:: a new year ::

WOW! 2010 has been a whirl! and it has been quite good. learnt a lot. about myself. about the people around me. about the world. about life.

In a capsule:


*Loved. Happy. Blessed. Loved.

*Improved a lot in terms of studies. Faced wake up call. Will strive harder.

*Back injury. Slipped disc made quite a bit take a back seat. Hope to improve in the new year. Go back to sports.

*Gained weight. A lot. Linked to the above. Haiz~

*Had quite some bit of exposure on TV. Will continue in the early weeks of 2011. Catch me on Wednesdays on Let's Talk!

*Made more friends. Opened up. Know more people. More willing to talk.

*Wasted a lot of money. In crisis. Hope to resolve financial problems soon.




Since i'm on this, i shall just make my 2011 new year resolution!

1) Work really hard on studies, push GPA above 3.6

2) Be more financial knowledgeable. Spend wisely. Part with luxury and be less materialistic.

3) Treasure people around me. Love people more. Stop being the lonely one. Talk!

4) Be caution of style. Look good. Carve out an identity of myself.

5) Get healthy. Go back to running and dragonboating. Those pacs, aim high!

6) Eat little. Real little. (tie up with 5)

7) Set a goal, and keep to it. Stop being lazy. And keep my promises. Complete all tasks, well and fast!

8) Get that license! Must!

9) Save up save up save up! (tie up with 2)

10) Start a life. Really. Stop acting like a young kid. Feel young. But be mature. And be a complete wholesome person that people will look up, respect, and maybe, idolise. Live my dream!

All might be simple. But all I need is to set the goals, and go for them.

Have a great close to 2010, look forward, and splash into the great new year!

Happy new year all my friends! Love you!

”很好看“《等一等爱情》媒体发布会＋预映会 Part 1

Really excited to have been able to be part of Channel U's new original movie media conference and exclusive screening, rubbing shoulders with the leads Joanne Peh and my idol Julian Hee!

《等一等爱情》是U频道2010年原创电影系列的第一部，

诉说林克勤（许立桦饰）和祖儿（白薇秀饰）

两人错综复杂，为期10年的故事。

在媒体发布会上，两人分享了拍戏的过程和自己在剧中的角色。

电影在11天内拍成。这段时间，演员们过的无日无夜，

但过程非常开心。Joanne透露，由于和Julian的默契十足，拍摄时非常愉快。

每一天虽然都拍到很晚，但隔天仍开心的到片场报道，就因为合作愉快。

Joanne在接这部戏时，刚好之前拍完了《仁心侠侣》。
在拍摄期间由于需要赶拍，因此在几天的煎熬，一度严重病倒。

Julian 和 Joanne 都认同，电影里的角色非常现实，

所发生的事情可能发生在任何人身上。

在预告片中，也看到了Julian和Joanne有着亲密的镜头。

他们两人都说拍得不容易，但都感到高兴，

难得能互相与帅哥美女有那么近距离得接触。

导演韩耀光，也是片子得监制、故事人，加上主题曲得作词人。

韩导和演员们合作也非常愉快。

年轻又帅气的导演风格独特，

在会上每当被问道如何介绍电影，

他就会说：“很好看！一定要看！”

韩导更说道，若Julian拒演，他自己多么希望能亲生上演。

Julian则说，导演欺负自己，还说这部电影

片名应该叫《跑吧男人》

为什么呢？一定要记得在12月12日晚上9点

锁定U频道《等一等爱情》

（要知道电影有什么精彩的片段或特别看头，以及更多活动的照片，
留意我接下来的Post。）

:: 好囧哦！ ::

日前有幸被选中参与一部全新青少年谈话性节目《你在囧什么》，是U频道12月底将开播的一部非常有趣，又有意义的一个畅谈性节目，每集邀请了20+名中学、理工学院、初级学院、工艺教育学院和大学的同学，连同几位专家、艺人和辅导员，谈有关青少年问题。从父母管教、金钱理财、追星、追梦、打扮、爱情到女性非礼问题和国籍之间的“战役”，一群陌生的同学们，在短短的一个星期的录影时间内，天天一同诉苦、分享、畅所欲言，相信将带给大家许多欢乐和感叹。

大家都认为新加坡的同学们不爱说话，不会说话，有什么都闷在心底。这次的体验，的确让我获益量多，打开了我的眼界，见识到许多不同的人、事、物，发现到很多青少年不为人知的一面。最重要的是，真的难得学习到了很多，在畅谈之间和同学们互相切磋，也和专业人士们互相学习，很开心。

当然，对我的学业也有所帮助。第一次在录影棚连续录几个小时，很不容易。我看到了幕后的很多点点滴滴，也明白了电视制作的苦。同时，也明白学业所学习到的东西以外，制作节目的团队如此庞大，剪辑师真正的功劳，各个幕后人员的辛苦，摄影棚内得注意的事项，导播的忙碌，等等等。。。希望往后日子，若有幸参与该制作公司实习，应该可以学习到更多。

但这次最大的收获还是认识了一群好玩，敢说的同学们。大家都和蔼可亲，无话不说，真诚最重要。大家虽然往后可能很难会在碰面，但真的，认识这些人是我的福气，也在此教会我，社会上各种人都有，要谦虚的学习，要接触更多不同的人，大家都有才华，大家都有长处，等待你发觉，学习。

很期待12月29日，晚上9点，U频道《你在囧什么？！》。由李腾和林佩芬主持。整个节目为期13集，探讨13个精彩的主题。同学们要了解，认同，他人们要看来学习并渗入青年的世界！记得大家都要收看哦。绝对精彩。。
（PS。 我在节目中的小名是DOMO，但很容易认的啦，最胖的那位咯。呵呵）
（pps。我将不会出现在第一集和最后一集，因为有事无法参与录影。其他的，都应该至少会路面:) ）

http://www.facebook.com/letstalkpage

在此分享一些照片。。

:: imperfect in a perfect world? ::

love the lyrics!

