:: thinking through things ::

I sit down
looking through my stuffs
and thinking through the many happenings
that has happened during this holidays
and as i plan for the next week or so
and for the new semester..

Love:
its a complicated thing
between 2 persons
even more so between 2 guys
especially between 2 people who are so different
in many ways
yet sharing the same passion in life
and in this real world
real things happen
and feelings get tweaked

there's too much between us
and around us
for me not to feel tired
but because we love each other so much
we are able to look past these things
and appreciate each other
forget about the flaws
forgive one and others' misdemeanors
and love on like nothing happened..
i wish
this will stay on..
and on..

was at a class chalet i spearheaded
and am I glad that although the turnout was small
but we had fun
and bonded well
i had a chance to bond with the people were going to
be in the same class as me
and we talked also about many things
about class
about life
it was..
nice:)

attended BBE YEC's first meeting..
was a nice session selecting the committee
and the various office bearers..
there's going to be a lot to learn from
being a grassroots leader
in this youth group
and i look forward to working with this dynamic bunch of people
from different walks to life
to organise events for my constituency
and making friends in my neighbourhood
btw..
after little rounds of "elections" and "votings"
i am part of the sports and wellness team,
as well as the New Media and Publicity Secretary..
interesting..
as i hope to hone my skills in design and publication
doing publicity works and such
as well as maintaining good new media health
in the group.
might be able to apply wat i learn from webby design in the new sem..

currently out of dragonboating for awhile
because since i left for vietnam till now
my weekends are all jam packed
so..
no river regatta and db trainings for me this half year..:(

as for my new style in the new sem
i've decided
that i should be a fashion boy like i've always targetted
and go all out in dressing everyday
i've bought a big new collection for this sem
and hope to create new styles that will blow ppl's mind
and upping my own style quotient
to go well with my new fashion blog i plan for next year
as well as our little designing tees business:)
my great clothes collection from uniqlo n topman n river island n g2000
all waiting for me:)

that also brings me to another point..
i'm broke
and my lines are cut off temporary again..
i need to get a work
and try to pay off things for myself..
i dun noe how long more i can sustain a lifestyle like tt
without working
and i feel bad when i swipe the card each time..
well well..
any good job offers to fit my timetable?

and fitness calls..
i need to get a healthy lifestyle
gym n swim.,.
alot alot alot next sem..
loose weight!
with determination and sheer spirit.
i believe!!

alot in my mind
weighing me down..
if u don't see me smile so much
u understand
i've too much load
going through too much
i only hope to do my best in each section
and excel!

for now
i think i need to concentrate and enjoy whatever i have

HMS leadership camp from mon-thurs..
well well..
looking for other commitments..
and also job+money:)

：： 戏如人生 ：：

和大家分享我的一篇文章，拿A的哦。。 哈哈。。（ok la, no A+, at least got an A lo.. )

:: 戏如人生 ::

林觉豪 （T01）

日本戏剧大师铃木忠志（Tadashi Suzuki）曾说：“西方戏剧的主角，就如生活在医院的长期病患，都是病人。编剧，就是这些角色的医生，即也是病情的来源。”（铃木忠志，1982/唐十郎译，1984，页4）就凭这句话，让我深深地被戏剧影响，对实验性戏剧感兴趣，更是投入与各类戏剧剧本，对这类文学产生那份不解的热忱。

我是在小学的时候，被父母逼上英语沟通与戏剧班。当时是以玩玩的心态去参与，主要是为了加强自己的自信心，和建立良好的英语基础。正整六年的戏剧班，让我对这门艺术产生了浓厚的兴趣。到了中学，自然的就加入了戏剧社，在其中也学到了不同的演绎方式，与同学和教师沟通切磋时，认识了铃木忠志这位戏剧大师，偶然对不同戏剧法有了了解和尝试。

