadband on Mobile
i can stay connected everywhere anytime
the only problem is
that the baterry runs out
so...
so..
fast

like now
i am struggling to complete my work matter
at a Pepper Lunch outlet at Central
and i can't find any small corners to steal
a power point so i can plug in
and not worry about being low
on energy...

give me power!!

:: 金曲獎 ::

第19屆金曲獎流行音樂類完整入圍名單

just to shout out a few names and songs and all i feel is honourable of the nominations.
(the ones i agree is bolded in red)

最佳年度歌曲獎
無與倫比的美麗《無與倫比的美麗》
達爾文I《Goodbye & Hello》
青花瓷《我很忙》
Love Song《Wonderland　未來》
逆光《逆光專輯》
一眼瞬間《STAR》

最佳國語專輯獎
《無與倫比的美麗》
《STAR》
《逆光》
《Goodbye & Hello》
《拉活...》
《我很忙》

最佳國語男歌手獎
陳奕迅／認了吧
TANK／延長比賽
信／我就是我
楊培安／楊培安II
曹格／Super Sunshine
方大同／Wonderland

最佳國語女歌手獎
張惠妹／STAR
孫燕姿／逆光
梁靜茹／崇拜
蔡健雅／Goodbye & Hello
莫文蔚／拉活...
蔡淳佳／慶幸擁有

最佳樂團獎
櫻桃幫／乖乖
這位太太／是誰
蘇打綠／無與倫比的美麗
旺福／旺福　青春舞曲
范曉萱 + 100%樂團／范曉萱 + 100%樂團
拷秋勤／拷！！出來了！！！

最佳演唱組合獎
大嘴巴／大嘴巴同名專輯
南拳媽媽／藏寶圖
SOLER／SOLER《X2》

this year's nomination list makes people scratch their heads again..
a very weak offering of nominees.. is this a change of period?
are these the new rising stars?

(soda green, Gary Chaw, Khalil Fang, Stephanie Sun, Tanya Chua, A*Mei shine brightest this year.)

may the best musician win! for complete nominations list, click here.

:: debate on love ::

Is it conceivable to love without feeling pain?
Can one be so attached that love numbs all?
To know the joy and the sadness
Of a union only heaven could have created.

But love and freedom are they the same ?
and does love tie the latter down in the game?
and O let me break the bond
and run far away before the morn.

My future my life I can decide
but like ebbing of the tide
I know myself, my place on the board
and as the knight, a battle I fought

tells me what i never had
and lacking it makes me feel bad
and only by returning me the limb i crave
will resurrect me from my grave.

Love and freedom, flip-sides of a coin
lacking the other, leaves us all forlorn
but love binds us closely with ropes and chains
tying us tightly, with rules to the game

So while we rest and roost in our little room
we too long to fly and chase the moon
Our restless spirit setting us in flight
breaking bonds of love embedded like night

But when we're finally free from pain and care
we wonder where's the love that once was there
Was it a price too bittersweet to pay
to undo the bonds and just fly away?

For we have regained but love is gone
with shadows remaining on a wintry morn.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

the above is a "poetry" that i've seemed to have co wrote with two others. I wrote a stenza, b read and decided to add another fraction, passing to c who decided to add her viewpoints. The above "heated argument" resulted. I just feel a little warmth, a little agony, a little recognition, a little pain. When do we understand what love really is? Or should I say is there a need to point fix love itself? Can it just be a universal freedom thing, with each his own interpretation? Will it be simpler like that? And more people will feel the bliss as to his own contentment. Feeling it. suddenly, I sang Phyllis Quek's song, freedom.

:: speed ::

it irks me
to see that
some thing happens so fast
and some people are just so so fast
that no one can catch up

this is an ever changing world
maybe
i've just got to deal with it
like a real man does
fast

:: realisation ::

opening my eyes
is what you did
to perceptions i did not notice
for i need to reflect somemore
on what I've truly done upon myself.

i love the simplicity.
and some of the acrobatics displayed.
but for one thing that i'm sure.
is that i'm always true to myself and all
that i'm proud of.

the world is constantly changing.
without a doubt i'm too.
many of a time
we speak at the urge to
unknowingly hurting people as we do.