:: 不完美的完美 ::

生命是一块铁 沸腾才能刻写 明天的我是不朽或浮生一瞥
人体内六公升血 一颗颗都如酒浓烈 为爱疯狂 没醉过的人不了解
哪怕偶尔得转换起点 哪怕选手缺少优先权 没得选
我将犹豫都甩开 将目光都锁在同一个终点
前方越多的风险 冒险 越容易领先

我要我是谁 就算梦未遂 也不让现实这土匪
把理想都盗走 到老才数着后悔
感动是纤维 纺织后成为 一张被你将我包围
你的爱没白给 虽然我并不完美 我并不完美

心意坚定如铁 故事我自己写 你别看我安静但内心很狂野
我体内所有的血 一分钟都不可停歇 所谓疯狂是不管他人的误解
哪怕偶尔得转换起点 哪怕选手缺少优先权 没得选
我将犹豫都甩开 将目光都锁在同一个终点

前方越多的风险 冒险 越容易领先
我要我是谁 就算梦未遂 也不让现实这土匪
把理想都盗走 到老才数着后悔
感动是纤维 纺织后成为 一张被你将我包围
你的爱没白给 虽然我并不完美
虽然我不完美 I’ll be somebody someday

我要我是谁 就算梦未遂 也不让现实这土匪
把理想都盗走 到老才数着后悔
感动是纤维 纺织后成为 一张被你将我包围
你的爱没白给 虽然我并不完美

（把理想都盗走 到老才数着后悔）
感动是纤维 纺织后成为 一张被你将我包围
你的爱没白给 虽然我并不完美
因为我不完美 才会是独特的谁

:: 不完美的完美 ::

:: 不完美的完美 ::

喜欢听歌和唱歌
喜欢新加坡歌手
在新加坡，要成名，很难
从新加坡要走到海外市场，更难
新加坡歌手，都很有实力。

在此听石康鈞（Jones）
只有一股冲劲。感动。
听出耳油！
《不完美的完美》歌词好。曲子棒。

他的EP暂时还无法在新加坡出售。
先听我唱吧！分享。。

《不完美的完美》
（请点击上面的title link，到podbean收听）

:: simple pleasures ::

going away
is something i always wanted to do and never had the chance
until a certain brave soul
asked me to throw everything down
and escape into a world i only dare fantasize about
just you and me
in a foreign land
enjoying ourselves

and so I am now in Taipei, Taiwan
on a 3 days 2 night trip
enjoying
just pleasure
massages, facial, shopping, spa, sleeping, eating
not bothered about anything thats not mine
and not his
we are just wanting to be in a world of our own

not bothered touring spots that are for tourists
maybe just a trip of taipei 101
and not bothered about sharing with everyone how happy we are
not bothered with taking too many photos
and not bothered with memorabilias
and goodies to bring back

those, like wat M says
are for tourists
we are just two people who want a break
we are here to enjoy
and thats what we are doing

the trip is short
but that is what we can afford
in terms of time, for now

why go on leaving so much trails and memories
i like to hear him explain and tell me..
"dear, you are in charged of enjoying and relaxing.
not buying things for your friends and families
not taking pictures to prove where you have been
not sharing your joy through thoughts and what nots
it shall just be you and me and our love love"

ok!
i'm pampered and very happy:)

i can't stop smiling
seeing him seeing me seeing where i am seeing what i have
i just smile and feel really delighted

and then he says..
"no need to have too much memories to keep,
coz when you crave, seeing pictures are useless"

and also
"when you feel it, like it, want it, need it, have a break,
we'll just back again.."

these simple things in life
really
enjoy a holiday like its yours..

:: i am weird ::

i am weird
i think
i speak in a different language from you
and you and him and her
and probably it

i dun speak in ghost language
neither do i really understand human's
all the different tones and keys

i admit
i'm weird
am i?

:: my 701st blogpost! ::

Haha.. Just noticed the last post was my 700th post..
i thought i wanted, and was planning a way to "celebrate"
but i kinda missed it.. haha

anyway
just sharing a song that i pretty much like in recent times
its by Jaycee Chan (fang zuming)

and i attempted to sing it
a little pitchy here n there..
but hope you like it..

click on the link below to hear me screech!

http://twic.li/m4V

房祖名 假动作

要不是他在眼前对你的爱恋
我想爱你的心将持续冬眠
梦被叫醒如何能疏远

要不是你在耳边对我吐真言
我想我会怎样跟你没关联
从此脸前到你脸也能面这面

我明白直觉
会因为视觉听觉触觉产生错觉
于是要你无觉也不要你了解
挥挥手只是假动作掩饰我
深爱过的线索不该武力剥夺
该你的幸福结果
就算冷漠是假动作没有错
我背负心碎藏躲独自人海漂泊
为的只是要你能忘了我

要不是我开始在深陷的边缘
没想到那么快就必须弃权

可是所有的可能不允许深一点
我明白直觉
会因为视觉听觉触觉产生错觉
于是要你无觉也不要你了解
挥挥手只是假动作掩饰我
深爱过的线索不该武力剥夺
该你的幸福结果
就算冷漠是假动作没有错
我背负心碎藏躲独自人海漂泊
为的只是要你能忘了我
关于经不起流言的家伙赶紧抵制脆弱

