:: confidence ::

that's what I lack now

totally

absolutmilo from CITS south spine computer room . 27 minutes before EE2001

:: death day draws near ::

i hate it
i so so know that exams is just less than a week away
yet
i feel like everyday
i'm just going to waste
ya..
how sucky is that

its actually quite scary
to know tt you might not make it
yet don't seem to be putting enough effort..

i need a push..

some power hands
do your job!!

:: Piling . Troubles ::

i've got everything piling up the way it shouldn't be
and as i look back
I really haven't changed for the better
the way it ought to have gone..
oh no..

troubles are all piling up my way
5 weeks in school and entering the 6th
I am just afraid that I've taken on a little too much!
(once again..)

I've got educational trouble..
organisational trouble..
sports and physical trouble..
monetary trouble..
relationship trouble..

heres a summary..

education troubles:
-project piling up, especially for HW210.. its a sucky project, though it seems essential..
-tutorials.. they are secretly piling up, and I seemed to have missed a lesson or two sometimes..
-thus leading up to missed tutorials and lectures.. notice the s behind? oh no.. how? i need to seek the real importance and the meaning of studies in life for myself and prioritise. plan my life properly..
-and because i've missed the above, the tests coming up will be damn fierce. though it might juz be tests, but things add up, and i hope it will not be in a bad way. I'm going all out to mend these holes, i promise!
-I need to buck up of my school work, desperately..

organisational troubles..
-as u may know,
I have joined a few main committees this year after a bad year in onli sub-committees last year. and as they say, the job is fiercer. oh no.. so the work is really getting heavier and i need to "wake up" my idea and get things done so as to not fail or give up in any of the projects..
anyways, the election for Epiphany main com is tomorrow! yeah! fingers crossed!
(I've currently got CAC JDC and Impresario to take care of.. both PnP posts.. well well)

sports and physical trouble..

-I am fat
-I am unfit
-I've got IPPT coming
-I've not trained well enough..
-I can only run (long distance, not 2.4 n 4X10m..)
-I got tedious dragonboat training which i hope helps.
-i've regular runs thanks to a certain person..
-I am still fat despite trainings and my physiques in not building up.
-i hate that!

monetary troubles...
-really, officially, i am POOR.
-i'm near bankrupt.
-my 4 bank accounts are running on less than 2 or 3 figure sums.
-my three credit cards are running on debts.
-i'm afriad each time the statement comes each months.
-why does time past so fast?
-where am i going to get money to pay
-why am i still in the blur and keep spending endlessly without the constant effort to thrift and spend less despite knowing i HAVE to?
-i am officially a "ka-nu" slave to my cards

relationship troubles:
-for those who do not know
-i've got a 31 year old partner
-who is quite prominent in the circle due to some unspecified reason
-who is desperate to get into a stable "family environment"
-but travels around the world for holiday/work so so often
-and loves sports to much that pressurizes me..
-he is a freakin' 6-pac believer
-and a uber IT professional and closetted entrepreneur wanabe
-who happens to have a military background.
-and is a guy.
-the trouble?
-well..
it is about me acknowledging his existance to my friends
-who might be able to take it, or may be homophobics..
-another challenge:
-he takes care of me too well.
-i feel insecure
-yet he offers a great sense of security
-and now officially wants to have an official "union"
-but it sounds good. but i dun know what will happen next time.
-or even the near future.
-i'm afraid of my poisition in school, friends, family, society...

troubles...

:: 临时抱佛脚 ::

this holidays seems so weird
i'm suppose to be taking special sem
but the course i chose is so... i dunno how to describe it
i feel lost taking architectural appreciation in civil engineering..
civil engine? which part? appreciation? okay..
what did i learn, really? i dun recall..
what am i suppose to do at exam later? ... draw someting which i guess i noe..
the whole ting is funny lo..
the lecturer never even teach us how to draw,
and we have to come up with our projects,
designing a bus stop and our dream home..
duh..
i won't say the course is easy.. although there is noting to study..
and it is purely based on creativity..
and i somehow am quite bad at drawing..
and its not hard..
to those people who can draw..
and as i said, noting to study, so where got hard?
i'm so lost now..

but i've SU-ed it..
so i feel relax..
but after SU-ing..
i feel a mix of emotions..
because i do not know how the instructor grades..
its safe to SU it so it doesn't affect the GPA..
but mayb he is super lenient
then i may be missing out..
i actually quite wana know what grade i get..
somehow feeling a little regretful..

then again..
because i SU-ed
i feel so so so comfortable and unstress..
really..
i could even affor to go out for movie of Kungfu Panda (will do a review tmr, maybe)
late night on the eve of the exams..
and have dinner wif dearie..
and come back hall at 11pm..
and now, just completed rushing the drawings (projects) which are due tomorrow..
(they were by right due 2 weeks ago, but the instructor extended it so we can improve on the drawings..)

i done my best..
and will do my best tmr as well..
as i go into the exam hall
for the first time
completely at lost
both with a mixed feeling of exhilaration
confident that i am prepared ('coz theres noting to)
and worried (because i nv know how i will do.. its ART..)

oh..