realisation of our actions
and every word we spoke of
hoping that its not too late
maybe we can't take it back
but at least we can apologise.

sincerely

:: congratulations ::

congratulations to David Cook for winning American Idol.

congratulations to David Archuleta for being runner up. (i still prefer you)

congratulations to Parvati for winning Survivor.

congratulations to Ozzy, Erik and Natalie (Survivor Micronesia)
for making it thus far. (i hearts all of you)

congratulations to all those who got a place in NTU Halls next year.. (although i hate you, i shall reserve that, and pray i will get my room.. fingers crossed)

congratulations to myself for making it to NDP'08.

and hopefully
i will prioritise my things, right.

hearfelt congratulations.
and thanks for making my life more beautiful.

:: turning my days upside down ::

this holidays is weird
because on many days
i've been sleeping at three a.m.
and not doing much for the rest of the day
and watching much of the google box
especially in the evenings
thought i'm so so busy
but for now..
let me slack a little first
its the holidays after all..

:: to one of my best friend ::

thank you.

for making me feel everything in a different light.

for making me see things beyond superficial.

for being so true to me.

for trying to understanding me.

for your care and concern.

for being my friend.

i hope to clarify your doubts, and to be able to understand each other more.
i'm not sure if after this, will we really be able to see eye to eye on matters.
but i know that you tried. and i try. and we try, together.

i'm sorry if my words hurt you.

but more often than not,
this blog is just a diary to myself,
a way of remembering my emotions at a certain point of time,
in no way way am i trying to exclaim any annoyance to anyone.

dearest bestest friend,

you will always be.

i hearts you!!

:)

:: Busy days ahead ::

the next month or so is going to be really really busy for me!

here's a sneak peak at the key events I need to get settled...

:: Arts Festival Volunteering - I devoted 20 nights of my June holidays to Singapore Arts Festival, stationing myself on most weekday nights, and some weekend evenings at Raffles City outdoor festival maze.. so.. yup..

:: hall 4 dnd - desginers.. loads of work to be done now.. argh..

:: epiphany - performance in august.. we gotta buck up and start preparing for our big public showcase!

:: runs - runs make me wake up, to be healthier, to enjoy the adrenaline rush.. coming up, Sundown marathon (volunteer only actually), Singapore Passion Run (8/6/08), Mizuno Mount Faber Run (15/6/08), Army Half Marathon (august)

:: NDP usher volunteer - Yup. I'll be involved in NDP 2008 as an usher.. So fun! Lol.. But that mean many saturday mornings burnt.. but to celebrate with the nation, all worth it..

:: special sem - although my lessons will end next tuesday, but there is still a exam on 11 june.. ooh.. achitectural appreciation in civil engineering.. its fun!

:: CAC FOC -coming in mid july 2008. yeah! its time to have some fun again!

:: ntu hall 4 foc - i'm suppose to be a programmer, i think.. but no news yet.. yet..

:: work.. no news as yet regarding the interviewing job, but i think i should be getting it la..

:: holiday.. I'm planning to go on a holiday by myself this july. a backpack kinda thing. still contemplating. i wana go taiwan. its like my biggest dream.

:: SPH singing contest.. yup.. the semi's in june too.. but.. i feel so tired. haha..

i'm not one who plans things ahead. i'm bad at organising my life, so i really dunno how i'm gonna manage when we do really set up a events management company.. haha..

i hope my holidays will be put to good good use, and i'll enjoy it..

:: family guy ::

not as close to the life that I completely dreamt of
but better than none
I hope that all this
which is happening so so fast
is not just a sensation
and that it will last forever

being able to hold your hands tightly
and to be closely bound in your arms
feeling your every heartbeat
sensing your muscles twig
probably dreaming what you dream as well
having you drip little droplets of saliva on my neck
tingling to your every breath
hearing your subtle snores
every night.

waking up to see you staring at me
sometimes having you shake me awake
to enjoy a kiss and both tolerating each other's unbrushed teeth
it still smells to fresh
brushing your newly grown stubles on my bare shoulders
and whispering "good morning"
helps me start the day right!

weekends of playing in the bathroom
with shaving cream and shampoo
then a cold shower while we rub each others back
and playing with water in the tub.