人的不自力难免有许多
痛的不痛尽量躲过才能好好生活

挥挥手只是假动作掩饰我
深爱过的线索不该武力剥夺
该你的幸福结果
就算冷漠是假动作没有错
我背负心碎藏躲独自人海漂泊
为的只是要你能忘了我

请你忘了我 

:: 执着 ::

试想想，为什么要对某种事物与事项如此执着呢？
你弄得自己有那么多的埋怨、那么不快乐，又何苦呢？

saw some people insisting that their creativity are being restricted by others
and that if others have a say in their work
it is no longer their work

think of it
in a workplace
someone gives you some autonomy to create a piece
then after that, they give critical comments and hope that you change..
you will have to make amendments right?
you can't insist that your creativity has been forsaken
and that the amended work is totally not my idea
forgoing the fact that the main creation was pretty much yours, eh?

in life
we should really take a step back
if you really have great ideas and are really perfect
then you will have the right to ask the other to shut up

but creativity and art is intrinsic
the value of it varies from person to person
and what you think is perfect might not actually be

look at it this way
if you are an artist and have created a masterpiece
and people say its good, then good, sell it or keep it
for all it values

but if people say they dun like it
ok, accept the fact that some people dun like your work
there might be people who appreciate it
there might be people who dun
you can't force it upon others, eh?

school assignments n results varies
and especially in humanities n arts
there is no perfection
some people might like your creation
theres a set of rules
seeing from some technical viewpoints
thats why your scored in that technicality


dun assume that you are fabulous every time once you get A once
i have come to accept the fact..


why persist? does it make you happy?

:: one chance ::

took part in YES 933 明星DJ争霸赛2days ago..
didn't manage to get into the Top 20
but i was confident of myself
i though i did pretty well
so maybe the competition was strong

2 of my coursemates made it thru though..

i really love DJ-ing
and radio broadcasting is (or was, now) pretty much my dream

to say that i'm not disappointed will be false
i am upset and a little jealous

maybe.. theres chances in future with this station or others

or maybe.. i'll get a better job.. which i believe in much

did not make it this time
one chance gone
moving forward
with confidence..

:: how different am i? ::

was hearing radio earlier on

when i came across this song by rene liu

from her new album,

a mandarin translation of Angela Aki's song tegami

called continue-to my 15 year old self (继续-给15岁的自己）

i wrote about Angela's song back a year ago..

and i happen to read several posts from May 2009

and thinking of it

i havent changed, not a bit

the surroundings and people might have changed

but somehow or rather

my feelings and thoughts havent

more about tt later

back to the song..

when i heard the mandarin version by rene on radio

i just hummed along to it

it was familiar

and i almost cud sing the japanese one

although it was back then 1 year ago

and my japanese have very much deproved since

hearing the mandarin song

i cud feel something

though not as strong

i wrote tweets about my feeling then

about how lost i felt in the mandarin version

seeking a feeling with the tune but not running along with the lyrics

the sense of being touched by something close to heart

unfortunately doesn't come with the mandarin tune

and i had to search out my older NEC lappie where the song was in it's itunes

(haven't got the time to transfer.. or just plain lazy)

a whole year

and when i heared the bridge

i felt the urge

love? kinship? friends? intropecction? me?

not sure

but i feel a surge of blood flowing to my head

a sense of warmth

keep on believing

keep on believing

believing in oneself? believing the world will change?

believing that i can do it all?

i've let myself down and some people around me

i've not necessarily kept my promises

but just as well

the world hasn't been all that kind to me either

i've gone thru uneasy times in the past year

and so much more to say

well..

and tt brings me to the posts and reflections

i've somehow lessened my blogging

because i tweet much more

just look at the tweet board beside

blogging to me is when i have something i wanna say in details

when i'm really tired

and want a channel to vent

i'm sorry

but.. i'll try.. no promises ya..

i want so much in life

i try so much in life

but myself

why is it like that? what am i thinking?

what are the people around me thinking? have i really matured?

why am i so easioly tired?

when can i be trusted?

wheres the power to drive me thru ups and downs and various tasks?????

where are my friends? where are my love?

who are you?

who am i?

are we realoly different day by day?

can i keep my promises and resolutions?

reflecting is one

changing is another

looking back and forth

how different am i gonna be tmr?

next week?

next month?

next year?

next 5 years....

and it goes on

i aim high

we aim to change

but really

isn't it a vicious cycle that  keeps going around?

things change

but how different, really

well.. lets feel the song that sparked all these..

 Angela Aki's Tegami - to my 15 year old self

(in Romanji and with English translation)

(original can be read from the post at the link above:))

Haikei kono tegami yonde iru anata wa

Doko de nani wo shite iru no darou

Chuugo no boku ni wa

Dare ni mo hanasenai

Nayami no tane ga aru no desu



Dear sir if you’re reading this letter

Where are you and what are you doing

When I was 15 I couldn’t talk with anyone

In that time I was very worried about that



Mirai no jibun ni atete taku tegami nara

Kitto sunao ni uchiakerareru darou



If I write a letter to my future self

Surely I could confess with simplicity



Ima, makesou de nakisou de

Kieteshimaisou na boku wa

Dare no kotoba wo

Shinji arukeba ii no?

Hitotsu shikanai kono mune ga

Nando mo barabara ni warete

Kurushii naka de ima wo ikiteiru

Ima wo ikiteiru



Now, losing together, crying together

I go out for search

In which words I have to believe for keep walking

How many times this heart had been broken?