铃木忠志以独特的见解，创造出了自己的戏剧教学方式。这一套昭示，如今已被全世界接受与学习当中，最主要，是它勇于把古西方文学代表作拿来加入新点子、新生命，创造出全新的戏剧体验。这套戏法没有久远的历史，但却带给戏剧一个全新的态度以及层面，让大家以不同的眼光去看戏。这也推出了新颖的创作、理念。一套演员教学法让这门艺术潜移默化，成果不只限于演技，同样的也改变了当下新新人类的导演技巧和编剧写作。我就是当中获益不浅的门徒。

带着对“铃木戏剧教学法”的热忱，我有幸在中学时期加入了本地一代戏剧大师郭宝崑所开设的“实践表演艺术学院”。在那一年的课程中，学到了多种戏剧艺术与表演，更有机会向这位本地戏剧教师学习，更曾与郭宝崑老师对过话，过过招。

到我十六岁时，已接触过多种演绎方程式。尝试过传统与新世纪的，也有过中英语表演经验。从中，我还是最爱铃木忠志老师的演绎法，因而深入研究，磨出了自己的风格，投身入戏剧创作与指导。我不断阅读不同戏剧编剧的故事与剧本，从中学习。自己学习，自己领会。秉持着信念，发掘自己的才能。郭宝崑曾提过，“戏剧是生命的反影，更是生命的延伸。戏剧写作是发自内心的、独特的，没得学，也学不来的。”（郭键汶，2003，页194）。我也因此吸收各方创作概念，想不只当个会读戏剧剧本的，或只当演员，在初级学院一年级时，尝试写出生平第一个剧本，参加了当年由TheatreWorks举办的新加坡青年编剧奖，还得了第二名。对当时修读理科的我，不曾受过专业写作训练，让校方感到十分惊讶。

接下来几年，我都参加了新加坡青年编剧奖，年年都如前三甲，当中更有三次夺冠。这当中，我服过兵役，也念了大学。在升大学二年级那年，被本地戏剧团TheatreWorks邀请学习当一部短剧的导演。我那时是随父母心愿念工程系，内心十分不愿。当导演的机会来临时，当然得好好把握。那部剧是本地编剧Robin Loon的《LIV》。当中提到说人最大的困境就是梦境，无论是一直有的梦想，或是白日梦，也可能是晚上做的恶梦，都有它一定的烦恼。（Robin Loon， 2007，页3）我就是追逐着梦想的人，带着许多烦恼，但也把握这每一个机会，享受其中。以为自己是理科的料，却对文科戏剧有着不解深情，始终只能如点水蜻蜓，偶尔过个瘾。

说真的，我一向来都处生于戏剧当中。但都往往没机会去深刻体会或将戏剧当我人生至今的重头戏。戏剧的个各个层面，我都有碰触过，就缺真正的身在戏剧的生活里或真正的去了解它。但戏剧影响了我，让我以不同的角度看人生，体验着真实与虚伪，感受到另一个世界。读着各个不同戏剧文学作品，对我的影响就在于让我痛苦，没有机会去追逐着方面的梦想，却在其中的到了荣誉和加冕，体验过人生的高低潮。一切就如郭宝崑老师所说过，人生的确如戏，戏也的确表现人生，但没真正体验的梦想，最实际、最完整。因为在脑中的画面，永远刻画得最完美。（Kuo Jing Hong，2002， 页29）

资料：
铃木忠志（1982）/唐十郎译 （1984）。铃木忠志编剧的演绎方式。台北：台北时代国际。
郭键汶 （2003）。回忆：郭宝崑（1939-2002）." Inter-Asia Cultural Studies 4.2 (2003): 193-201。
Robin Loon (2007). LIV. Singapore: TheatreWorks Ltd.
Kuo Jing Hong （2002）。Kuo Pao Kun: And love the wind and rain. Singapore: Crucible Pte. Ltd.

:: 10道“美食” 10段故事 10次经验 ::

Tought I should share with you all my 10 photos
I submitted for my
Visual Communications assignment 1,
which is a photography assignment..

well well.. enjoy..

