:: now till then ::

the silence fills up the room
as scholarly souls enter and go
he sits alone at a table
wondering of the things that happen.

years and months and weeks go by
in a blink of an eye
not knowing what happens next
working hard for something unknown.

endless possibilities await
the one who pursues it hard
but each has his own will
but road is not always equal.

he who dreams of one
might be working on yet another
the constant perseverence
does it quintessentially result in the best?

he knows that aspirations
are to be clean forgotten
for he is striving towards another goal
that of the society's.

May happiness be bestowed upon him
that can only be known
if he sees the end result
for he feels forgotten by the world

and because
he has forgotten himself already.

:: I will be there ::

When your song echoes
in that forgotten corridor
a melody that lingers
but no one hears
I'll be there to listen, to feel,
I will lend my ears

When your cries erupt
in the nonchalant night
The tears that fall,
No one's in sight
I'll be there to wipe,
to feel,
I will bring the light

I will be there,
I will be there
When the crowd disperses
I will be there
I will be there, I will be there
When the show ends,
I will
be
there

When you feet grows weak
in the summit climb,
your energy sapped,
loneliness sublime,
I'll be there to carry,
to feel,
I will be your limbs

When your stature's clouded
by those with spite,
Don't be afraid,
have no respite
I'll be there to defend,
to feel,
I'll be by your side

I will be there
I will be there
When the crowd disperses,
I will be there.
I will be there
I will be there
When the show curtains,
the audience parted,
You will look to see
I will be there

When your body turns cold
in the end of days
The rest will stand solemn
as you go away
Till the last moments
ashes scattered into air

I will
I will, I will,
I will
...
Be
...
There
...

:: goodbye ::

it's always hard to turn around
and bid farewell
to the things that we have grown used to.

for all the laughters we share
and the little comforting corners
of which fond memories will always be there

gossip amongst friends
and pictures with the landscape
will be imprinted deep in mind

more often than none
that we choose to believe
this parting is but temporary

however sometimes, just sometimes
we just don't know
that the goodtimes are gone

and the possibility
of meeting again are slim
and the farewell was forever.

so from now on
I shall treasure each moment i spent
with you, my dearest friend.

:: noble ::

i am a knight
coming to save your day
from the evil clutches of society
that makes you go crazy

i am your prince
coming to set you free
for you may not see
the dangers ahead of you

i am your mother
so you wish to be
don't be stupid
I know what's good for you

everybody tries to be noble
to help other people
see things in a different way
it all may not be...

:: debate on love ::

Is it conceivable to love without feeling pain?
Can one be so attached that love numbs all?
To know the joy and the sadness
Of a union only heaven could have created.

But love and freedom are they the same ?
and does love tie the latter down in the game?
and O let me break the bond
and run far away before the morn.

My future my life I can decide
but like ebbing of the tide
I know myself, my place on the board
and as the knight, a battle I fought

tells me what i never had
and lacking it makes me feel bad
and only by returning me the limb i crave
will resurrect me from my grave.

Love and freedom, flip-sides of a coin
lacking the other, leaves us all forlorn
but love binds us closely with ropes and chains
tying us tightly, with rules to the game

So while we rest and roost in our little room
we too long to fly and chase the moon
Our restless spirit setting us in flight
breaking bonds of love embedded like night

But when we're finally free from pain and care
we wonder where's the love that once was there
Was it a price too bittersweet to pay
to undo the bonds and just fly away?

For we have regained but love is gone
with shadows remaining on a wintry morn.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

the above is a "poetry" that i've seemed to have co wrote with two others. I wrote a stenza, b read and decided to add another fraction, passing to c who decided to add her viewpoints. The above "heated argument" resulted. I just feel a little warmth, a little agony, a little recognition, a little pain. When do we understand what love really is? Or should I say is there a need to point fix love itself? Can it just be a universal freedom thing, with each his own interpretation? Will it be simpler like that? And more people will feel the bliss as to his own contentment. Feeling it. suddenly, I sang Phyllis Quek's song, freedom.