Even that hurt us, we’re gonna live

We’re gonna live



Haikei arigatou

Chuugo no anata ni

Tsutaetai koto ga aru no desu

Jibun to wa nani de

Doko e mukau beki ga

Toitsuzukereba mietekuru



Dear sir thanks to your 15teen self

I want to tell you about things that had happened

Why do I have to face myself?

If I had come to see the issue



Areta seishun no umi wa kibishii keredo

Asu no kishime e to

Yume no fune yo susume



The stormy seas of youth are harsh but

A boat of dreams will lead you to tomorrow’s shore



Ima, makenai de nakanai de

Kieteshimaisou na toki wa

Jibun no koe wo shinji arukeba ii no

Otona no boku mo kizutsuite

Nemurenai yoru wa aru kedo

Nigakute amai

Ima wo iketeiru



Now don’t lose, don’t cry

In the moment when they disappear

I believe in my own words to keep walking

My adult self it’s damaged too

And don’t sleep at nights but

My sweet pain lives now



Jinsei no

Subete ni imi ga aru kara

Osorezu ni

Anata no yume wo sodatete



From all the sense of live

The fear of believe in your dreams

Keep on believing…



Lalala, lalala

Keep on believing

Lalala, lalala

Keep on believing

Keep on believing

Keep on believing



Ima, makesou de nakisou de

Kieteshimaisou na boku wa

Dare no kotoba wo

Shinji arukeba ii no?

Ah, makenai de nakanai de

Kiete shimai souna boku wa

Jibun no koe wo

Shinji arukeba ii no

Itsu no jidai wo

Kanashimi wo

Sakete wa torenai keredo

Egao wo misete

Ima wo ikiteikou

Ima wo ikiteikou



Now, losing together, crying together

I go out for search

In which words I have to believe for keep walking

Now don’t lose, don’t cry

In the moment when they disappear

I believe in my own words to keep walking

Mistakes from all the ages and sadness

We can’t prevent

Show a smile, we’re gonna live

We’re gonna live



Haikei kono tegami yonde iru anata ga

Shiawase na koto wo

Negaimasu



Dear sir if you’re reading this letter

Hope it brings you happiness

Rene Liu

刘若英 - 继续-给15岁的自己

知道吗我总是惦记

十五岁不快乐的你

我多想 把哭泣的你

搂进我怀里

不确定自己的形状

动不动就和世界碰撞

那些伤 我终于为你

都一一抚平

那一年最难的习题

也不过短短的几行笔记

现在我却总爱回忆

回忆当时不服输的你

天空 会不会雨停 会不会放晴

会不会幸福在终点等着我和你

会不会是我忘记 还能勇敢地去淋雨

我们继续走下去 继续往前进

继续走向期待中的未知旅行

感觉累了的时候 抱着我们的真心

静静好好地休息

这些年我还算可以

至少都对得起自己

谢谢你 是你的单纯

给了我指引

遇见过很多很多人

完成了一些些事情

你一定 还无法想象

多精彩过瘾

谁说人生是公平的

它才不管我们想要怎样

很感激 你那么倔强

我才能变成今天这样

我们继续走下去 继续往前进

看这条路肯让我们走到哪里

我们想去的地方 一定也有人很想去

我们都不要放弃 都别说灰心

永远听从刻在心中那些声音

感觉累了的时候 请你把我的手握紧

没有地图 人生只能凭着手上的梦想 Oh~

循着它的光 曲折转弯找到有光的地方

Lalala Lalala Lalala 那年的梦想

Lalala Lalala Lalala 人要有梦想

勇敢的梦想 疯狂的梦想

继续走下去 继续往前进

路旁有花 心中有歌 天上有星

我们要去的那里 一定有最美丽的风景

都不要放弃 都别说灰心

不要辜负心里那个干净的自己

痛到想哭的时候 就让泪水洗掉委屈

我们要相信自己 永远都相信

来到这个世界不是没有意义

我们做过的事情 都会留在人心里

会被回忆而珍惜

有一天我将会老去

希望你会觉得满意

我没有 对不起那个

十五岁的自己

:: mixed feelings ::

Schools tough..
i like what i'm studying.. all the interesting things in the world of media business
but i really dun like the truckload of assignments..
i'm selective
and its getting heavier
video productions
proposals for chinese media seminar
reviews and analysis for PR management
writings for copywriting assignments
essays for chinese literature
research n report and weekly reviews of films for asian cinema
i need space
and air to breathe
and time to do other things..

prioritising..
gotta learn..

and theres army..
ippt and rt.. i feel..
i'm gonna die..
need to think think think..
of an alternative route
to neverland..

:: pain in the arse ::

Am having my Monster Ball bday party this coming sat
and splurging alot again..
bad bad..

i should have constantly reminded and spanked myself at the thoughts
of having birthday parties
after all the hassle that i've been through in the past 3 years
i once vowed that three was enough
and a trilogy shall be kept to a good threesome

i broke the law

well
there was a purpose and big aim when i started planning for the Monster ball
this saturday
that was to "boost" sales of purewiz
i dunno how it will work out
but the turnout currently is much better than i expected
initially i din even think of inviting many of the ppl now on my "coming" list
but well
its.. ok! they are all good friends/cousins of mine
so its good to share the joy with them
who knows i may be in china already during my next birthday!

so the monsterball has been planned
and although there seems to be a very obvious theme
there is none
haha

i've decided what to wear and its gonna be a nice simple set of attire
and i believe it will be a blast
but the things i'm preparing and the things i've prepared has been.. argh..

