:: when blogging can't serve its purpose ::

i initially intended to just rant on this blog

views that i have and am closely related to about a club which i am in

but after many thoughts

i tink i shall not

since there may be people reading this and i don't want to hurt their feelings

then i'm tinking of my LJ

since its a more private (to me) avenue to express

but yet i also know there ARE people who might also be reading tt and get hurt indirectly

so this comes to the point

whether blogs are just a way to let out your frustrations?

or to show your love and make it look like a beautiful movie

if its a form of expression

when am I having such reserves

well..

its kind of hard when such a thing occurs

but this being my diary i really want to just say it out without any biasness

and not tt i'm supporting such a stand simply due to the fact tt my opportunities have been taken away

for i do not care about tt at all..

the drama club which i am currently involved in

i feel

is just another act of being too under controlled by higher authorities

not tt it is a bad thing

just that i personally feel

there are some people who are a little daunting in such a sense

and makes it feel very stuffy to work in suddenly

recent turn in events

have made me feel tt it is not ready to open up

i am not a vocal person and will not voice it out directly

thus using blogs as a way to express my thoughts

i understand the higher authority is providing with substantial support and monetary supplies

but however,

the club is currently a school club

and like other clubs

should be run solely by the students itself

and thus should have be given the confidence to do so

however

there seems to be a high level of relience

or is it a high level of protection from the authorities

that makes it rather stiffling...

i mean..

not tt i've been tt experienced to be speaking

just sharing my views..

if you want to open a club

and says right from the start tt you welcome people from all walks of life

and is branded by a student club

i believe that that should be it.

currently

there is a sense of great respect for the "descendants" to the higher authorities

and there feels like it is run under full control of them as well.

it feels closed

like its set up to be a sub group of the "party"

and not tt ready to be welcoming the others..

there has been many such incidents in the past few months tt i've seen

and i've encountered rather bad experiences, probably unknown to many.

i mean..

have confidence

set up and let it run

if you want to constraint it in this way'

you will only be scaring people off.

its good to set a vision and standard

and yes, probably you should have some control

but from what i see

the bond between you all are too close

and its really hurtful to see it going in such a way

some kinda dictatorship way.

maybe its time to grow up

really

because trying is good

but over controlling

will only have its adverse effects

if you want things completely run your way..

then keep it within yourselves

shouldn't have bothered to open up.