breakfast might be a simple coffee n bread
or tea with scones
each with half slab of butter and one sweetener
i prefer weekends though
where we can whip up something yummier
like the pancake we did last week

waiting at the bus stop for the bus to come
and when either comes
we bade farewell
and start missing each other for the rest of the day

innocently sweet sms-es keeps us going
when phone calls can't be made
but I understand that should not disturb you at work

after my day of fun at school or Orchard
I get home to surf the net or just laze around
awaiting for your return
or to meet you for dinner
like a little pet dog
wishing upon his master's return

meeting you again after work
greeting you with a nice shoulder rub on the arm chair
and seeing the weary look on your face slowly peel off
and the smile climbing back on
it just so makes my day

dinner at home can be fun
with bro T in tow
as we cook up a storm in the kitchen
preparing feasts of different cuisines
ethnicity and cultures bound together
to tantalise our palatte

or ending the day with a hearty meal at a swanky restaurant
italian, japanese, american or true blue chinese
sometimes with little surprises
like a cake or a little present
sweetens up everything

evening runs on regular basis
makes us both sweaty and healthy
smelling each others sweat
just perks us both up, more

nothing beats the night ending
as tired feets rest
as we catch up on the world
in front of our Macs
listening to our favourite music
as we play with facebook
or challenge each other on Viwawa

simple actions
like when I concentrate on reading and clearing my emails
you come from the back
and give me a tender warm hug
feeling my bulging belly
reminding me its exercise time tomorrow

we kiss and look at each other
and just once in a while
get all rough on the bed
feeling love for one another
amidst the cries and shouts and little pleasantries

if we aren't too tired
we share a warm bath together
before tugging each other on bed
and letting the night slip away

waiting for weekends
where apart from the heavy workloads and normal routines
we get out in the sun
and enjoy a day at the beach
at your buddies Mahjong table
or even at the mall
wasting our youth away
enjoying every moment

such innocent weekend nights
spend drinking at clubs bars or pubs
enjoying music
and sharing wonderful little nuggets about life in the week

i enjoyed it
every bit of everyday being with you
by yourside
being yours.

looking back
its been three weeks
just looking forward to being your baby

soon..
it will be our third month together
i see a future now
one that we both want to behold
and enjoy

I know you treasure it
and I want to so much

:: pain ::

for you
I suffer in silence
at a lost of words
to describe the agony
of not being able to be love
maybe you might not know
or you may never know
but the way the claw etch
the deepest scar in my memory
is so painful
that I am numbed
and knowing the absolute possibility
that everything cannot rewind
is hurting me so much

:: cream of chicken ::

My rare late lunch at pizza hut today gave me a pleasant surprise. Look at the over generous amount of chicken slices in the soup. First of its kind.

:: temperature change ::

The notice on the "under repair" water "cooler" at my hall says: work in progress. Hot water dispenser under maintenance. Sorry for the inconvenience caused. Oh no.. My favourite water dispenser under major revamp. Its gonna be a hot water dispenser.. How? Lol.. To hall office staff: please check the notice before putting up..

:: desires of an only child ::

went out a whole day with dearie and family
and enjoyed family life so much more
how I really wished this was my family
and i had brothers to talk to
and rant to, not just being so lonely here on blog

we shared many things in common
for we both loved music
and prefered chinese songs and taiwan show
unlike big brother, who seems so atas..

we liked sweet stuffs,
food and drinks
japanese sushi and coke zero
and endless Far East shopping

we prefered bus to mrt
and definitely loved taxis
and we both liked clothes from topman
which big bro thinks is too "street"

we are good in chinese
and often screwed up A Maths
we dream of being journalist and teachers
though our English results always differ from normal performance

to think of it
we are really like brothers
and we have decided to meet up for lunches, coffee, shopping and exploring more often

guess what
big bro = 31
me = 22
lil' bro = 17

wonder how the world is constructed
but i know
friends have no age limits
and family tie is always so special
i hope

:: Free ::

Sitting by the windows
i gaze at the sky
seeing the clouds go by

never have i imagined
if i could be free as a bird
or live on the farm with a herd

singing the songs i like
enjoying a glass of wine
for at the bay i dine

similarities i dare to think of
but the true happiness
or random blissfulness

is more often not found
because i know
dreams are made like that
to tell us
life is just like that