and nearing to the day
i get the tension i once had 2 years ago and 3 years ago
its a one man show currently
and its tiring
and thinking of the food, the drinks, the food, the drinks and
how i can make each of my guest happy
i am disappointed with myself

its a long drawn procedure and i blame myself totally for thinking too much each time
being too creative and having different ideas and thoughts just ain't good
especially when you have to execute it all by yourself

i feel now that the date is close but i've not done anything
oh no!

and another note
i should have just gotten a restaurant
(which i got many ideas and many quotes)
but due to me wanting to save money
decided to bring it on to a chalet
kinda regret it now
could have been easier getting a crew of friends to a restaurant/cafe
and just enjoy everything being metted out for you
and you have fun for the three hours
like last year's Happy Party..

at least i dun need to worry about the cake
the drinks
the beer
the desserts
the many many many things
i've got in mind
people staying over or not
entertainment at night
transport
water and drinks and food to last through the night
and.....

haiz~

i can't wait wait for it to be here
and we can have fun
take pictures
tons of them
and enjoy!

Monster Ball will be somethings same yet different
i dunno wat..
but it will be.. LOL!

(not forgetting the small group coming over for the big monster party the night before..
me and pg, russ00, ptmd, wc, and the other bitches.. roar.. tt will be a blast too!)

:: Liao Zhai Rocks and Singapore Mandarin Musicals... ::

I don't really like musicals
I think they are often overrated
and i dun understand what they are singing most of the time
chinese musicals were once (in my mind), worse
because its not easy to understand the lyrics,
especially the fast numbers
and somehow spoils the flow with the dancing and all

but being a sucker for local theatre and all
and after watching the successful If there are seasons (天冷就回来）last year
I felt i just had to support TTP's musical extravaganza Liao Zhai rocks this year round

so i caught the show on thursday
and i must say
i still do not like musicals, not in mandarin at least

not tt i'm jealous tt i'm still not getting my break in theatre
(i've somehow given tt up some time ago)
and also nt because its not good
i must say its fantastic
wonderful cast, set, lighting, plot, storyline...

then again,
there's the factor of chinese seems too cheem to be enjoyed like that
you get carried away by the nice music
and you can't get the lyrics because of the different octaves and music..
argh..
you don't enjoy theatre like it should be
the musical element somehow overpowers the acting and theatrics
and with the strong use of superb lyrics on stage in a new setting
not all audience can hear properly
and with the blasting mic
the sounds are distorted
and the words don't come across just like it should be/intended to be

well..

these are just my opinions..
there are lots of improvements spaces
i wish
one day, that I can still be part/create my own theatre group/company
and create outstanding performance
with rich theatrical elements and artistic aspects
and which are also accessible to the general audience looking
for an entertainment..

well well... 

nevertheless, kudos to the great performance by the Liao Zhai Rocks team
it all went very well
i just left feeling a little tad lacking of something
that is probably it..
that missing element! that.. erm.. connection? not sure..

:: 壳 ::

Another of my favourite song of the moment..
from Tiger Huang as well..
feels tt its complementary of the one previous song..

就算是真的 会永远单身
双人床依旧睡得很安稳
也不想 屈就於寂寞
眼前找个人 托付掉 后半生

怎样把自己 交给下个人
用一种心甘情愿的口吻
时间 狠狠向我提问
敢不敢 心再一次放任
为了某个人等

我心里包覆的壳 谁懂得
只是一层保护色
或许爱情离我太远了
快要记不得 多久没用力哭了
为什么 把自己隔绝了
我心里包覆的壳 谁晓得
我并不习惯冰冷
也想感受心跳的狂热
期待谁发现 我看似完整人生
还有个 空白缺口


怎样把自己 交给下个人
用一种心甘情愿的口吻
时间 狠狠向我提问
敢不敢 心再一次放任
为了某个人等

我心里包覆的壳 谁懂得
只是一层保护色
或许爱情离我太远了
快要记不得 多久没用力哭了
为什么 把自己隔绝了
我心里包覆的壳 谁晓得
我并不习惯冰冷
也想感受心跳的狂热
期待谁发现 我看似完整人生
还有个 空白缺口

我心里包覆的壳 谁晓得
我并不习惯冰冷
也想感受心跳的狂热
期待谁发现 我看似完整人生
还有个 空白缺口

会是谁发现 我看似完整人生
还有个 爱的缺口

:: 我是谁? 我是谁! 我是谁?!!!? ::

        我是谁 你是否常常这样问自己

我是谁 总是活在别人的期望里
我是谁 是谁又擅自帮你定义了
你是谁 只有不是自己才安全
为什麽 你以为这个世界很美丽
为什麽 你爱这个世界胜过爱自己
为什麽 这个世界不给你平等待遇
为什麽 到底做错了什麽
朋友都说你太 太 太奇怪
在背後把你当成笑 笑 笑话看
每一个动作都被瞎猜
他们说你是个不能容忍的存在
你想要的很 很 很简单
不过就是最普通的 的 的平凡
诚实做自己有时候很难
但是请你勇敢的试一次看看
无论他们又说什麽 闲言闲语无法伤害我
世界上只有一个我 没人能代替的我
无论他们又做什麽 小动作无法打败我
我知道自己是最美丽的
The most beautiful
会不会 上帝把你的灵魂放错了身体
会不会 是故意整你不是不小心
会不会 你常常都觉得力不从心
会不会 坚持要做自己太危险
凭什麽 难道比较特别就是不对
凭什麽 先下了注解在认识之前
凭什麽 只不过想认真的活一遍
凭什麽 随便就把人定罪
朋友都说你太 太 太奇怪
在背後把你当成笑 笑 笑话看
每一个动作都被瞎猜
他们说你是个不能容忍的存在
你想要的很 很 很简单
不过就是最普通的 的 的平凡
诚实做自己有时候很难
但是请你勇敢的试一次看看
无论他们又说什麽 闲言闲语无法伤害我
世界上只有一个我 没人能代替的我
无论他们又做什麽 小动作无法打败我
我知道自己是最美丽的
The most beautiful
无论他们又说什麽 闲言闲语无法伤害我
世界上只有一个我 没人能代替的我
无论他们又做什麽 小动作无法打败我
我知道自己是最美丽的
The most beautiful
无论他们又说什麽 闲言闲语无法伤害我
我是谁 这个问题困扰你多少天多少夜
我是谁 谁有资格决定你怎样才是对
世界上只有一个我 没人能代替的我
我是谁 我是谁我是谁
我就是我你就是你
认真做自己的人最美丽
无论他们又做什麽 小动作无法打败我
我是谁 这个问题困扰你多少天多少夜
我是谁 谁有资格决定你怎样才是对
我知道自己是最美丽的
我是谁 我是谁我是谁
我就是我你就是你
认真做自己的人最美丽