:: pain ::

for you
I suffer in silence
at a lost of words
to describe the agony
of not being able to be love
maybe you might not know
or you may never know
but the way the claw etch
the deepest scar in my memory
is so painful
that I am numbed
and knowing the absolute possibility
that everything cannot rewind
is hurting me so much

:: Free ::

Sitting by the windows
i gaze at the sky
seeing the clouds go by

never have i imagined
if i could be free as a bird
or live on the farm with a herd

singing the songs i like
enjoying a glass of wine
for at the bay i dine

similarities i dare to think of
but the true happiness
or random blissfulness

is more often not found
because i know
dreams are made like that
to tell us
life is just like that

(and hopefully not too sad)

:: ability ::

i know i can
therefore i am
or so you say
to make my day

how far i dream
till the end of beam
the ray of hope
i persevere, i cope

some people say
to not think to wildly
but i believe
to go far
i shall let my imagination run
every corner of the world
where there is light
there is love
of mine

:: standing by ::

we stood by each other

through different times

both tough and good

sharing joy and pain

but there comes a time

when we must say goodbye

for that is reality

though we hate to face it

honesty and sincerity

more often heard than seen

true qualities lies ahead

as a test of time

it is after tedious hours

and understanding each other

over the facade that we see

that we can know

who are the true friends

who will not be swayed

by others opinions

and stand by you

always

--------------------

after i wrote the above, i suddenly felt a weird sourly feeling in my heart. 

the feeling was simply weird.

like it felt so close to my heart.

here's shouting out to my friend.

to those whom I really cherish but seems to have drifted.

hope we can still be friends.

and that you will take the initiative.

to return.

:: same ::

i may think different
be different
feel different
look different
but we all are the same
as humans..
we need people
who can fit into the jagged age of our lives
to piece a complete jigsaw

:: lofty ambitions ::

a thousand words cannot describe
the way I want to fly
to the highest mountains
before reaching the sky.

a thousand possibility holds
the things that I can do
for when I have the ability
forward is the only way to go.

aplenty dreams I always have
over ambitious my friends say
but that is why I live
for nothing can keep me at bay.

a night's sleep is what I need
for it to be in peace and calm
away from all the trouble and calamity
and the world will be in my palm.

:: Just the two of Us ::

Throwing my past behind
I strive to look ahead
Not a bed of roses
Not even a bed.

Tough roads hold a meaning
That we oft oversee
Tough times make us stronger
So we can be free.

To live our lives with zest
In moments tough or not
For no failure daunts us
In the battles we've fought.

The story's just begun
And will it ever end ?
No one knows, no one cares,
For this' pure Godsend.

:: i can ::

if i can
change this world completely
i would want to live my life again
and appreciate the people around me more
show more love
and be there
and add meaning
to life

:: peace ::

i am at peace
with myself
a serene feeling
quiet and silent
completely no burden
and happy
upon realisation
of the love i feel
bliss
calm
like a floating cloud

:: reasoning ::

filled with angst
trashing opponents
vulgarities flying through the air
each showing his heir
to be victorious
based on notorious
just one
is it right?
stand on viewpoint
probability
almost zero

:: possibility ::

open to options
may be
but I still see
ruling out the ones
that is deemed unfit
for this is a world
where we keep open
with opportunities
aplenty

:: internal ::

sensational feeling fills my heart
i felt a thug
but yet did not know what to do

music flows into my veins
the tempo gets me up on my feet
before I froze after seeing you

pain fills my mind
after love ripped me apart
now i see

myself
me
in a
different
light

:: guilt ::

the pleasure of being pleasured
the fulfillment of one's desire
the uncertainty of the other party
the reality of omnipresence
your heart feels in one way
your action is diverted
and you are doing what you like but not hope
feeling guilty
or/
not

:: bleeding / love? ::

warm red blood
unlike drool
flowed down my hands
as i cut myself so deep
trying to erase memories

before i realised
that the imprint
is permanent
and it reminds me more
of the love we shared
or I never had

:: the meaning of lonely ::

sat there
gazing at the stars
with or without you
the difference is
comfort
existence
knowledge of accompaniment

but at the same time
can feel lonely
because physically there
but heart is not

where am I?