(and hopefully not too sad)

:: ability ::

i know i can
therefore i am
or so you say
to make my day

how far i dream
till the end of beam
the ray of hope
i persevere, i cope

some people say
to not think to wildly
but i believe
to go far
i shall let my imagination run
every corner of the world
where there is light
there is love
of mine

:: prince ::

all who wish to live
a life of their own
in a palace of dream
with a courtyard so beautiful
but who has the chance
to live up to it
for there is a thin line
between reality
and the fantasy facade in mind

actually
the difference in being a prince
or a pauper
lies just that the prince knows how to be happy
and the pauper is constantly searching
or contentment
which probably is always in the hands of
the prince he dreams to be

clutched so tightly
that no one will attain
it

:: 302 ::

Wow..

this is my 302th post on this blog

in less than two years.

nothing much, just wana say thank you to my friends who bother to pop by once in a while

to know what I am doing

hear my rants

see my photos

sharing my special moments

and being part of my life

i won't know who you are unless you tag

but I want to thank you

(why make this comment on post number 302?
no special meaning actually..
just that i missed post no. 300..
haha..)

:: Lewis ::

Yesterday
I faced the most number of Lewis in my life.
and i have given up..
stop letting me hear the name lewis anymore..
so anyting to do with it..
it is becoming irritating.

Lionel Lewis :: Singapore National Soccer Team Goal keeper
C S Lewis :: Author, Chronicles of Narnia series
Lewis Blake :: American Idol 2007 runner-up
most importantly::
Leona Lewis :: Singer of hit album Spirit, containing the song Bleeding Love

i admit i love "bleeding love" and the whole album, its great, really..
but if every store you go to plays the album
and you keep hearing the same voice/song every corner you go in the small Singapore
you will really get pissed off! lol..

i sincerely hope not to hear anymore Lewis for the next few days..
though i believe I will unknowingly play Bleeding Love on my iPod later...

:: standing by ::

we stood by each other

through different times

both tough and good

sharing joy and pain

but there comes a time

when we must say goodbye

for that is reality

though we hate to face it

honesty and sincerity

more often heard than seen

true qualities lies ahead

as a test of time

it is after tedious hours

and understanding each other

over the facade that we see

that we can know

who are the true friends

who will not be swayed

by others opinions

and stand by you

always

--------------------

after i wrote the above, i suddenly felt a weird sourly feeling in my heart. 

the feeling was simply weird.

like it felt so close to my heart.

here's shouting out to my friend.

to those whom I really cherish but seems to have drifted.

hope we can still be friends.

and that you will take the initiative.

to return.

:: friend ::

looking through my mobile

seeing all the names

probably

its time to do some editing

clearing memory space.

but there are also a few

who just seems there to spike you

you know u need the number

but yet

you seem to have some grievances with them.

argh.

in my case

there is a couple

who seems to want to drift away from the main group

the reason i do not know

maybe because i was once close to them

that people view me now still as very close with them

but that is not the case now

well

i shall wait and see

but i shall not be so pro active

for in this world

i've come to realise 

that friends come and go

like

that

:: my favourite family routine ::

being so tempted by Nuffnang and the fantastic prizes, I've decided to write this entry.
even if not for the prizes, i feel obliged to contribute to the National Family Day next Sunday.
I really hope to go and enjoy a day out with my mummy.

well, here it goes.

My family is rather small.. haha.. because there's onli my mummy and i.. but my extended family sounds much better.. with my maternal aunts, cousins and grandmother..

as most people week on weekdays and even in the day on weekends.. its not often that we can meet up together..

so given the opportunity, on weekends where we can meet up, we would go out for drives to special places, parks and beaches.. i especially love sentosa, people think its touristy but i beg to differ..