Ants View

Perspective

Low Key

Framing

Greater depth

Shallow Depth

Fast shutter

Silhouette

Slow shutter

Spacing

:: late night ::

just finished my first chinese essay assignment
which is supposed to be of 1200-1500 words..
amazing but true

guess wat..
i busted it..
final character count?
1899..
but well
i would say tt includes a section of lyrics of a sunyanzi song which is approx 150 char
so that does not count
plus an average of 10% of commas and fullstops..
makes it around 1500 la hor..

thats the thing
when u dun have something to start with
you worry
and when u start writing, you have so many descriptions you want to add in
and you might think very far how to develop the writing
then in the middle
you feel juxtaposed
if you want to carry on writing, when should you stop
and how shud it be developed?
will I be able to hit the word limit?

then when you get near the upper limit
you have even more things to write
then shit!
you fly past the upper limit and
pray no one notices that you have flown thru the roof

well
i managed to write my essay and re read it through
and though it still feels farny at some part

i find this essay really interesting
especially since its partially true
though mostly made up
(stop fantasizing, isaac!)

if there's a chance,
i'll post it up here.
though i think no one will be interested to read

those who really want, can always ask me for a soft copy..
haha.. for pleasure reading and let your imagination run wild!

LOL!

oh! wat am i doing here at this time,
its almost 3am!

(oh ya, lying on bed while writing essay has caused my back to be a little pain..
ominous sign tt i shud not go cheerleading practive tmr?? hmm...)

:: no time ::

Yup. I guess its a bit demoralising for you my friends
to visit my blog to only read some rubbish in chinese
or stuffs that you are able to see elsewhere
like on my school blog diandao
or on mediaweb ourvoicebox.sg
worse
my chinese essays!

haha

but well
that IS the case
i've had no time and no creativity in even expressing my own thoughts
too much effirts have been INDULGED into writing for the above platforms
i've relatively no time in writing for myself
it seems now like a chore to be blogging
and that is sad

i find my life rather stale
not in the sense that its been boring
but i try to bring the "news" in my everyday life
first hand translate into chinese
and post it on diandao
which is supposed to be a platform of "communication"
between classmates and teacher danny yeo
but a you may know
writing there is not like writing as Isaac
because i need to take note of my language and to be able to convey the messages across
carefully and properly
and seriously lor,
how personal can you get writing in chinese right?
haha..

i now try to make it a point
as a promise to myself
that I will blog here,
in ENGLISH
with my viewpoints no matter what
to try to keep a promise and staying true to myself
blog at least three times a week
sharing my thoughts
and not just blaming my no time and no energy on my coursework..
damn..

but then again..

i've got a creative essay of 1000 words due in 2 days
5 business cards and logo designs to complete and a formal presentation
10 photos in different views to take (i need models!)
a project about media in taiwan
a project about social psychology to implement and experiment and report
and a blog to write on and communicate..

whoa.. never felt so "fulfilling" in my life

but well... at least i'm happy! i hope.. :)

:: 600 ::

Its been sooo long since my last post!
At least its been freaking long since i wrote a proper post with regards to how i'm doing.. well well..
life has been pretty exciting, but tiring as well.. not sure how some things will turn up as, but there are already some disappointments..

CCA wise, i failed to get ino baracuda batucada, which is quite sad..
magnum force training just started, but its quite straineous, not sure if i can cope..
there's drama but i'm not v keen, mayb i've had quite enuff of it..
and then there's ovb n chinese soc? not v sure though..
but i now wish to concentrate on my studies, really.. even though i said the last time i must jiayou, but week 4 le, i still quite "diao er lang dang".. no good no good!

mayb not having a cca, i can concentrate on my studies, but hor, will b so boring right? hmm..

anyways, in terms of school, i'm really busy le lo..
every week seems so short
with sooooo many projects to do and so many assignments starting to pile up in the back too..
its especially scary!!

my friends are cool though.... and seemingly acceptable to me..
haha..
they are, well, rather innocent people, not yet tainted by the cruelties of this world.
so i can still feel very safe talking to them.. haha!