:: 我会更加努力.不会放弃 ::

examination results are out.
i don't wanna talk about it anymore..
my promise to dearie:
i will work harder.
i will not let myself and you down.

to Isaac:
失败乃成功之母
努力!
奇迹需要自己创造!
You can do it.

:: meet my match ::

dearest Physics 1,

what do you want me to do to please you?

tell me please?

before its too late.

well..

all i can say is..

i admit defeat..

(or is it too early to say now? juz before the paper?)

败给你!

with regards,

a sullen looking Isaac.

*FE1001 . Physics 1. 18th April 2008. 0900-1130 hrs . Hall B- Exhibition Hall, Nanyang Audi. Seat k957*

:: Birthday Luck? ::

Is there any such things??

Haha. Well.. I hope that the lucky birthday star shines on me and i score really well for my Japanese exam later..

All the best, Isaac!

*HMJ1 - Japanese Level 1 - 1700 - 1930 Hrs - Hall D - Sports Hall 2 - Seat no. 469*

miloboi sayd: "gambate neh!"

:: luck ::

i need luck.

loads of it.

i believe in it.

please don't prove me wrong.



if not i will die.

*FE1007 . Mathematics II . 1300-1530 Hrs . Hall B . Nanyang Audi Exhibition Hall . Seat 841*

miloboi says: "good luck! good luck! good luck!"

:: code red ::

Again. From the boy who never learns his lesson. Wonder what will happen this time. Well well.. Less than 12 hours to his paper. And he is not completely prepared. Has he really done his best? Pray hard. Its your last chance, boy. Pray really hard.

::LoVe.我要的只是专心完整的爱情 ::::

A note to the one I love...

ウィリさん。いつまでも愛してるよ。

exams are drawing so near. where is my sense of urgency. what am I doing? I so do not know.

::concentration.. concentration.. this is a game of concentration::

And I can't concentrate. Really. I just can't sit down and study. I don't understand how people can study in a library. I can't. I can live in complete silence. It feels so odd that the environment is so quiet and I simply hate the intense atmosphere. The existence of people around me disturbs me even more. I prefer to study in the comfort of some soft music, a cool temperate and some (hopefully not fat inducing) finger food. And I am still contemplating the need of of having a laptop while studying.

I don't know how I made it to university actually. I am not a science (especially not Physics) person. But I struggled through my life (6 years since sec sch) studying science. Wow. Now, I am still in the field of physical science, and probably the rest of my life will be mathematical or physics based. How?

I suddenly have the urge now to just quit school and venture out into the working world. But then again, what can I do? I do not know. I am like a lost soul still, despite me reaching 22 years of age in a few days time. This is bad. This adult here is still a wondering soul shopping for his interest. Maybe the society is to be blamed. Isaac is a linguist, how, tell me how, can i venture and make a big break into the scene. Any dramatists reading this?? (prays hard).

But for now, all I can do is to study hard. I will reach where I want to if I have the discipline to concentrate on my priorities now. And I definitely need to. Exams are just 5 days away.

Message to myself: You can do it if you work hard. It is never too late. Now your priorities and you will suceed. Grab and cherish this opportunity. Love youself and love what you are doing. You will be happier. You can do it!

miloboi says: "this game of concentration takes motivation,
and your perseverance to succeed. Want it hard! And you will have it."

::EXAMS!::

isaac is now on exams mode..
(notice that i use Isaac and not miloboi? coz this is serious!)

study this weekend at McDonalds like an bookworm, a nerd, a studying student..

Mugger! Mugging mugger is the muggerest...

Studying for exams makes Isaac a good boy.

GPA makes his world goes round.

STUDY LIKE YOU NEVER STUDY BEFORE!

now who's the idiot who told us that 'A' Levels was the greatest barrier and University was going to be easy!! HMFP!

BUT

ISAAC IS NOT IN THE STUDYING MOOD YET!

HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP!


drowns in piles of notes an un-understandable formulas!

miloboi says: "In study mode, but not in study mood."

WOOHOO!

ITS OVER!

now, wat should i do?

movies, dim sum, shopping, cut hair, buy cd....

for now: SLEEP!

on another note, yet again,

FE1003 chemistry was quite okay. if nothing much goes wrong, i should get aroun 74% correct, lolx! So I really hope i can get a 'B' at least. Yeah! Just some calculation questions that I could not get right, and some naming that I think i got wrong, on the whole, it was WOOHOO! haha.. hope it stays lke tt... hehe

最后的距离

终点线就在前方.

This IS the final dash for this semester.

It has been an exciting albeit tiring race for me.

Not knowing how I fare, I've been dashing through checkpoints after checkpoints.

The cheers were loud. The support was felt. But at many times I felt lonely.