I love such cool family moments to in tow wif my ah ma, my aunts n uncles, my cousins and my nephews and nieces..

this happens once every two months or about so.

we would each prepare some good fod, and have a picnic (if in the day) or a barbeque, if at night..

more than 20 people, playing together and singing songs (my cousins n i love to sing.. n one of my cousin plays guitar).. we would hold like a mini concert singing all sorts of songs, from Mandopop to rihanna's umbrella.. lol

then we would tuck in to the great food.. all the motherly figures are good cooks so we always get well fed. altho the cousins now we are all in our twenties, but we still enjoy being together.. gossiping, and talking rubbish, about our social life especially.

games by beach n swimming if possible is the best..

on wetter days, just a few of us will be tucked in my grandma's house playing Mahjong.. and followed by young people's nights out at a club!

but the best is still when the whole family is together to enjoy each other's company. just seeing each person there makes me feel good and bright!

night dinners and restaurant exploration ends a good and fun day out, where we give a treat to the older generation..

this simple days out as a whole big family is rare and i feel unique.

you dun have to make it elaborate. for the togetherness is most special!

next week, hope everyone will spend some time with your family., and make use of National Family day, and cherish your family members while we still can.. appreciate the love. appreciate the opportunities life brings..

:: celebration ::

everyday
we celebrate life
with food and drinks
and happy conversations
about life itself
even with some rantings
for we enjoy being ourselves
and
being with the ones we love

:: techno221 photos galore ::

decided that since i'm quite free, i shall not be so lazy. so i shall upload all the photos today.. haha

super random.. but this is the "takeaway bento set" from kitchen mogu mogu at far east plaza.. kawaii ne!

chocolate panna cotta and raspberry panna cotta on top, vanilla creme brule and strawberry fondue.. delicious and satisfying sweet dessert tapas from Bakerzin.. part of Techno221 fabulous dessert buffet!
and more.. beautiful cupcakes from Coffee Bean and Tealeaf, plus Starwberry shortcake from bakerzin!


above: rose macarons
below: opera macarons..
all from bakerzin.. diabetically wonderfully nice!! final installment of desserts buffet..


isaac.. haha..

phototaking background..

decorative curtain..
techno221 messages board.. before the messages are put up!
weizhi and isaac.. weizhi.. my newest bff.. haha.. "tanxinshi" friend.. he popped by for awhile onli..
then the food.. from botak jones..
above: cajun chicken burger.. sinfully good..
below: fried fish fillet.. very well marinated and fried.. oooh..

above: potato salad.. with eggs and more.. full of omph!
below: mexican buffalo wings.. packed with punch..
and still got a whole pot of American Iced tea.. great!!!
isaac and his party ulitmate dessert buffet!
isaac n yihao.. whose birthday is always celebrated together since 3 years ago..
isaac n weilun.. ex-roomie
weixiang n isaac.. bmt mate
chinhuat n isaac.. lim family.. (lame..)
the 3 bestest pjc friends..
tingshu.. my cac foc friend, anderson's hall foc friend, weizhi's sec sch friend.. complicated huh?
anderson.. my engineering year 1 partner in crime..
sir seng.. my army friend.. shi cheng liu dian ban..
ronnie and isaac

(while uploading more photos.. i wanna comment.. that i look better in contacts.. and i look younger in contacts.. agree with me please.. lol.. tt nite got people say i dun look 22 lo.. looks below 20.. hahahahahahaha!!)

isaac, cousin carolyn n david..
isaac, jianrong n julia ah ma..
isaac n yihao
isaac n darius
isaac n chengyee
isaac n adrina
isaac n jason
isaac n eric
scenes at celebration

the following are completely random photos i found in my camera taken by my friends.. lol..

:: shopping spree ::

i went to Isetan and Topman closed door private sale today.
and grabbed clothes, bags, watches, underwears and spent more than $500.

WOW!

but i really enjoyed myself.

although the queues were Looooooooonnnng...

and damn frustrating.

but looking at the amount of money I saved, i felt good.. or should i say, great!

Give Isaac retail therapy.. anytime!

:: the happiness of being with you ::

i asked dearie more than 20 times..
why does he think settling down needs to be a "celebration" witnessed by friends and family?
is there such a need?
why is there the need for a "church wedding"?
vows?
the imminent statement of faitfulness and loyalty between two?
i just don't quite get it.
can't we meet "partnered" happily
and lead the simple "coupled" life that we both want without a significant ceremony?
if we have to save and plan for such an elaborate occasion
and after that to be "pronounced" as a couple
why can't we just make a vow right now between he two of us and acknowledge our "marriage" or "union"?

what's the difference?
especially when we will never (in the near future) be recognised in the Singapore law.
that cert we sign and the vow we make will always just be a cert and vow.