really? I wish.. 认真做自己的人最美丽
not bothered about the world and changes
not bothered about the changing trends and the way the world progress
not challenged about the diversities of life
and living the life the way you are
loner or not
with anyone specil or not
just being myself
i wish
but i can't seem to convince myself
who am i?
who am i?
who am i?

:: all by myself . and myself . and myself ::

I was at the cliff, almost about to fall off.
I was at the brim, almost spilling out.
I feel congested. Emotionally. Psychologically.
I had no one to turn to.
Then comes the realisation. That I have always been putting on a strong front.
Always showing and thinking that I've so many friends around me.
But who can I turn to when I need to talk?
None.
I don't have anyone whom I can trust. or is close enough for me
to call upon in the middle of the night.
because that is just not what I'm accustomed to.
As weird as it sounds. I'm a loner.
I feel empty. Lonely. Solo.

1. Relationships are confusing. I don't know what I want or maybe who I am. My love life doesn't blend with my life. What does that makes me? I don't seem to know then.

2. My results sucks. Does that mean i'm not cut out for this line? Where am I headed towards? Blank.

3. Sleeping throughout the holidays. Its been more than a month. No aim. No target.

4. Broke up and together. Sex and fucks. All going nowhere, again. Where the sunrises and where it sets. I have no idea. Lost? No, just zero. Non-directional.

5. Having a million ideas, but not practically making any of them work. I'm a waste. Because I don't have the kick to get me going.

6. Who are my friends? Invites out there to over a hundred people. Response is near null. Right. What are friends for? Or, do I have? Who takes me as one? Back to this topic again. Bad.. Next..

7. Motivation gets things going? I think money do. I need a new goal in life which I can see a finishing life. Not now, apparently.

8. What's my aim in doing so much? When my target seems to be so insanely different from where I am headed towards? Why am I preparing so much when it all boils down to being nothing?

9. I find no consolation in being myself.

10. Given up. Just say you love me and fuck me and leave. That is probably what makes me happy. At least for the split second. A moment felt of someone there. Hugging you. The warmth. Comfort. Thanks.

:: 虎年要听黄小琥！ ::

不得了！太棒了！太棒了！
大家一起与灭绝师太动起来！

:: exams and a good new year ::

1. exams are tomorrow. i feel... ill prepared.. oh my!

2. the past week, i've met people who are all too serious about life, it scares me. or maybe its just my live and let live attitude that makes me worried.. not too sure if i'm worried about myself or for others..

3. i realised that results are of utmost importance to me. but more often than not, i give up halfway. its bad, i know, but its like a nature to me. wrong wrong mentality that i must change.

4. new year was okay. nothing special. like what gregagoogoo says, quarter-life crisis. how to get out of this rat race and impossible life woth a million thoughts but with none fulfilled? what do i really want? lost...

5. switching tracks are what i keep thinking of. at this age, how many more times can i do that? can't keep rellying on my mum already..

6. as i write this post, my heart really feels hard and thumping. tsk tsk. emotional. so emotional that i could cry. gotta work hard!

7. just went to bai taisui earlier in the afternoon. first time i went. eye opening experience. i'm not a religious person, but since "tigers" crash with a certain god almost every other year, and my life hasn't been exactly that smooth every now and then, maybe a little contribution and chants might help. for a smooth life and some peace and happiness...

8. been sick for the longest time. my nose is constantly producing mucus, at many times, it is thick and has a bad smell. i wonder what is wrong.

9. thoughts cram my head and i've been having terrible headaches the past few days. many many things to do.

10. i have the time. but i seem to be wasting. i have no goals to myself. needs a change of attitude, fast.

11. coordinating the photoshoot isn't easy. blame it on myself. hope it will go smoothly. and when the shoot is done, i'm just awaiting for the launch. its exciting. my friends.. check out: http://purewiz.livejournal.com  and join the mailing list. can't wait to show u all the clothes! yay!

12. hope to get the part time job. keep me occupied for awhile and have fun:) been wanting this job for the longest time.. :)

13. anyone knows of ppl who can do tailoring/sewing of delicate designs and at reasonable prices? needs help urgently. call/sms/email me!

14. love. :) loved.

15. sharing a line: be sincere in the things you do, then even if you fail, at least you know you did right.

hope for the best in my exams and all that i do...!!!

:: 大嘴巴来咯！ ::

Puma has an exciting tie up with talented Taiwanese hip hop group Da Mouth, and its here in Singapore!

