:: Piling . Troubles ::

i've got everything piling up the way it shouldn't be
and as i look back
I really haven't changed for the better
the way it ought to have gone..
oh no..

troubles are all piling up my way
5 weeks in school and entering the 6th
I am just afraid that I've taken on a little too much!
(once again..)

I've got educational trouble..
organisational trouble..
sports and physical trouble..
monetary trouble..
relationship trouble..

heres a summary..

education troubles:
-project piling up, especially for HW210.. its a sucky project, though it seems essential..
-tutorials.. they are secretly piling up, and I seemed to have missed a lesson or two sometimes..
-thus leading up to missed tutorials and lectures.. notice the s behind? oh no.. how? i need to seek the real importance and the meaning of studies in life for myself and prioritise. plan my life properly..
-and because i've missed the above, the tests coming up will be damn fierce. though it might juz be tests, but things add up, and i hope it will not be in a bad way. I'm going all out to mend these holes, i promise!
-I need to buck up of my school work, desperately..

organisational troubles..
-as u may know,
I have joined a few main committees this year after a bad year in onli sub-committees last year. and as they say, the job is fiercer. oh no.. so the work is really getting heavier and i need to "wake up" my idea and get things done so as to not fail or give up in any of the projects..
anyways, the election for Epiphany main com is tomorrow! yeah! fingers crossed!
(I've currently got CAC JDC and Impresario to take care of.. both PnP posts.. well well)

sports and physical trouble..

-I am fat
-I am unfit
-I've got IPPT coming
-I've not trained well enough..
-I can only run (long distance, not 2.4 n 4X10m..)
-I got tedious dragonboat training which i hope helps.
-i've regular runs thanks to a certain person..
-I am still fat despite trainings and my physiques in not building up.
-i hate that!

monetary troubles...
-really, officially, i am POOR.
-i'm near bankrupt.
-my 4 bank accounts are running on less than 2 or 3 figure sums.
-my three credit cards are running on debts.
-i'm afriad each time the statement comes each months.
-why does time past so fast?
-where am i going to get money to pay
-why am i still in the blur and keep spending endlessly without the constant effort to thrift and spend less despite knowing i HAVE to?
-i am officially a "ka-nu" slave to my cards

relationship troubles:
-for those who do not know
-i've got a 31 year old partner
-who is quite prominent in the circle due to some unspecified reason
-who is desperate to get into a stable "family environment"
-but travels around the world for holiday/work so so often
-and loves sports to much that pressurizes me..
-he is a freakin' 6-pac believer
-and a uber IT professional and closetted entrepreneur wanabe
-who happens to have a military background.
-and is a guy.
-the trouble?
-well..
it is about me acknowledging his existance to my friends
-who might be able to take it, or may be homophobics..
-another challenge:
-he takes care of me too well.
-i feel insecure
-yet he offers a great sense of security
-and now officially wants to have an official "union"
-but it sounds good. but i dun know what will happen next time.
-or even the near future.
-i'm afraid of my poisition in school, friends, family, society...

troubles...