i know where you are coming from.
that you want to formalise it. to live your dream.
but.. i don't know.. as much as i love you and want to be with you.
i don't know what tomorrow holds.
and more importantly
i don't know if my parents will ever accept.

at this point
i cannot act rashly

i'm not ready.
for now

:: lazy ::

feeling lazy these few days
even after the party
don't really know why
but i suddenly feel i lost a big aim in life...
hahahaha

it feels nice to be with my dearie again
love love love.. hehe
this is so completely random
although the situation between the two of us are quite strange now
because we are so lovey dovey..
yet..
because of a statement/request he mentioned earlier today
i just feel.. strange
i dun noe how to face it
really.. i need time.. not ready yet..

i really wanna upload the photos we took last weekend..
but i feel lazy now.. yup..
will find one good and fine days to do it.. soon..:)

for now.. my aim will be tmr.. to go Isetan sale and topman sale (both private ones)..
will be spending quite a sum.. oops..

haiz~
suddenly there is a big mish mash of things going on now
and my hall dnd stuffs i need to settle.. hmm.. holiday leh.. busy busy busy..

lazy lazy lazy..

what to do? hope to be enjoy this weekend first!

clubbing weekend this weekend ahead.. play, st james.. yup..

i just want to be happy..

maybe..

maybe..

its TIME!!!

:: will you marry me? ::

yes?
what do i say?
when?
how?
why?

i was not surprised about the question
just that i am surprised at the timing
and how random

i felt alienated
in Singapore?
well...

give me some time

i am but an innocent Singaporean boy
i'm not prepared to settle down, yet... i think..

:: knowing ::

am I very shy, conservative or even closeted?
i believe not
many, or should i say, most of my friends know about me
but yet, the real "friends" i have in the community who I can talk to, go out with, have coffee with, go shopping with, play mahjong with, go k box with, is so few.. so so few..

in fact, none.

do i know who i really am?
am i comfortable with myself completely?
i do not know the answer to that

why is it at sometimes i still can't stand (feel irritated by those) who have extreme feminine behaviour? aren't they part of the clan?

why is it i seem to have many friend, but i can't lead the wonderful fun filled lifestyle that i see friends like jasen n samuel lead? pardon me for using real name examples..

is there a standard that i have to live up to? or is it just because i set too high an expectation for myself?

however, i just want to be myself and enjoy myself.

to be fitted into the community and enjoying myself as who i really am..

:: same ::

i may think different
be different
feel different
look different
but we all are the same
as humans..
we need people
who can fit into the jagged age of our lives
to piece a complete jigsaw

:: lofty ambitions ::

a thousand words cannot describe
the way I want to fly
to the highest mountains
before reaching the sky.

a thousand possibility holds
the things that I can do
for when I have the ability
forward is the only way to go.

aplenty dreams I always have
over ambitious my friends say
but that is why I live
for nothing can keep me at bay.

a night's sleep is what I need
for it to be in peace and calm
away from all the trouble and calamity
and the world will be in my palm.

:: Just the two of Us ::

Throwing my past behind
I strive to look ahead
Not a bed of roses
Not even a bed.

Tough roads hold a meaning
That we oft oversee
Tough times make us stronger
So we can be free.

To live our lives with zest
In moments tough or not
For no failure daunts us
In the battles we've fought.

The story's just begun
And will it ever end ?
No one knows, no one cares,
For this' pure Godsend.

:: i can ::

if i can
change this world completely
i would want to live my life again
and appreciate the people around me more
show more love
and be there
and add meaning
to life

:: thanks ::

thank you to all my great friends for coming to my party
although i feel a little disappointed
that the attendance was way below my expectation.

but all your conversations
and laughter you bring
the smiles on your face
and the random words of appreciation makes me feel really happy

frustrations filled my mind and myself throughout the days leading to the event itself
and even at the event itself
i felt lonely without my bestest friends beside
and that some wonderful things just didn't go as planned

however
I am still very happy
really

to team techno: thank you guys for being my greatest friends.. i owe u guys tonnes.. love love love.. muacks! we should always work together.. to our ultimate aim.. here we go..!!

to all fellow sponsors: thank you all for your kind support and monetary aid and moral encouragement you all have provided. without them, i believe i cud not have had all this!