Now, you can join in a fantastic contest on the webby Da Mouth X Puma Da Final Frame where u get to design a picture which could very well be chosen to be printed on new Puma shopping carriers.. How cool is that!

And Da Mouth will be here for an exclusive show case at the uber luxe 72-13 at Mohd Sultan.. They will also be appearing at a Ion Orchard's Puma store!

Here's how..

Win tickets to the exclusive showcase at 72-13:

-simply join the contest and design a final frame to the comic at the site above.. u may use the simple user-friendly final frame editor on the site, or create ur own if u are design trained.. nice eh..

or

-simply spend $150 at Puma store and get ur pass!

Win tickets to the meet and greet at Puma Ion.

- Spend $200 at Puma and u'll get ur chance to win passes to the event. Yay!

Yup.. I've joined the contest all right.. and hoping to win the passes to the event at 72-13.. and hopefully u can join me too! Yup.. If u can design, help me go online and vote for mine? Haha..

Roar!

:: the answer is.. what again? ::

1. I'm madly into concerts.. or should I say, too many people are coming for concert.. no.. too many great singers are coming down for concert..

2. 17 April is the clash of the mandopop bands.. SHE vs MayDay... i prefer the latter.. so.. see all at Padang for a repeat of their runaway sold out successful concert from last year..

3. then there's news tt another runaway sold out successful concert last year will be back.. in less than 2 weeks.. yes.. Stefanie Sun is bringing in a "golden lunar new year edition" of her hit "The answer is..." world tour back to Singapore, and holding it at Resorts World Sentosa.. the first chinese singer to perform there, mind you... and oh, we sooooo miss stef!

4. why am i watching concerts that i've watched once? coz they are real good, i guess...

5. but i'm not splurging like i did on Amit's concert.. bleah.. $121 for each of these two is enough to make me broke..

6. then there's Jam Hsiao and Sammi Cheng.. one vocal powerhouse and his first concert, another being cantopop's brightest showgirl on Singapore stage after years of absence.. well well.. i think i should go watch.. maybe after new year and when i've spare cash after planning for the 24th bday party.. hehe!

7. time flies.. the sem is coming to an end, and i've not found the answer to many things.. contemplative of quitting and pursuing something i should.. like.. a.........

8. LNY is like.. next week, and altho i kinda feel the hype, i'm too busy piled up under my homework, i can't seem to be bothered. it doesn't help tt there's exams after the LNY break..

9. but have cleared some modules le.. translation n feature report writings done.. and will be done with webdesign n writ comm next.. hopefully radio prod will conclude this coming week too.. then its a good break before the exams..

10. don't know what to look forward to.. coz the tees are not ready, and i'm quite dead with fashionisiac.. oh no.. need to keep my passion alive and get something going..

11. LNY clothes.. din buy much.. ok.. none.. coz i realise tt my clothes in the past year has over piled.. and i kinda forgotten to budget for new clothes.. and no time too.. too busy with assignments.. and love..

12. when caishenye meets cupid.. caishenye comes first.. oh.. forgot to mention.. caishenye comes onli once, my cupid acts like a caishenye on most other days.. :) hehe.. <3

:: not as easy ::

黄小琥-没那么简单

作词:姚若龙作曲:萧煌奇


没那么简单
就能找到聊得来的伴
尤其是在看过了那么多的背叛
总是不安只好强悍
谁谋杀了我的浪漫
 
没那么简单
就能去爱别的全不看
变得实际也许好也许坏各一半
不爱孤单一久也习惯
不用担心谁也不用被谁管

感觉快乐就忙东忙西
感觉累了就放空自己
别人说的话随便听一听
自己作决定
不想拥有太多情绪
一杯红酒配电影
在周末晚上关上了手机
舒服窝在沙发里

相爱没有那么容易
每个人有他的脾气
过了爱作梦的年纪
轰轰烈烈不如平静
幸福没有那么容易
才会特别让人着迷
什么都不懂的年纪
曾经最掏心
所以最开心曾经

想念最伤心
但却最动心的记忆

:: resolutions ::

 1. I never make any resolutions if u realise. Coz i don't know how it works.

2. If resolutions are just a list of things i want to resolve and will work towards it, then maybe i shall start one.

3. Its not too late to start having New Year's resolutions's eh? Since its January and Lunar New Year isn't exactly here yet.

4. Oh, times flies. Guess what. This sem is (finally) (frightfully) coming to an end and tt means its assignments galore..

5. That brings me to my first resolution.. no matter what happens this semester, the next acad year i've got to wake up my idea. Pull up my GPA! 3.5... puleeez....

6. Diet.. always saying, never doing.. will start.. today!

7. Exercise and generate a lova and habit for it. Will start.. have to start..

8. Stop spending like theres no tomorrow.. set aside $XX each month into savings.. a little goes a long way.. i hope.

9. Love one person and stick to it, or don't love at all. You dun deserve love if you do not know how to love.  (tt said, i'm kinda stuck in some kind of... hmm.. )

10. Be true to yourself and the people around you!

11. Start planning for a little piece of sky of your own. Get the fashion blog rolling.. sooooon!!!

12. Ensure I work towards goals and do well in designs.!!

13. PureWIZ is a project in long term planning. My biggest resolution, kick start this! and then...

14. Get my multi-concept in one going.. blog+own label+publishing... oh my... this will be a 5 years work plan/resolution..

15. Get everything off my mind and start working, realistically!

really.....