my other friends wise, well, we had a gathering with the chestnuts last weekend..
which was, what i'll say as zhongguizhongju, ok lo.. but hope the next time we can have more fun,
and make sure every body is HAPPY! as happy as attending my Happy! Party! LOL!

isn't it amazing how life is?
we plan so many things to happen like the way we want it to
but most of them time they fall flat
or an event just goes past and there seems to be things you planned to do but did not accompolish?
i guess that is just life, la.

instead of setting millions of aims,
we should take a step back and look at our life sometimes
is this really the path we want to take?
(no matter big or small decisions)
where should we really rest?
are we doing things on impulse?
where are we heading to?
is this something we will really be happy for?
why are we here?
there are a million of such questions
often left unanswered.

the next time when you meet me
please tell me
that wat we eat or drink or am at is not important
what is more important is that you and me are still good friends
and that we have not "mi shi fang xiang"
we know wat we are doing and are on our way to a blessed life.

it is not easy,
but we need to know if
we are happy.

just like W and I
i feel we are happy
because we can't always be the "perfect" couple.
there are the many imperfections in our relationship which we need to improve
there are the unhappy times that we whish never occured.
there are many things i wish i can tell everyone how much i feel the love.
there has been so many occurings that i dun know which one to share.
the sweet notings
the endless love n sex n kisses
the feeling is deep inside....

just like special friends.
they are always there for you
you know it
and thank god for it.
vinc.. thank you are your mere existance.
we had our "4 years" annivesary for something dumb a few days ago..
it was the day, 4 yrs back,
when i told him about what i really amd and he told me his feelings about tt.
it was farny
no idea why we would commemorate such a day.
now he has someone else he likes, who is soo gdi cute la..(i'm jealous)
i feel happy for him
though deep inside
i feel bad for "converting him" like i always said.
haha. some ppl say, you can't change a person, if he is queer, he IS queer.. well well..

anyway.. so much on my current thoughts and a round up of my messy stage of life now..
i feel really happy though..
there are little percents of unhappiness, grouch, confusion and other terrible feelings
but i shall always try to forget them
and lead a simplistic life and enjoy!
happiness to me and all my friends
and some random ppl who comes to read my blog.

this is my 600th post on Absolutmilo!! WOW!!
to the many 100s more of interesting post to come..
at this place where i share my life, my thoughts, my rants and my creative juices.
happy 600th post!

：：華人。華語。華文：：

since i got a place in NP Chinese Media and Communication
i have been feeling the urge to brush up on my mandarin and chinese
especially since i realise that most of the time when we talk and read
it is in english..
we often forget that we actually use mandarin unknowingly
but think that we normally only use English.

we only remember that we read the newspapers, blogs, internet articles, googles,
facebook, twitters and play games in English,
but we listen more to 933, watch channel 8/U/taiwan shows in mandarin/chinese.

what comes to my attention more is the fact that actually
the worrying thing to me is not speaking or listening to mandarin/chinese
but reading and writing chinese
because this will be a quintessential part of my next three years
(not forgetting working in a chinese media environment and living in china for up to a sem)

hearing and comprehending wat others say in chinese is not so much a problem
but reading and especially writing
i initially wanted to write this blog entry in Chinese using pinyin
but i realise i'm not very good at that because i grew up with using chinese in handwriting only
not on computers.. (even my days at fridayweekly, i was super slow always on the comp la!)
so now
i seriously need to brush up my chinese
and know the cuo bie zi(s)
and knwo which are the correct form of writing
and write in proper characters.
because i've not touched chinese officially for at least 5 years (after J1)
so it might be a challenge..
i don't want to lose to these kids who have been studying chinese for the past 10 years (pri+sec)
and i know i've bteer knowledge in the language

i super don't want to be laughed at with my poor command of the language
or for the lecturers to laugh at mefor cuo bie zi.

I know i used to give chinese tuition
but i guess i need chinese tuition now..
pass me the i-weekly/zaobao.. i shall start writing essays to zaobao again! Haha!