to Ronnie and YiHao: Thank you for accompanying me.. your help is really really really appreciated..

thank you to my cousin carolyn and friend david: thank you for coming.. did not entertain u guys much.. must have disappointed u guys.. hope to have more fun on 18th! :)

to my dearest friends from 3238.. ronnie, weizhi, anderson and sir seng.. thank you for taking time off and for the wonderful present.. I LOVE IT.. really! weizhi.. u really no my taste.. to all u guys.. friends always..

to ting shu: thank you for coming.. treasure u this great friend!

to my chestnut pals cheng yee, darius, jason, julia, jian rong, yihao..
thanks so so much for being here and let me know that i have friend in you.. u guys are fantastic..

to weixiang.. : thank you for taking time off to be here.. and thank u for the prezzie.. thanks for being my friend.. :)

to mike: thanks for dropping by.. appreciate it.. friends:)

to chin huat n weilun: thank you so so much for being here today.. u guys are great.. thanks so so much.. friends always..

to adrina n eric.. u guys are really special friends to me.. appreciate u guys for coming!!! thanks for accompanying me thru the nite too..

thank thank thank thank thank..

i can't thank u all any more..

i dunno if i will have another party for now..

but i know i will have all u friends..

and i appreciate it loads..

love all!

hope to see u all soon....

:: peace ::

i am at peace
with myself
a serene feeling
quiet and silent
completely no burden
and happy
upon realisation
of the love i feel
bliss
calm
like a floating cloud

:: reasoning ::

filled with angst
trashing opponents
vulgarities flying through the air
each showing his heir
to be victorious
based on notorious
just one
is it right?
stand on viewpoint
probability
almost zero

:: backache ::

for the whole night
I finally saw what my friends have planned for my party this weekend
and we sat together to do preparation.

the whole night was really fast
as we did simple art and craft
but it was really tiring

hope everyone will enjoy
the goodie bags, games and decoration

so exciting!

:: possibility ::

open to options
may be
but I still see
ruling out the ones
that is deemed unfit
for this is a world
where we keep open
with opportunities
aplenty

:: ambiguity ::

it all started with a chat
then a message
another chat
and nights of chat

then it moved to conversations
life conversations
little nothing conversations
that lasted through the night

from ten minutes of time
to twenty minutes
before i knew it
I was sharing my life

but what was he to me?
a friend?
or was it more than that?
ambiguity
the feeling of not knowing too much feels so awkward at times
but
how are you going to ask?

所谓
暧昧让人受尽委屈

:: appreciating buildings ::

at my first architecture appreciation class
surprisingly, i met friends
from epiphany

and i listened for 5 hours
about the pictures we saw
of buildings and landscapes
interesting architecture and designs
planning of towns and more
materials and irrigation
sewage and life
and i almost dozed off..

but more often
I am stunned by the buildings photos
magnificent ones..
awe-inspiring

tomorrow we will get down to drawing
i hope to draw my dream house at the end of four weeks
like one which i can spend with my dearie
enjoying the simple life that we all look forward to

:: viewing the viewty world ::

i like new things
i love to think that i'm a tech geek (not)
i like to lay my hands on the latest stuffs and think that I am cool, haha
desperate to spend money frivolously
i bought my new viewty
and forgot my vow previously not to change mobile phone brands..
now i'm so stuck on sony ericsson phone modules and functions
i feel like and idiot with my viewty, despite having used someone elses for some time now..

i keep telling myself that I dun want to change over to my viewty yet
then why did i buy it for? "bai swee ah"?

probably..

i feel that it is so so empty and dun have the favourite stuffs and functions that I am so used to on my k800i cybershot.. how how how??

i need to make a change..

transitions..

we all hate it..

:: internal ::

sensational feeling fills my heart
i felt a thug
but yet did not know what to do

music flows into my veins
the tempo gets me up on my feet
before I froze after seeing you

pain fills my mind
after love ripped me apart
now i see

myself
me
in a
different
light

:: guilt ::

the pleasure of being pleasured
the fulfillment of one's desire
the uncertainty of the other party
the reality of omnipresence
your heart feels in one way
your action is diverted
and you are doing what you like but not hope
feeling guilty
or/
not