There were times I felt that I was at my threshold. There was one time I nearly fell.

It all began like a disaster, but now I understand that each pit stop was but a check back at the real meaning behind it.

One last obstacle to cross, one last checkpoint to pass through, one last pit stop to reach.

I do not need to be the first to touch down. But I just want to finish it with glory and pride. I've fought hard, though not enough, I think. And I truly deserve the rewards that lies ahead of me.

1130. When the CE says "pens down", thats when it all ends. Will I be smiling exhilaratingly? Or will I have the "chao bin" again. I don't know. But I know I can say: "It's over!"

FE1003 - Chemistry. Probably the course I'm most confident in. Aiming high and far. I can do it.

For one last time on this blog for this semester: Jia You, Isaac.

I can do it!

今早: 惨了!

Last night: slept at 0330Hrs.

This morning:



can u read clock?

9.17am!

SHIT!

FE1002 Physics II paper at 9am!

rub my eyes. see my phone. YES! 9.17am! ARGH!

HOW? I wore my clothes and my shoes, stuffed everything in my bag.

Candidates will not be allowed to enter exam hall after X hour.

Erm: X= 0.5 or 1? ARGH!

Rushed down, filled my water bottle, fly to bus stop. Blue line bus came juz in time! Reached Hall A at 0931. Double checked my seat number. At the door, i stared at the security guard uncle. I juz did not dare barge into Nanyang Audi. After checking with uncle, he said go in. So i went in, trying to look composed, thinking of excuses if necessary. (erm, sick, erm.. watever, none needed.) found my seat, fill in the cover page n began frantically writing, with my hands still shivering. Argh!

1st time in my life I am ever late for exams.

My grandest entrance into an examination hall, EVER!

Luckily i stayed in hall. Can u imagine if i came from home? (but maybe my mummy would ensure i woke up in time)

I shall never let this repeat itself again!

*on another note: Physics II was not that difficult after all. The questions were mainly manageable IF i studied harder and was more prepared. Haha. But on the whole, I still have to see how the others fared. Well, I hope i have the chance to get a decent grade. At least i tink so..

NOW, its biah all the way for Chemistry! One last paper.

Promise I will sleep early tomorrow! History shall never repeat myself, never!

4 down! 1 more to go! Jia You!

冰拿铁?

物品名称:冰拿铁.　
物品含分:水,巧克力,牛奶.　

我知道牛奶对身体有意.　

但我在购买时,只想喝个能提神,含咖啡因的饮料.　

看到是"拿铁",价钱又比起他咖啡罐装饮品来得便宜,就一口气买了半打.　

喝了四罐后才恍然大悟.　

被骗了...　






　　　　　　　　　　　　但其实也不错喝啦!　哈哈..

呆呆 : 工程系=物理?

那么我惨了.

真的! i need motivation to study physics.

不了解. 完全不了解.



i've been stuck on the same page for 10 mins.

怎么办 ????

3 down! 2 more to go!

Hahaha..

FE1008 computing over le.

maybe its comparative. thats why i felt i could manage it better than the first 2 paper ... so this time, I hope FE1008 can pass la.. well, hope that not that many people tot it was easy, so I am not the "base".. really hope to clear it and not touch computing again, haha..

now, its the most dreaded physics. haiz~ neh mind, after physics, its chem, which is relatively easier, but dun let my guards down, muz still jia you...

4 more days to my hard earned holidays.. haha.. seems so fast right.. yay!

will jia you! lets jia you! 2 more papers!!

wish me luck part 2.1

2nd week of exams..

FE1008 - computing.

really not confident.

really dun quite understand.

hope that I noe how to deal with the questions and come up with suitable solutions.

hope i remember all the things.. the codes.. the important stuff.

i really dunno wat to expect.

i'm on my way now.

wish me luck!

我的麦当劳

The time now: 4am. The place: Bukit batok central's 麦当当(sic). The thing i'm doing: studying while waiting for first bus to go back Hall. Haha. I'm blogging using my k800i. Haha. Going to order my breakfast le, wat shall i eat? Haha. Well, i'm here because it is Juz not right to ask Eunice send me back to hall all the way, and i dun wan2 go home because home = sleep n no study n disturb mommy! Orh.. Aren't i sweet? Oh. Juz now went wif the chestnut people to Changi Airport to pick up Guan Yi who has finished her course in Sydney. So good. Then we went to Geylang for food. Dim Sum at lor 17, then bean curd n soy milk n you Tiao, then durians! Service quite good, altho very ex. I wish i ate the durians before my Econs paper.. Why? Because there was this question about the price of durians being cheaper during peak seasons n more expansive during non peak like now. Argh! I've gotta struggle wif my computing now n after monday my Physics. Argh! Really dunno wat to expect. Haiz. Ok la. Will Jia you. Hope to be back in hall soon. For now, i shall mug till the bus cones. Too bad we din take pictures at todays outing. Haiz..