:: headache ::

1. Have been overusing this word. But its getting bad. Real bad migraine. Feel like dying soon.

2. Going through a lot. Too much work piling up but my headache is obstructing me.

3. I love to design, and looking for new ways to do things. :)

4. I don't like to take telephone calls. Stop calling stop calling i don't wanna talk anymore.

5. SMS is good. I will reply when i want to. I won't if i don't want to. Like i said, i won't take no calls.

6. I don't like to repeat myself. I say things once, then its done. Silence.

7. Got many big dreams to fulfill. Wonder when.

8. I'm domesticated. I love staying at home. Curbs me from spending.

9. Chinese New Year and Valentines' Day. Not sure what will happen. Things might change very much. Talking face to face with people you love makes sense. <3

10. Needs coffee. And a break. Ice cream makes me happy. Good coffee and nice simple good ice cream. :)

Back to working on assignments....

:: 1998 ::

Had a meetup with 7 of my primary school friends.. Yes.. Just a small group meetup which was randomly organised because one girl returned after eons. Haha.. And I got quite excited before it. Can u imagine.. It's a good 11-12 years since we last met..

But as it closed in, the excitement kind of faded..

And when we were there.. I felt.. Out of place once again..

I think it's just me.. They were like friends.. Yet.. I felt so distanced.. I couldn't find a single topic in common. I keep feeling tt I'm different. Memories were dug out.. Things which happened, people who were in our class.. Long lost friends not contacted..

But I keep having the feeling tt they seem to keep in contact. Just not me. I dun remember who was my best friend back then. Or if I even had a clique.. At all.. All through my life..

I feel like I dun know who I really am. Is it just a persona I always put out and I've lost who I really am? Who are these friends?

It's nice. Really. But.. Something.. Dunno what.. But something.. I crave for a best friend at different stages. But maybe it's because of how high I portray myself that I have lost such friend.

It comes to the point when we are leaving and saying goodbyes when I think: what is the point if this meet up. When will we meet again?? What will happen till then? What will happen then? Someone asked: are we meeting up again? I don't know. Everyone has accompolished so much. They are all everywhere..

We are a so different now. There's a teacher, an air steward, undergrads going to grad, a lawyer, students in australia.. I feel....

When will we meet again? I'm skeptical...




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

:: OVB _ 不老传奇哈林庾澄庆-到死都要18岁! ::

不老传奇哈林庾澄庆;到死都要18岁!

文：林觉豪（学生记者）

    近年来因主持台湾爆红综艺节目《百万大歌星》而找到事业第二春的哈林庾澄庆，为庆祝出道23周年而发行了青春摇滚情歌精选集《到死都要十八岁》。顶着酷爆的造型，在专辑封面上提着电吉他耍帅的哈林，想撒一点小谎，带听众回到青春，找回梦想，回归18岁时的那个天堂。

    专辑封面造型酷似五月天阿信，哈林这次通过精选集提醒着大家他始终时是台湾嘻哈摇滚界的前辈，早在多年前就通过国民大合唱，如《快乐song》和《让你妈妈new一下》奠定了基础。

      这张精选集阔气的收录了哈林23年来的历作，收录了多达45首精选曲，以及三首新歌。三张CD分别名为“哈青春”，“哈情歌”和“哈摇滚”。个别都收录了一首代表性新歌。

      三首新歌中都是由哈林本人创作。“青春新歌”《第三个愿望》唱出情窦初开的少男少女之心声，列出小情人希望在一起能有的幸福。情歌新代表《无尽透明的思 念》虽展示出哈林不可否认的好唱功，但和经典哈式情歌对比，少了那一分感动。同名摇滚主打《到死都要18岁》最充满惊喜，重摇滚的曲风唱出哈林渴望再次找 寻18岁的精彩和那股摇滚的激情。已有一定年龄的哈林哥唱起这首个人创作带来另一般风味，带有一点沧桑，但绝对能和当今摇滚乐手拼一下。

    精选部分完整收录了所有哈林这23年来负有高潮迭起的音乐生涯中的代表作，从早期的《只有为你》《老实情歌》《靠近》《熟悉》到巅峰期的《情非得已》《海啸》《春泥》《戒不掉》以及近期得《爱你的只有一个我》《蛋炒饭》。

      哈林这些年来更是翻唱了多收经典的歌曲，都演唱得十分到位，唱出自己的味道。《遇见》《流水年华》《热情的沙漠》《大眼睛》都让哈林印上了自己的标志。中英语能力旗鼓相当的他表现出名曲《Y.M.C.A》和《Into The Night》都投入另一番风味。

      《到死都要18岁》记录了台湾乐坛最rock，最用心，最称职，最全方位的音乐人哈林庾澄庆的音乐生涯里程碑。

:: twit... ::

Was about to say tt this post very short..
then i saw and remembered i had a tweetboard beside..
and thus i must say.. tweeting is indeed very convenient..
nt tt i'm lazy to write my blog..
just tt i dun have the time
and short tweets tell you my feeling there and then
unless there are issues tt i must write long long about
tt i'll do when i've more time
i hope.. haha.. i will la..

for now..
feel my real time feelings on the tweet board beside..
i tweet.. alot.. i promise!

on a sidenote
i'll be meeting my primary school friends tmr night for dinner
and yes, its a dozen years ago since i met them, about there..
haha.. its arranged on fb due to someone's return from overseas..
and most of them look.. alien.. as in.. i dun recognise them thru their pics on fb
tt is amazing!

can really expect how it will be like tmr.. gotta dress up and meet them man! this is really really exciting! haha.. can you imagine.. i was 12 then.. i'm gonna be 24 soon.. can't believe it, really!

will share more after tmr..

if i have the time..
coz i've got assignments and projects
and they
are
piling
up....
....
....