:: 1998 ::

Had a meetup with 7 of my primary school friends.. Yes.. Just a small group meetup which was randomly organised because one girl returned after eons. Haha.. And I got quite excited before it. Can u imagine.. It's a good 11-12 years since we last met..

But as it closed in, the excitement kind of faded..

And when we were there.. I felt.. Out of place once again..

I think it's just me.. They were like friends.. Yet.. I felt so distanced.. I couldn't find a single topic in common. I keep feeling tt I'm different. Memories were dug out.. Things which happened, people who were in our class.. Long lost friends not contacted..

But I keep having the feeling tt they seem to keep in contact. Just not me. I dun remember who was my best friend back then. Or if I even had a clique.. At all.. All through my life..

I feel like I dun know who I really am. Is it just a persona I always put out and I've lost who I really am? Who are these friends?

It's nice. Really. But.. Something.. Dunno what.. But something.. I crave for a best friend at different stages. But maybe it's because of how high I portray myself that I have lost such friend.

It comes to the point when we are leaving and saying goodbyes when I think: what is the point if this meet up. When will we meet again?? What will happen till then? What will happen then? Someone asked: are we meeting up again? I don't know. Everyone has accompolished so much. They are all everywhere..

We are a so different now. There's a teacher, an air steward, undergrads going to grad, a lawyer, students in australia.. I feel....

When will we meet again? I'm skeptical...




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