:: end of Nov ::

Its shocking how time flies..

Its already the end of November..

Very soon.. another brand new year will be here..

Will it be a new start?

Will we be able to move on?

Will we see things in new light?

Will I be more mature?

What new things will I try or explore?

Not exactly looking forward to a new year..

Probably the good things have overcovered the nasty ones in 2009.

Blessings..

:: haven't been ::

Haven't been talking much.
Haven't been seeing much.
Haven't been exploring much.
Haven't been seeking much.
Haven't been doing much.
Haven't been working hard.
Haven't been thinking much.
Haven't been working out.
Haven't been sleeping much.
Haven't been completing tasks.
Haven't been designing.
Haven't been doing loved things.
Haven't been Reading much.
Haven't been loving much.

I feel bad.
I feel laid back.
Far too laid back.
It's time I caught up with life.
And work.
And creating new possibilities
For myself.
And a new way of life
That I shall either start
Or start getting accustomed to.

Haven't been very happy.
Still searching, I guess?
Haven't felt bliss
For a long time.
Hidden, somewhere?


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

:: what I miss ::

Simple, carefree days with little to worry, and money and spending was never an issue.

1. The Sundays and Saturdays when I used to laze on bed.

2. Cozy breakfast with surprises here and there.

3. Saturday nights watching TV and lounging at his place.

4. Mornings with sunny side ups and not headaches.

5. Gym sessions that were an enjoyment and not routine.

6. Nice bed stories, not getting hurt by a horny boy..

7. Good dinner meals, and lots of intelligent conversation.

8. Amazing friends, and incredible thoughts in my head.

9. W. And T.

10. Moving on but not letting go. Best of both worlds is just not possible.

It's time to wake up, Isaac! Treasure what you have and learn to adapt.

It's time to let go..

(sorry baby P. Sorry. Give me some time. It's that phase when I sink deep into memories. Love u:) )


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

:: not easy ::

Relationships aren't easy to maintain. And it gets worse with experience, age and commitments.

You tend to have expectations, either from what has happened in a past relationship, or what you see on Tv or hear from friends.

When u have a fairly large circle of friends, it's not easy to share a new, blossoming relationship, because you will have to explain what happened between you and your ex and all those rumblings.

It gets even worse each time you change a partner, after a loooooong romance/relationship. You wanted the kick of something new, now you have it, it seems like a burden. To start allll over again is no joke. Undergoing the sweet nothings courtship and ambiguity here and there, to knowing each other's friends and intriguing conversations.. Bleah..

Then you start missing that last person. And start the oft unfair comparison between two who might be extreme polar differents. And the pain and irony of missing someone, something, some action... And the intentions and thoughts of going back with him floats in mind..

It will take sone time, probably a loooong tine to finally enjoy the love n passionate romance that two people share.. Only then when the whole getting used to, and boredom cycle kicks in ultimately. Sadly..

Now, there's new fresh factor for me, just like there's a tinge of tireness.. Seriously.

Was it a right decision to explore new ventures just because of a kittle boredom and tireness? Was I fair to him? Can I still turn back?

I wish. Now. Here I am at yet another crossroads, again..


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

:: elearning = break?? ::

Juz watched Beauty n the Beast. Had a blast though I prefered Snow White from last year. I completely love Chua Enlai's character, Desiree Bong, as well as the fact that Alfian added many great, current news stories, like a certain Boomzical person n her tag lines.

1. E learning weeks n I've still not e learned anything. What exactly is e learning? For teachers n school to use students for outreach activities or for students to get an unjustified break??

2. Arts Biz is gonna be a fin course. I do want to change. Should I??

3. Secondary school kids are tooooo pampered. Some are just bitches or bimbos. Rawr!!

4. Assignments?? I'm not keeping up pace with school work. What's the rest of sem about? Question marks all over my face. Lost.

5. Like my competitive self, I really want to be in HMS Society Exco.. Haha.. Prolly brought forward the urge from my fantastic or not fantastic experiences (of unfairness??) back in NTU.. (did someone whisper Hall 4 election? I meant screwed, unbalanced, skewed elections..?)

6. Getting sick. My throats feeling a little itch n pain. Shall make friends with a certain sea coconut brand or pipa..

7. Love is tiring. Love is fun. Do I know you? I am not sure. It's confusing. But, I'm happy. Guess that's enough.

8. Money control. I've got no control. When? How much scolding then enough? Hai.. I need to wake up!!!

Reaching home with baby P. ;) good nightz..!!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

:: thinking back on these few days ::

I am tired.. very tired.. but I do not know why..

1. E-learning weeks are one hell of a rollercoaster ride. Very busy.

2. I feel lost in a weird way. Not knowing what I should do or where I am. I need positioning.

3. I seem overly pursuing something way out of my task. Why am I not studying and working hard on projects.

4. I overspent. Period.

5. Too busy. Far too busy with all the camps, ambassador, shopping, designing for label. Lost sight of target, again.

6. VOX! New Media Camp is, well, not tt exciting and fun. The school I'm attached to (JSS) is erm.. i've got too many negative things to comment. So shall stop. Overall, its a eat n eat camp. Hah!

7. Look forward to making new friends and interacting with hte kids at Arts Biz Camp tmr n thurs. :)

8. Who are my friends? I seem to not know. Blurred. Bad! Weird sensation lik how it was between me and zhiwei in the past is back. I treasure you as one of my bestie. Really.

9. Not focusing on my schoolwork. I really need to buck up. Almost half way through. I can't get last sem's results anymore. It was a wake up call to work harder if I want to go back to Pulau NTU again.

10. Visions blurred. Is dressing up and friends and friendships and joking partners more important? Is shopping important?

11. Alot on my mind. New start of a relationship. With guilt no less. Its happening to me once and over again. Izts bad. But is this the norm? Hope not. I need to settle down. Not young anymore.. What is the meaning to this? I seems to not know. Sad.

:: my tooth hurts ::

OUCH!
its been hurting for days
and now
its there.. the pain..
and i'm in school
without my painkillers

omg.. its building up..
but how?
i don't want to spend $$ to visit dentist..
roar!

what's happening to the 3rd tooth on the left on my upper jaw?
argh!

its officially giving me a headache..
physical headache..
its all connected, i guess.

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